I'll admit it. Sometimes I enjoy the company of kids to that of adults.
Maybe that seems like a given since my occupation is working with young people. Or perhaps you find me childish or immature so no surprises there.
Honestly, as exhausting as managing large group of energetic children is or as frustrating as it can be running programs for non compliant kids...some days I'd still prefer to sit and chat with a primary schooler then with a table full of adults.
It's something about their non judgemental attitudes, their creative imaginations, their childhood innocence and selflessness that can be refreshing to be around. I know some adults just find kids exhausting, or are unable to relate to them, but I think that's cause we try too hard or have simply forgotten what life was like before we had "grown up" worries and stresses.
I often spend time with young people in my jobs who deal with some really big issues or "bad" things that are part of their every day life that as an adult we would have difficulty dealing with. Yet, these kids still have an inherit ability to care about others in their life, to dream big and have crazy imaginations, and to find reasons to smile. That's certainly more then I can say I do when I find life getting quite hard.
I enjoy time with children because although they can be bossy, struggle to share their favourites of things, and don't always listen to instructions...they still notice when a friend is having a bad day, or realise when an adult in their life is struggling with something, always want to give a hug when they see someone who is sad, or are willing to include kids sitting alone in the games that they're playing at recess. They are keen observers and "noticers" of the world that is happening around them, and very readily pick up when something has changed with the people they are familiar with in their lives.
I think we lose this as adults. We become so focused on the "me, myself and I" of a situation, we forget how our actions effect those around us, and how to notice when those around us are showing us actions that they would like for something else to notice.
I heard a saying recently that pretty much said, "telling someone not to share when they're struggling because someone is going through something worse, is the same as telling something not to share when they're happy because someone else may be even happier." We all have our baggage, issues, and difficulties that we carry each day. No one should feel like theirs is not worthy of being heard and supported, nor should they be made to feel that they're not justified in feeling the way that they do.
What I struggle with is people who are so focused on their baggage, or how much "worse" their struggles are to those around them, that they forget to look outside themselves to notice those around them. It doesn't take much to say a genuine "how are you?", to think about how your actions affect those around you (after all, no man is an island), and to simply notice the people around you in your day to day (as more then just a sounding board or someone to off load YOUR problems onto). If I had a dollar for every person who asked me a question about my life or current situation and then immediately changed the conversation to talking about themselves... (apologies to those that I do that to...it's a work in progress!)
I am thankful for the selfless people in my life. When I think about those I've appreciated most in my life growing up, who I feel inspired by in every conversation, and who I value every minute spent with, those people are all strongly selfless. Capable of great conversation that doesn't circle around themselves, with not just those closest to them but with everyone single person they meet and converse with. Those who say "how are you?" and there is no doubt in your mind that they really want to hear the answer. Those who notice when a stranger on the bus just needs someone to smile at them, or the mother struggling with her pram needs help getting down those steps. These are people I strive to be more like, to be able to balance my own struggles with still genuinely caring for those around me.
Please don't stop sharing when you're struggling with others, or taking time to fill your needs and looking after yourself (this really isn't done enough!). But maybe take a page from that of a child, and simply become "aware" of what's happening in the lives of the people around you, whether they be close friends or someone you meet for the first time. Take the time to notice what is happening in the lives of those around you (beyond perhaps how what they're doing directly effects you...this is still inherently selfish). I promise you won't have to carry the loads of everyone you meet, or be expected to solve the worlds issues. But maybe you'll gain some perspective about where you sit in the grand scheme of things, or get to know someone far better, or even just simply be more connected to the world beyond your own bubble.
I think if we all a bit more time looking beyond ourselves, taking time to notice those around us, then maybe we all wouldn't feel the need to be so selfish and to spend so much time immersed in our own world...because after all there'd be heaps of people taking the time to ask how you were and helping to support you through the baggage that you're carrying.
