I had a random thought last night as I was drifting off to sleep, and thought I should throw up a blog about it.
Up until very recently, the only time I had been in a relationship where I told the boy that I loved him was when I was 15. Thinking back to that relationship (which was also my first boyfriend), I can remember hanging up the phone one night after a very exciting conversation with the boy, and very giggly explaining to my mum that he had said those 3 magical words to me. At the time I thought her cool and calm response of a nod and smile failed to do justice to how fantastic the situation was....but in hind sight I'm sure she was just trying to contain the laughter at my very silly display.
In the end...that relationship only lasted two months...and one month of that was spent with the boy on holidays with his family (a summer relationship). So, its fair enough to say that this "love" was pretty skin deep and probably more inf actuation then anything else.
The point I think I was wanting to get at is this. Does it really count if you say "I love you" to someone as a teenager? Or do you really know what "love" is if it's your first relationship? Or is there a certain age limit that you have to hit to know what it means to fully experience love?
In reflection of myself, I think that I can safely say I'm in love with someone for the first time in my life. Because I know that he's my best friend, and that it's a love that has grown out of years of growing friendship.
What I think about that other love from when I was 15? I guess summed up, I just didn't know any better. I was (and still am, though I try to repress it) a hopeless romantic and "in love with love" as they say. I thought that all those extreme emotions that started controlling my day to day life upon meeting that 15 year old lad obviously had to be love....and maybe it was on a very small scale. In a very naive immature way that 15 year olds see and experience "love."
I have more thoughts I'm sure, but this is turning out longer then I had intended...but I will leave it open to feedback. Any one else have any other thoughts, stories or pearls of wisdom?
2 comments:
Hey Esther,
great to see you blogging again!
You raise some interesting questions here about love... things I've often thought about myself at times.
I know I said those 3 words to a few boys when I was a teen. I don't think it means as much as the love I would want to share with someone at this point in my life. I like to think of love in the words of Edmund Bertram (Jane Austen's Mansfield Park) "there are as many forms of love as there are moments in time".
So I guess that is my pearl.
Any pearl of wisdom quoted from Jane Austen is gold in my books :)
that's definitely a good line!
Thx Heather!
Post a Comment