I've been meaning to post for the past week or two, and I'm finally getting around to doing it.
Life has continued to be full of it's ups and downs lately..but hey, it keeps things interesting.
I spent today and yesterday as a registrar/book seller for a two-day conference in the city. It's a job I do now and then when it fits into the rest of my schedule, and overall pays pretty good money for a fairly simple day. I took advantage of the times when the seminar was in session (and I had nothing to do) to do some readings for a essay that's due in a week on Ecclesiastes. I did a couple hours worth today, and was left with my head just flooded with different theologians opinions on the "everything is meaningless under the sun" wisdom book of the Old Testament.
Though I haven't quite nutted out the outline of my essay, or what approach I'm going to take, I was left feeling enlightened. Though a reading of Ecclesiastes may leave one feeling quite depressed, and searching for some sort of meaning to be in existence....it put a lot of things into perspective for me.
As the "teacher" who wrote this book explains very honestly, we are all faced with the prospect of death...and we all live "in death's shadow." Doesn't matter who you are....wise or a fool, poor or rich...we will all meet the same end. Now, there are mixed views on whether we should take from this book that in light of death, we need to live life to it's fullest because all we have is this moment....or that life itself is a gift because we have knowledge and wisdom, and those who are dead do not...or that all that matters is that we live a life of wisdom, and not folly, and live having fear of the Lord...or that your riches mean nothing once you've died, but wisdom you can leave behind and pass on.
There's many more ideas, and I didn't do any of those points justice, so please forgive me but I still have much to try and work out from all the thoughts swimming around in my head at the moment. But, as I said, it has put a lot of things into perspective for me.
Life is a gift..and that may be easy to agree with, and it may be used frequently to warm hearts, but seriously take that in for a minute. Stop the complaining...stop the worrying...stop the obsessing over all the material things that you can't take with you...stop indulging in the world to try and fill some need you think you have. Just stop. Life is a gift. Now the question is...do you actually appreciate that gift? This fleeting moment you have on earth...do you appreciate the small joys that God blesses you with every day? Do you remember to thank God every day for the gift of breath?
I think that's all I'll say on that one for the moment.
Just to finish off, kind of a random story that also happened while working at this seminar. Yesterday the seminar leader asked me what I do, and I said I was a student. He asked studying what, and I gave my usual answer of "I'm at a theological college" which usually results in a blank face when speaking to your every day person. But, to my surprise, the conversation just sparked from there. As it turns out, he's a Bible teacher when he's not leading seminars. Later on that day, a lovely lady who was attending the seminar came to chat with me, which resulted in the same question. This time, it turned out that she works at a Christian book store and had lots she wanted to share with me. Then today, a guy was jetting past on his way to the toilets, when he saw that I was doing some reading. This typical looking biker guy, complete with tattoos up and down both arms, asked what I was studying. Once again, turns out that he's a lecturer for theological studies, and knows my school quite well. By the end of today, I have to say I was feeling quite encouraged and baffled! Normally hardly anyone engages me in conversation at these events, and never does it lead to this result! Goes to show I think that God really is everywhere, in all shapes and sizes.
Blessings!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
What's love got to do with it
I had a random thought last night as I was drifting off to sleep, and thought I should throw up a blog about it.
Up until very recently, the only time I had been in a relationship where I told the boy that I loved him was when I was 15. Thinking back to that relationship (which was also my first boyfriend), I can remember hanging up the phone one night after a very exciting conversation with the boy, and very giggly explaining to my mum that he had said those 3 magical words to me. At the time I thought her cool and calm response of a nod and smile failed to do justice to how fantastic the situation was....but in hind sight I'm sure she was just trying to contain the laughter at my very silly display.
In the end...that relationship only lasted two months...and one month of that was spent with the boy on holidays with his family (a summer relationship). So, its fair enough to say that this "love" was pretty skin deep and probably more inf actuation then anything else.
The point I think I was wanting to get at is this. Does it really count if you say "I love you" to someone as a teenager? Or do you really know what "love" is if it's your first relationship? Or is there a certain age limit that you have to hit to know what it means to fully experience love?
In reflection of myself, I think that I can safely say I'm in love with someone for the first time in my life. Because I know that he's my best friend, and that it's a love that has grown out of years of growing friendship.
What I think about that other love from when I was 15? I guess summed up, I just didn't know any better. I was (and still am, though I try to repress it) a hopeless romantic and "in love with love" as they say. I thought that all those extreme emotions that started controlling my day to day life upon meeting that 15 year old lad obviously had to be love....and maybe it was on a very small scale. In a very naive immature way that 15 year olds see and experience "love."
I have more thoughts I'm sure, but this is turning out longer then I had intended...but I will leave it open to feedback. Any one else have any other thoughts, stories or pearls of wisdom?
Up until very recently, the only time I had been in a relationship where I told the boy that I loved him was when I was 15. Thinking back to that relationship (which was also my first boyfriend), I can remember hanging up the phone one night after a very exciting conversation with the boy, and very giggly explaining to my mum that he had said those 3 magical words to me. At the time I thought her cool and calm response of a nod and smile failed to do justice to how fantastic the situation was....but in hind sight I'm sure she was just trying to contain the laughter at my very silly display.
In the end...that relationship only lasted two months...and one month of that was spent with the boy on holidays with his family (a summer relationship). So, its fair enough to say that this "love" was pretty skin deep and probably more inf actuation then anything else.
The point I think I was wanting to get at is this. Does it really count if you say "I love you" to someone as a teenager? Or do you really know what "love" is if it's your first relationship? Or is there a certain age limit that you have to hit to know what it means to fully experience love?
In reflection of myself, I think that I can safely say I'm in love with someone for the first time in my life. Because I know that he's my best friend, and that it's a love that has grown out of years of growing friendship.
What I think about that other love from when I was 15? I guess summed up, I just didn't know any better. I was (and still am, though I try to repress it) a hopeless romantic and "in love with love" as they say. I thought that all those extreme emotions that started controlling my day to day life upon meeting that 15 year old lad obviously had to be love....and maybe it was on a very small scale. In a very naive immature way that 15 year olds see and experience "love."
I have more thoughts I'm sure, but this is turning out longer then I had intended...but I will leave it open to feedback. Any one else have any other thoughts, stories or pearls of wisdom?
Sunday, March 02, 2008
I've had questions
I've been doing a lot of thinking about life in the past couple weeks, as I've been riding a bit of an emotional roller coaster.
During mentoring a couple days ago, we talked about being to 'suffer' in life, but to still be able to worship God. That it's a hard path to go through, but being able to actually worship despite any circumstances or what you're feeling, allows you to reach a whole new level in your relationship with God. The pain and emotion doesn't necessary go away...because what you're feeling and experiencing is just life sometimes....but to be able to pour all of that out to God, exactly how you're feeling, and still be able to praise and worship him...is such a comfort.
We had 36 hour prayer this weekend in Reservoir, and during one of my prayer shifts, a song came on the randomized play list on the ipod that was left in the prayer room. It's a song I've heard many times, and have always enjoyed, but this time meant something all new to me. In it's lyrics it seems to embody all that I've been thinking about recently, as well as my conversation in mentoring on Friday. Maybe it was just the first time that this is where I am in my life so it just hit home.
Anyways, here's the song and the lyrics...
During mentoring a couple days ago, we talked about being to 'suffer' in life, but to still be able to worship God. That it's a hard path to go through, but being able to actually worship despite any circumstances or what you're feeling, allows you to reach a whole new level in your relationship with God. The pain and emotion doesn't necessary go away...because what you're feeling and experiencing is just life sometimes....but to be able to pour all of that out to God, exactly how you're feeling, and still be able to praise and worship him...is such a comfort.
We had 36 hour prayer this weekend in Reservoir, and during one of my prayer shifts, a song came on the randomized play list on the ipod that was left in the prayer room. It's a song I've heard many times, and have always enjoyed, but this time meant something all new to me. In it's lyrics it seems to embody all that I've been thinking about recently, as well as my conversation in mentoring on Friday. Maybe it was just the first time that this is where I am in my life so it just hit home.
Anyways, here's the song and the lyrics...
I've Had Questions - Tim Hughes
I've had questions, without answers
I've known sorrow, I have known pain
But there's one thing, that I'll cling to
You are faithful, Jesus You're true
When hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour
When pain surrounds, I'll call You Healer
When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart
In the lone hour, of my sorrow
Through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me, and sustain me
My defender, forever more
When hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour
When pain surrounds, I'll call You Healer
When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart
I will praise You, I will praise You
When the tears fall, still I will sing to You
I will praise You, Jesus praise You
Through the suffering still I will sing
When hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour
When pain surrounds, I'll call You Healer
When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart
I've had questions, without answers
I've known sorrow, I have known pain
But there's one thing, that I'll cling to
You are faithful, Jesus You're true
When hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour
When pain surrounds, I'll call You Healer
When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart
I will praise You, I will praise You
When the tears fall, still I will sing to You
I will praise You, Jesus praise You
Through the suffering still I will sing
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