The Grand Finale!

It's been ages since I've written a blog, so I thought it was about time I updated.

Although it was weird not being at home and being around family and good friends, I still had an enjoyable birthday over all. I shared a lovely birthday dinner with the Atkins, my Australian family, which included party hats and dim sims...what else could I ask for? Also scored the "Rent" soundtrack (thx Matt!) and have been enjoying listening to that every day on the ride in to work.

I had my first experience at children's court on Friday. I'll be going every Friday for two hours, just to hang out with kids who are involved with their families in court cases. It was a full on time when I was there, as we had heaps of kids running rampid in the play room, but it was a lot of fun, and great to be working with kids again. I look forward to this ministry this year as it's not an atmosphere I've worked in before.

Tomorrow afternoon we're starting our program at the Flemington Flats. Pretty much I'm in charge of this activity that we're going to run every Tuesday afternoon from 3:45 - 4:45 for the children who live in these flats. It's an extremely multi-cultural and poor area that 614 just started getting involved with at the end of last year. Not sure how many will turn out tomorrow as we've just started handing out flyers, but hopefully it'll be a good afternoon anyways. Prayers would be appreciated over this ministry as I'm super nervous about it, and just really wanting God to use me in a productive way in this program.

Overall, last week I found a lot of things becoming a bit of a struggle with the Order program that I'm on. I ended the week just physically and mentally exhausted, and now unfortunately afraid that I'm getting sick, which I'm not at all excited about. It's been a continual struggle since the beginning of this program, living with the very diverse and dramatic people that I am living in community with. Three members have left over the course of the past two weeks, so that will be changing the dynamics up a bit. But I am finding it hard to build positive relationships with a few people that I live with, as well as just feeling comfortable in my house to just hang out with my other team mates. Also struggling with feeling like I'm not getting spiritually fed, and receiving positive input into my life while on this program. I've got a few people outside the order that I know I can depend on for support and encouragement, and a house that I can spend every weekend at to get a sanity break, but it's still an area I'm struggling with. So, I guess I'm asking for prayers over me remaining strong, focused on God, and that things will be put in place that can help me be challenged and grow spiritually.

I had an interesting thought occur to me last night as I was doing some prayer activities at the Moreland corps. One of the reasons contributing to my decision to coming to Australia was to build on my independence, and to learn to live away from home, and away from everything and everyone I had grown to be somewhat dependent on. Something I realized last night though was that I'm actually the most un-independent right now that I have been since I was probably 16 or 17. I do have a lot of freedom in what I do in my free time, I don't have a curfew, and I can budget and spend my money on what I like..but 75% of my life right now is organized and delegated to me in the form of a time table that I am expected to adhere to...even down to what church I am to call home, which I never thought would be a struggle.

So...I've come to learn how to be independent, and have entered a program that has more control over the decisions in my life then I do. At what point then is this a learning experience that I'm being humble and giving up the idea of control to other's so that I might learn what it is to be flexible and let others dictate to me what is expected of my time.....and then when does it become a realization that I'm old enough and smart enough to be independent and give up control to God alone, and make my own decisions about what occupies my time and the direction that I take my life?

And I think I'll leave my ramblings at that. Hope everyone is doing well.

Blessings!