The Bar

Back in my late teens/early 20's I went every now and then on a Monday night to a non-denominational worship rally held at the Canadian Christian college where hundreds of Christian youth-adults would gather. I found it both a refreshing and challenging time, and it gave me a lot of strength during a couple of difficult years as well as teaching me new things as I became an 'adult' in my walk with God.

I'm pretty sure it's the first place I had heard people speaking in tongues, and seen people slain in the spirit, and without opening any sort of ethical or theological discussion on that fact, it was an interesting experience having grown up in the Salvos and never being apart of anything like that before. I had several amazing encounters with others and with God that still blow my mind to think about, but that isn't what has caused me to remember those Monday nights of my youth.

Aside from any of my thoughts on the 'worship' aspect of these nights, there were some amazing speakers. I didn't agree with all of them, and I'm sure they didn't all have it worked out, but nonetheless, each week I felt challenged and encouraged by the words spoken at these Monday night meetings.

There is one speaker on one night that has always stuck out to me, and it's a preach that I've often reflected on when challenged about something personally or by those around me in this particular area.

More or less...this is what he said...

There is bar we have as Christians. A bar that we use to measure up our life choices and decisions, what we use to determine right from wrong.

As we live out our lives as people of the church we start to forget who set that bar, and instead turn our eyes to one another.

We look over at Fred over there and say to ourselves, 'well...at least I'm not doing THAT like he is' and the bar gets lowered a little bit. We then look at Susan over there and say to ourselves, 'well... at least I only do it once a week, not every day like she does', and the bar gets lowered a little bit more. Then we see Tom over there and say to ourselves, 'well...at least I still go to church, unlike him' and the bar gets lowered a little bit more.

This continues, usually without us realizing it, as we justify and rationalize our actions according to how our fellow brothers and sisters are living our their own lives, feeling relief and satisfaction in the fact that at least we're doing it all just that little bit better.

Before you know it, the bar is no longer where it was...far from it. It's settled so far beneath where it should be that perhaps what was 'black and white' becomes grey, and what we always 'knew' to be 'right' now seems cloudy and uncertain.

The problem is that we're all fallen, weak, sinful human beings, and therefore it will only cause us harm and compromise to compare ourselves against one another. There is in fact only one that we can be justified against...only one who should be telling us where that bar needs to be, without allowing it to slowly get lower.

That about summarizes the preach, and of course, preaching to teens and young adults it held great impact, because temptation, justification and compromise comes with the territory of growing up and learning our way in the world.

Thinking about it now though, I think it's an even bigger danger for those who are 'adults'. Teenagers have the excuse of hormones, peer pressure, high school, the influence of the media, and so forth to fall back on...and usually, eventually, they learn from their mistakes.

When you're an adult and you've come to the conclusion that you've worked it all out, that you're solid in your walk with God, or that you're a great contributor to the church and Christian community....I think you're actually at a much bigger risk at letting that bar slowly slip from where God had set it to where it's just a little bit more comfortable to suit the lifestyle you've chosen or the choices you have made. The problem then becomes, that it's a whole lot harder to admit to yourself that perhaps the bar has slipped or even to get it back to where it should be, because at least with teenagers, they're in a time in their life to be molded and formed and are just extremely teachable. It's not always the case once we hit the point of deciding that we've got things pretty much figured out.

There's probably a multitude of directions you could take the analogy preached about so many years ago to a much younger version of myself, as well as ways to discuss the theology of it or how it practically plays out.

Regardless....it's a thought someone once had to preach about to a group of a couple hundred youth, and I've got to say, it's stuck.

Probably a good thing to pop back into my mind every now and then as I take a look at my own bar, the slippery sucker that it is, and ask God to help me get it back up to where we both know it's supposed to be.

A Life Worth Following

Growing up in the church, believing in God and the journey of what that looked like goes back as far as I remember. I have memories of Sunday school and sitting in church with my parents as far back as my memories go. Saying prayers at night time, hearing Bible stories, and being involved in various programs and activities (brass band, Christmas productions, singing groups, etc).

What I also remember is how that realm of all things God related was trapped within some sort of bubble...a bubble of my own making I’m sure. It didn’t transcend so much into the rest of my life until I was well and truly into my teen years and no longer a ‘kid’. I didn’t spend a whole lot of time with friends from church, only school ones, nor did I speak a whole lot about those extracurricular activities once I was outside of this bubble.

Maybe part of that was to do with not being sure of or strong enough to stand up for what I believed. Maybe I didn’t know how the two worlds were supposed to relate to each other, never finding anyone else outside of the bubble who shared similar beliefs and activities. Maybe it was a little of both.

I have this vivid memory. I was in grade 6. The Billy Graham Crusade was in Toronto at the Sky Dome. We attended the programs that were intended for kids, as well as some of the concerts that were put on (DC Talk among others). I don’t remember what was talked about or preached on. But, what I do remember is the feeling...the revelation...of sitting in a packed stadium FULL of other kids. Other kids who obviously had a similar faith and knew the same God I knew. More than just a dozen others who shared a Sunday school class with me...this was different. We filled a public stadium, that normal every day people used all the time for normal type stuff...and talked about God!

I was on a high when I went back to school after that weekend. I was buzzing with the realisation that there were so many others. Not only that, there were these amazing people who spoke and incredible bands that played, and they all believed the same thing I did. I remember trying to share that excitement with two girls in my class. I showed a dog tag necklace I had gotten from the event and explained how the Sky Dome was full of people as we got to be part of this very fun and very cool weekend. Know what the reaction was? They laughed. They told me I was wrong. They told me I was making it up and that there was no way such an event took place and that it had to do with church or God. I did argue, and I did push..but eventually, defeated, let it go. And sadly, pretty much put it all back in the bubble and continued on as I was before...until, like I said above, several years had passed and I was well into my teens.

This story serves a point as I reflect on it. As a kid growing up in the church, I was never taught how to integrate that bubble into the ‘real’ world. How to allow what I learned and what I believed to transform me in such a way to make my life stand out because, somehow, I was different. Of course there were the typical teachings of how to be a child evangelist, encouraging us to bring our friends along to church and programs. But I lacked, as did many others I’m assuming, the ability to be wholly transformed by what I believed so that I led a life that was county cultural and stood out from what everyone else was doing.

Now today. I’ve done and learned a lot of things. I’ve gotten a degree from a theological college, and I have worked for over 10 years for The Salvation Army is varying capacities. There is no keeping my beliefs in the bubble, even if I wanted to. Due to where I have chosen to work and study, it is automatically presumed that I am a Christian. It’s no longer a matter of keeping hidden what I believe, but needing to make an effort to not compromise how people view those who do believe in God by what I say and do. In many effects, it’s an apologetic work as I strive to show those who have been hurt by the church or ‘religion’ in some shape or form what it really means to know love from God.

Now, let’s draw the comparison from my earlier story from when I was in grade 6. The problem with kids and God is that often they don’t know how to make it ‘fit’ into their ‘normal’ life...how to bridge two worlds, two cultures, and to have it all make sense in one lifestyle. Compare this to the life of adults and God. There’s probably still the same issues kids face, but going with my examples of where I currently am, the difficulty now lies with people knowing I’m a ‘Christian’ and therefore being judged on the fact.

I’m all for pride, stubbornness and just not caring what people think of me (I think something to that effect was said in the matron of honours speech at my wedding!). But how about instead of saying, it’s not fair to be held on a higher pedestal because I go to church, or, it’s my life and I can choose how I live it regardless of what people think......we actually embrace the opportunity to use our very life, the decisions we make and words that we say, to remake people’s views of religion, God and the church.

How about we suck up that pride and stubbornness and say, because people are watching...I am therefore going to make a decision about where I work, what kind of house I live in, where I choose to travel, how I spend my free time, what I do with my income, what causes I fight for, who I spend my time with....and use it all to be a living example of the transformation God has made in you?

I could argue for the fact I believe that if God has really transformed your heart, all of the above should just happen...but the reality is it’s hard, and we are a weak and broken people. The bubble is easier, cleaner, and makes it much easier to shut out what I don’t agree with about the church and it’s decisions, and means I can hide when I’m just too tired to do the ‘right’ thing.

There was something wrong with the grade 6 me, albeit not all of it was my fault. However, knowing what I do now, I will actively work towards using my natural red-headed stubbornness and pride to make my life one that is worthy of being dubbed as someone who knows God.