T minus 5 hours....

Leaving in about 5 hours to go to the airport to head down to Jamacia....why am I still awake??

I just realized today, as the day progressed, how much I still had yet to put together and figure out before heading off for two weeks...but I just have a few more emails to write, and I think I can go and catch a few winks before waking up again!!

Just wanted to ask again that over the next two weeks you keep our mission team of 40 in your prayers as we are working in Jamacia. For safety, for productivity, for unity, for good health, and to remember Jesus in all that we do!

Thanks..and I'll see you bloggers in a couple weeks!

Blessings,

The Salvation Army and our Youth

Every Thursday night at my church we have our Teen Drop In (TDI). We've recently tried to reformat it, as we just have an abundance of teens coming to hang out and talk, and it can become difficult at times to decide a topic to discuss with such a large group of opinionated teens.

However, last night, we began a discussion about the Salvation Army. In our youth group we have youth who were raised in the army, youth who are officer kids, youth who attended a different church all together but join us on Thursday nights, and youth who are brand spanking new to the Salvation Army within the last 6 months. But...we all have the Salvation Army in common, in one way shape or form.

The discussion started out slowly as different people talked about why it was they attended our church, and why they had chosen a Salvation Army church. About 10 minutes into discussion however, the topic got turned to uniforms and senior soldiership. It was interesting to notice all the opinions and questions that the youth have regarding these topics, yet had never been spoken out about before from them. I was honestly amazed at the intelligence and thought that went into what a lot of the youth shared and talked about in reference to what they thought about the Salvation Army uniform and how it affected them.

Our youth ranges from teens who are in songsters and band (although not all of them in uniform), to teens who are apart of the worships team (some uniform, some not), to teens who would claim that they would never under any circumstances wear the uniform. So, not all who were present for the discussion agreed with one another, but it was definitly a safe environment for the youth to rant and rave about feelings and opinions they had regarding this topic, without fear of critiquing or condemnation from the "older" part of the church (a point I'll go into more detail later on).

A couple thoughts brought up that stuck out to me were the following:

- 14 is too young for a teen to sign and pledge to a Senior Soldier covenant

- Soldiership should follow where the youth are in school (i.e junior soldiership for elementary students, corps cadets for middle/highschool students, and senior soldiership for high school graduates)

- The uniform was created to wear outside the church as a witnessing ministry - so why not change it so that you wear the uniform when you are doing ministry and out in the public, but not on a sunday when you are with fellow believers

- The separation between those who are in uniform, and those who aren't can cause those who are new to the Salvation Army, or just looking for a church, to feel excluded based on how they look

- The uniform can be intimidating to people when you are out in the world during ministry and cause a barrier to those you are trying to reach

- too much emphasis is placed on how the Christian looks (i.e what they are wearing) instead of the heart that they have for God, and the words that are coming out of their mouths as they witness to the friends with whom they "fit in" with because of how they dress

These are just a few of the ideas and thoughts that were brought up last night. I want to remind anyone who is reading this, that I am not saying that I either support or disagree with any of the things above, nor were all these thoughts mine. They were ideas and deep feelings that were expressed by a large group of Salvationist youth in a comfortable, non - threatening environment. I don't feel that any of us have the right to tell them that they are wrong for what they believe, nor are their thoughts not valid.

I do find it interesting though how many youth referred to the "older" part of the members who attend our church, and that they felt a lot of pressure, and condemnation from that part of our church. I don't think that the ideas shared are necessarily just a "youth" thing, and should then cause a rift between generations of Salvationist. Actually, there was a mother of a couple of the youth present at this discussion, and shared her thoughts regarding the uniform as well, that could have very well have come from a teen. It was just interesting to me to notice how many of the youth referred to the "older" part of our church, when speaking about what it was they were sharing.

I also find it interesting that I think a lot of what the youth shared last night, they would never say in public at our church, and probably a lot of them wouldn't even say it to their parents. Because a lot of them are made to feel that what they are saying is wrong...that they aren't allowed to question who or what the Salvation Army is, and what it stands for. I am completely against this idea, and think that they need to voice their opinions and share their thoughts, because even though some may be uneducated in their rants and raves...they are from the heart, and they are a part of the Salvation Army church as much as the next person.

I'm not sure really what the "point" or "moral" of this blog is. But I know that our youth have opinions..a lot of them..that aren't being shared. We want our children and youth to be able to speak up and be apart of what the Salvation Army is, and where it's going. But how do we expect them to do that, if we condemn them for what they are going to say? They shouldn't be made to feel that their opinions aren't legate, nor that they aren't worthy of being said. They need to be encouraged to share. Maybe this was just the starting point for our churches youth. The safe, non-threatening environment of a room full of teens who share their thoughts and ideas. I hope that they will all get to the point where they won't feel intimidated or unworthy to share with others what they are so passionately holding in their hearts.

His name is Russell

Friday night I met an incredible man. A brilliant, genius of a mind, with eyes that looked into my heart and soul and told me things he believed God was sharing with him. He revealed things to me about my character that he could read by our conversations, and filled my heart with encouragement and strength as he spoke with passion and real love for his Lord and Saviour. His name is Russell. I met him Friday night, where he was panhandling on Queen Street.

My friend Sharon and I set out on a mission Friday night that the Lord put us on. We didn't know what, or who, we would encounter, but we knew God was leading us, and we had no choice but to follow. We set out from the Eaton Centre after having a prayer to commit the night to the Lord, and walked along Queen Street. Within about 2 minutes, we came across a man, half in the shadows, sitting on the ground with some change in front of him and a smile on his face. As we approached, he looked at us and said "In darkness, there is joy." We handed him a sandwich, and he was over joyed at the sight of food. He began to talk to us very openly, so we sat down beside him and began to chat.

His name is Russell, he told us. Although his thoughts were often scattered, and would jump from topic to topic, we managed to keep up and participate in quite a passionate conversation. Turns out Russell loves to read, and just devours books. He spends a lot of time in the library and can literally tell you (very accurately) about almost anything in history. Whether it be about the Greeks, the Romans, Canadian History, or Jesus Christ...he's got it down pat. But he doesn't just talk, or recite the knowledge that he has in his head. He passionately and emotionaly gets right to the heart of it all, and challenges you about things that would never have crossed your mind normally. His head isn't just filled with knowledge...it's just brimming with real and true wisdom.

The biggest thing that struck me about Russell is how he wept. Two occasions that he began to cry stick out in my mind very strongly.

The first was when he had asked Sharon and I what we thought about Jesus Christ. After we responded, I turned it around and asked him the same question. He became quiet, closed his eyes, tilted his head down....and wept. Not a single tear, or a quite sob. Full weaping took hold of this man. He looked up at us and apologized, but said that Jesus just meant so much to him, and struck him so deep...he couldn't help but weap. And there was no way this was an act, or carefully placed together words. He was demonstrating REAL emotion and TRUE love for Jesus. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen and experienced. It will be a memory that I will carry with me forever. A man not knowing what else to, besides cry, because the love for his Saviour is just too great.

The second time that Russell was overcome with emotion was when he began to talk about "beautiful minds." It happened several different times throughout the conversation. He would talk about different people in history who were "beautiful minds," who cared about people, and changed history, and were just brilliant...but didn't have Jesus in their lives. The part that he struggled with was the thought that God would send this precious lives to eternal damnation. How could such incredibly passionate and beautiful people not get into heaven? This thought drove Russell to weaping every time he brought it up. It was incredible.

I was touched and impacted by my two hours spent on Queen street, sitting on freezing cement with a homeless man, Friday night. He told me several times throughout the night that I was a protector, a solid rock to support people, and that I was strong. It was so incredible. These were the exact words that I know God has been trying to tell me over the last little while, but have been refusing to hear. But through the mouth of a man who lived on the street..the Lord touched my heart in a very real way.

Russell kept apologizing as he felt that he was getting us depressed, or bringing us to a "dark place", but words kept failing us as we tried to thank him and describe to him what an incredible, passionate, person he was, and how God was speaking through him.

I could go on and on for hours more about my conversation with Russell. About the things that touched me, and the incredible way God is using him, but I'll stop here. It was one of the most beautiful experiences I've ever had in my life, and he is one of the most passionate and incredible people that I have ever had the privledge of knowing and the honour of having a conversation with.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about Russell since last night. I pray that if it is God's will, we will run into him again.

One final thought. Something Russell asked Sharon and I near the end of our conversation. He said.."what happens next?" He meant, after our conversation...now what? What else do we do? We gave him food, we gave him company, and we shared Jesus with him. What comes next? Sharon and I looked at each other, not sure of how to answer the question, and then Russell went on to another topic that had just popped into his head. But thats the question I leave you with, because I still don't know. What happens next?

Mission Jamaica 2005

Only nine days left before the trip...HOLY GEEZ!!!

The Mission trip that has been in the planning process and thoughts of many for the past several months, is coming up soon..and fast!

On January 23, I am apart of a team of 40 Salvation Army folk who are heading down to Kingston Jamaica for two weeks. We are going to be rebuilding the Salvation Army, Childrens School for the Blind, that was severely damaged when the hurricane hit several months ago. We will be living in the compound that the school is in and working from literally sun up to sun down.

This is my first time going on a mission trip, outside of Canada...and I'm starting to get nervous!! I think my biggest fear about it all, is the flight. It's actually only about a 4 hour flight, which isn't long at all, and I've flown for that long plenty of times going out to BC. BUT...me and flying still don't mix. One of my biggest fears in life actually!

I am getting excited about it all though. I'm looking the most forward to getting to spend time with the kids. We will be working long hours, and really hard core, but hopefully I'll get a lot of chances just to talk to the kids who attend the school that we will be working and living at.

Pretty much the reason for this post though is for a prayer request.

We need prayer for safety for our team..for the flights there and back, but also while we are there. There will be a lot of guys working some serious power tools, spending long hours on roofs, and the whole bit, so prayer for the safety of the team is much needed!

As well, please pray for unity for the team. The only people who I know closely will be my dad and sister who are also coming on the trip. But prayer for the team to stay strong together would be greatly appreciated!

Pray for the mission as a whole. That the work that is planned to get done in these two weeks that we are going, will get done. Pray that we will touch lives and the light of God will shine from us to all though around!

Finally, please pray for me. For me to stay strong on the flight (especially during turbulence..eek!), and that God will use me on this mission trip.

Thanks!!

Laughter & Hope

You know those places that you visit or spend time at that just feel like home? The places where you feel loved, understood, relaxed, you laugh a LOT, and you just...fit. I have two of those places. One is Saskatchewan, and the other is Camp Wabana. Although they are very different, filled with completely different surroundings and people, I fit in both of these places.

This weekend I spent Friday night to Saturday night at our camp reunion up at Wabana. What a fabulous time!! It turned out to be a weekend with the girls, as we all seemed to be inseparable the entire weekend. We spent Friday night eating junk food, talking about boys (ironically..not about boys who any of us liked..but rather boys who drove us nuts! haha) and watching Ella Enchanted on Jill's laptop. Saturday we kept up tradition and made a trip to good ol' Giant Tiger. After running around in the snow playing a game of "Golden Nuggets" about 12 or so of us ended up back in the cabin crammed in and sprawled out in one of the rooms. We ended up wasting a good hour or more doing some hairbrush/water bottle karoke, as Cinderella and I provided most of the entertainment. It was definitly some serious bonding time for us girls!!

Due to the fact that we had maybe four hours of sleep, a lot of the weekend was a blur. But what I do remember clearly is how much I laughed!! I'm coming to the conclusion that laughing is one of my favourite things in life! It gives me one of the best feelings in the world, and always makes my day. And this weekend was definitly full of it, and certainly what I needed!!

On Friday night we had a little worship service in club freshie. While we were worshiping I was just thinking about how much so many of the people in the room with me had grown. Spidey and Squeaker were leading the worship...and as I thought about it, it just completely filled my heart with joy and pride. In my first two summers, I met and got to know Spidey, Squeaker, G-Funk and Flame. I have different relationships with each of these guys, in various degrees, but each of them mean a ton to me. When I met them, they were just boys..kids really (and each of them at least a foot shorter then they are now haha)..getting their first real job at a summer camp. Their faith in God was small, if it was there at all, and they saw the world with such an immature outlook. But as I sat in the room Friday night, and looked around to each of them, my eyes just filled with tears. Spidey and Squeaker were at the front of a room of people, singing and praising God straight from their hearts. Spidey would regularly stop to pray and just encourage others to set their focus on God. And Squeaker...oh I love when that boy sings! It's straight from the heart and just bursting with passion for his Saviour! And then I was thinking about G-Funk, who this past summer was one of the most incredible male cabin leaders I've ever seen!! Words can't describe how proud I was of him this summer, and how he was with his campers. He went from being like a kid brother to me at camp, to a cabin leader who I looked at with pride and respect! And then my boy Flame. I remember my first summer how he would ride around on his bike, and stop at my cabin to talk to me. And he too has gone from a little ldp, to someone who is now seeking God and has just become such a good friend. All four of these boys have gone above and beyond where I would have expected them to go. And the best part about it is...it's not done yet! They still have so far to go, which only means that God has even better things in store for them and their potential hasn't even begun to show yet!

It all just really got me thinking about how everything and anything is possible in the Lord. Within the past 4/5 years I know each of these guys have had their ups and downs, and serious struggles in their lives...but I praise God for the work He is doing and will continue to do in them!! It just reminded me that we can't ever give up hope. No one is EVER beyond the reach of the Lord..EVER. Look for the potential in everyone. View them from the Lord's eyes. Encourage those who no one else see's potential in...you may be the one person who shines God into their lives. This is true whether you're talking to kids at camp, your peers, people you've just met, and even adults who are older then you. Age is not a factor to God...whether they are 5 or 50, there is always hope..there is always the opportunity for God to use them and mold them into something absolutly beautiful and spectacular.

One final thought. My chickita, Lola just started a blog, so check her out!!

And those are just my random thoughts from my weekend...and I'm tired...so I think it's time for bed...

Kids LIFELINE of Hope

THQ launched a national appeal by the Youth and Childrens department. It's called Kids Lifeline of Hope .

Check it out!

Can't give up now

There will be mountains
That I will have to climb
And there will be battles
That I will have to fight

But victory or defeat
It's up to me to decide
But how can I expect to win
If I never try

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
And I don't believe He brought me this far to leave me

Never said there wouldn't be trials
Never said I wouldn't fall
Never said that everything would go
The way I wanted it to go

But when my back is against the wall
And I feel all hope is gone
I just lift my head up to the sky
And say help me to be strong

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
And I don't believe He brought me this far to leave me

No, You didn't bring me out here to leave me lonely
Even when I can't see clearly
I know that You are with me, so I can't...

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
And I don't believe He brought me this far to leave me

-Mary Mary

Name the Animals

I have just been re-reading some points I marked off in "Searching for God Knows What" by Donald Miller, and I came across this part that I wanted to share.

"...I noticed that Adam and Eve didn't meet right away. Moses said God knew Adam was lonely or incomplete or however you want to say it, but God did not create Eve directly after he stated Adam was lonely. This struck me as funny because a lot of times when I think about life before the Fall, I don't think of people going around lonely. But that thought also comforted me because I realized loneliness in my own life doesn't mean I am a complete screwup, rather that God made me this way. You always picture the perfect human being as somebody who doesn't need anybody, like a guy on a horse out in Colorado or whatever. But here is Adam, the only perfect guy in the world, and he is going around wanting to be with somebody else, needing another person to fulfill a certain emptiness in his life. And as I said, when God saw this, He did not create Eve right away. He did not give Adam what he needed immediately. He waited. He told Adam to name the animals."

So, from reading this text, two thoughts come across my mind that I am going to share

The first is how Donald mentioned he takes comfort in knowing that Adam felt lonely. This is something that I had never thought of before. In these past few months, I have been struggling off and on with the feelings of loneliness, and if it is a weakness on my part to be desiring close friends, and eventually (way down the road) a husband. But Adam, the very first man to walk the earth, and he was without sin (before the fall), had a desire to be with someone. God created us to need and want companionship, community and relationships. I definitly take comfort in that! To know that I'm not being weak by desiring companionship is a great relief...and once again coming to the realization that God created me the way I am for a reason

The second thought that I dwelled on was that Adam did not get Eve straight away. This is something else I had never noticed before. God told Adam to go and name the animals. Donald Miller goes on to emphasis how long a process that must have actually have been...naming the animals. Donald guesses that it must have taken Adam a year just to name the snakes, and over a hundred years to name all the animals. I don't know how accurate a guess that is, but it definitely puts it into perspective! It then goes on in the book to talk about Adam receiving his companion...

"So here was this guy who was intensely relational, needing other people, and in order to cause him to appreciate the gift of companionship, God has him hang out with chimps for a hundred years. It's quite beautiful, really. God directed Adam's steps so that when He created Eve, Adam would have the utmost appreciation, respect, and gratitude....God made Adam work for so long because there is no way, after a hundred years of being alone, looking for somebody whom you could connect with in your soul, that you would take advantage of a woman once you met one. She would be the most precious creation in all the world, and you would probably wake up every morning and look at her and wonder at her beauty, or the gentle, silent way she sleeps."

A lot of times we become impatient, angry, and frustrated attempting to wait on God's timing in our life. For so many of us, waiting for the Mr/Mrs "right" could be one of the hardest things to be patient about and completely trust to God. But aren't some things just worth the wait? Especially if God wants to make sure you are going to appreciate the true gift that He is going to give to you?

Maybe the aspect of a future wife/husband isn't an issue at all for you, for whatever reason. But is there something else you're having difficulty trusting to God? Something you want now because you "need" it and just can't wait another day for things to happen your way? Is God telling you to go and name the animals, but you are refusing to obey?

God Bless 2005

Lord God, I place this new year in Your hands. Let every second, every moment, every breath be dedicated to You!! Jesus great things are unfolding in Your name, and this is only the beginning!! Unleash the passion in the hearts of Your children!! Ignite the flames in the souls of all the believers!! We dedicate this year to You Lord Jesus! In Your name incredible things are going to happen!! God I am so excited, I haven't been able to stop smiling and laughing since the stroke of midnight!! Jesus You are beautiful! Let Your will be done this year! Time is a gift from You Lord, and I dedicate it all back to You!! I am but Your humble servant, ready to be used for Your ministry Lord!! God I place in Your hands our church, our community, and our nation Jesus! You are far greater then all of these and can bring healing to the masses! I commit this year to You Lord God!!
In Your precious and holy name!
Amen

God's Eye View

"At times, the only way God can give you His view of your situation is to make you throw down everything that supports and encourages your view of life and ministry."

"If you feel trapped in your own private wilderness, don't be surprised if God says, 'Why don't you just throw down the final stick of your strenth and give it all to me? You can't do it on your own anyway, so what do you have to lose? Dare to trust me.' "

"When he has become your first desire, everything else becomes possible."

"Are you looking at Him? Or are you looking at your problems, the might of your enemy, or the size of your obstacle? Are you looking at the waves or the wave Maker? When things get tough, do you move closer to Him, or run away from Him?"

A Circus of Redemption

"Do you know what Paul said about the stuff he wrote and taught? He said he didn't write with big and fancy words to try to impress people; rather, he just told the truth, God's truth, and let that be what it was, powerful and honest, making sense of life."

- Donald Miller, Searching for God Knows What

The Good Book

I've been pondering over something the last couple of days so I thought that I would share it.

Technology is always advancing, always getting better, faster, and smarter. It seems as soon as you buy the "latest" of a cell phone, tv, computer or dvd player, something even better comes out the next day. We want to keep up with the times, be trendy and hip and relevant.

A couple of weeks ago I went to Mitchells Christian Book Store, to do some Christmas shopping. While I was there I ran into Amy and we talked and walked around the store together for a bit. When we got to where the Bible section was, we were amazed at how many different versious there are now. There are literally dozens apon dozens of "modern" translations of the good book. There are serveral different versions now in magazine form, hoping to be relevant to the trendy teen. And the "Message" version of the Bible is now in a smaller form, which comes in a cool tin lunch box style case. It is also now selling as the "energy" Bible..with the pages being split in half, with NIV on one side, and the Message version on the other.

I know that it is important for people to be able to find a Bible that they enjoy reading. But doesn't it seem like we're getting caught up with the whole always needing something relevant, trendy, and cool? How many different versions do we actually need to have? Are we getting to the point where we're watering down what the original message was intended to say and reading too much into it all?

Growing up within a Christian family I have tons of Bibles that I was given over the years. But really, I hardly looked at or used any of them. I actually only use a Bible that I was given when I was 14. It's actually a youth walk Bible..and although I'm not a teen anymore, I've kindof grown attached to it and I'm reluctant to get a new one. But do we need to have a different Bible for every stage of our life? Do we need a Bible for every different relevant and modern translation that is out there??

These are just my thoughts...any others?

What do we really want?

"Jesus was always, and I mean always, talking about love, about people, about relationship, and He never broke anything into steps or formulas. What if, because we were constantly trying to dissect His message, we were missing a blatant invitation? I began to wonder if becoming a Christian did not work more like falling in love than agreeing with a list of true principles. I had met a lot of people who agree with all those true principles, and they were jerks, and a lot of other people who believed in those principles, but who also claimed to love Jesus, who were not jerks. It seems like something else has to take place in the heart for somebody to become a believer, for somebody to understand the gospel of Jesus. It began to seem like more then just a cerebral exercise. What if the gospel of Jesus was an invitation to know God?

Earthly love, I mean the stuff I was trying to get by sounding smart, is temporal and slight so that it has to be given again and again in order for us to feel any sense of security; but God's love, God's voice and presence, would instill our souls with such affirmation we would need nothing more and would cause us to love other people so much we would be willing to die for them. Perhaps this is what the apostles stumbled apon."

-Donald Miller, Searching for God knows what

Fear of commitment?

Commitment. Relationships. Community.

These are all words that have come up a lot recently in conversations I've been having with people.
Seems like this is the key..the missing link..what we need to be living the ministry for God.
Yet how many of us actually are living out these themes, instead of just talking about them?

So many people want to be able to commit to something, to feel that they are activity doing God's work, yet this seems to be one of our biggest challenges. Finding where we fit, where our place is, and where we can commit. We want to be in full time ministry, yet we run from things that need our full commitment, in fear that we will get tied down and fill our lives with "stuff." Where do we draw the line? When do we stop moving and finally stick to something in God's name?

"Where you gonna go? Salvation is here..."

We talk about the revival of the Salvation Army...how "our" generation is going to do something huge...that something on a worldy scale is going to take place. How can we expect to be apart of something that big, if we aren't willing to commit to something so small? Like committing to a personal relationship with God, or committing to a church, or committing to the people in our own communities?

Now, community. There's my next thing that I've been struggling with. I know that community is an important part of being a follower of Jesus, because if God wanted us to be alone He wouldn't have given us the ability to build relationships with people, and He would've made us self-sufficient. I know that I can't go down this path alone, and that the Lord will put people into my life that I will need to get me through both negative and positive situations that come along.

But something that I have always struggled with in growing up in the Salvation Army is just the exclusiveness of it all. I know it's nearly impossible to erase all lines of divisions between "groups" of different people, because everyone will always have people in their lives that they are closer to then others. But we have become really good at being exclusive, maybe even...(dare I say it)...snobby. Growing up I stayed away from a lot of church people because I just did not fit the bill of the type of people who were in my age group. Now that I'm older, I can see how incredibly God has changed the lives of so many of those people who I used to stay away from. They are passionate in their relationships with the Lord and wanting to great things. But...exclusiveness can still become a problem. What about those who still don't fit the bill because they aren't as passionate, or don't share the same views as these people?

We naturally want to be with others who will make us comfortable and who share the same views and opinions as us. But I think a part of just being a follow of Jesus, is reaching out beyond what we are comfortable with, and who we are comfortable with.

So..we need a community, people who we trust and can share with, and will help us grow in all areas. But we can't always hope to be in a community that is comfortable, that is just about ourselves.

These are all definitly just my opinions and views, and random thoughts that I have been thinking about from different conversations with people. So what do I see that needs to happen?

I think that we need people who are going to commit. And I'm not saying just in my division of the Army, but where ever it is that God is calling you to..be brave, and commit. And if God isn't calling you to somewhere other then where you are...maybe you need to look around exactly where you are right now. Guaranteed your community could probably use you. Stay strong and don't fall into the trap of filling your time up with "stuff" but instead just allow God to use you however you are needed. Only after we have commitment can we have community, and relationships. How can we hope for relationships with people if we aren't willing to commit to staying in their lives for a given length of time?

Don't just wait for someone "more" passionate to come along before you do something. If you're open to it, and just trust the Lord, you'll be equipped with everything you need for what God might be asking of you.

As my good mate Chris has been telling me (see I can use English slang too haha), we need warriors who want to get into the trenches and get their hands dirty! We need committed soldiers who aren't going to back down when a challenge or stumbling block comes their way.

Are you in or out?

Be My Escape

I’ve given up on giving up slowly
I’m blending in so you won’t even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate.
This one last pull you mention
It’s my one last shot at redemption
Cause I know to live you must give your life away.

And I’ve been housing all this doubt
and insecurity
And I’ve been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me.
And even though there’s no way of knowing
Where to go
I promise I’m goin because…

I gotta get out of here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get out of here
And I’m begging you, I’m begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape.

I’ve given up on doing this alone now
Guess I failed and I’m ready to shown now
You told me the way and now I’m tryin to get there

And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt
and insecurity
And I’ve been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me.
And even though there’s no way of knowing
Where to go
I promise I’m goin because…

I gotta get out of here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake (yeah)
I gotta get out of here
And I’m begging you, I’m begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape.

I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self-detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for you to do what you can with me
But I can’t ask you to give what you already gave.

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt
and insecurity
And I’ve been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
That might be the death of me.
And even though there’s no way of knowing
Where to go
I promise I’m goin because…

I gotta get out of here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get out of here
And I’m begging you, I’m begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape.

I fought you for so long I should have let you win
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were you
So were you.

-Relient K

A fantastic day!

Today turned out to be a busy day! A lot more busy then I had anticipated...but it was jammed packed with good times, so I'm feeling fantastic!

I originally was supposed to be at my church for the whole afternoon helping out with the Sunday school Christmas play. But I was relieved of that duty, much to my excitement, and decided then to head down to the service at 614 in regent park before the program at my church started.

As soon as I walked into the door I was just blasted with blessings, it was wonderful. I couldn't stop smiling from the moment I got there until long after I left. The first blessing was getting to see my girl Tammy, a graduate from the Ignite team from last year, who was up from the U.S visiting for the week. I had no idea that she was going to be there, so seeing her absolutely made my day! It was really really exciting to hear about everything that she's involved with back home. In January she gets to be apart of running a new program that is similar to Ignite, in Georgia. She is so pumped about it, and it is so awesome to see programs like this popping up in more places throughout the Salvation Army!

Shortly after that I ran into my little buddy Nicolas, who is about 2 years old, and I had met Thanksgiving weekend. He is one of the cutest kids that I've ever seen and just gets attached to me whenever I go, so I got to hang out with this little guy all night...which also just brightened up my day.

And then the final blessing, which was the highlight of my weekend, was finding out the 614 kids were doing their Christmas pageant! I absolutely just love the kids in regent park, so getting to see a program they were putting on was just fantastic! It was fairly simple, but filled with such an incredible amount of heart! All of these kids are just so real, so when they do something like this you know it's genuine and straight from their hearts. I loved seeing the guys who were playing the wise men do their part. When the lyrics of the song said "and kings will take off their crowns.." they all took off their paper crowns that they were wearing and knelt down and laid it on the ground in front of them. It was so simple, but so incredible to see. It was evident that these kids knew exactly what Christmas is about and were just surrendering it back to Jesus. Then for the concluding number, all the angels, shepherds and wise men joined together to sing along and dance to "Joyful Joyful" (the version from Sister Act 2) complete with one of the older guys rapping along to the rap that pops up in the middle of the song.

It was just a fantastic night. Something about 614 just fills me with the Holy Spirit, each and every time I go, and tonight was no different. Getting a chance to see about 20 kids tell the Christmas story, and genuinely demonstrate the real reason for this holiday season, absolutely made my Christmas.

December has just flown by (only 5 days left to Christmas...what the?!) and earlier today I was just trying to put myself into the holiday spirit by reminding myself how quickly it's coming, despite my ability to accept it. But tonight is what did it for me. I'm ready for Christmas to come now. I guess sometimes it helps to be able to see Jesus through the eyes of a child.

Blessings this Christmas season!!

Christmas Family Fellowship

Well I just returned home from a fun filled night of hanging out with the fam (a.k.a. the "collective"). There were 15 of us all together at my aunt and uncle's house up at Stouffville and Yonge. It is always an interesting time when we all get together (mostly because we're all loud and have a lot to say, so you can only imagine haha).

My highlights of the evening mostly revolve around my two and a half year old cousin Joseph. He is most definitly the family entertainer, and he knows it! He had me absolutely killing myself laughing when at one point, he let out a huge belch, covered his mouth, and then yelled in a high pitched voice "oh my!" Then he had the whole family splitting their sides when out of no where he started running around the living room, and then the kitchen in circles, yelling "happy dance! happy dance!" and none of us have any idea where he picked this one up! (He's a nut, but he fits right in!)

The most eventful part of our evening though was the gingerbread house making competition. We had two sets of pieces to build two houses, so it turned into a bit of a challenge between two teams. Dionne, Jocelyn and myself took one house, while Donna, Bradley and my Aunt Mel took the other. It got pretty competitive when Bradley tried to sabotage our chimney after theirs wouldn't stay on, and all Di kept yelling was "we need another orange smartie stat!" An icing fight even broke out between multiple people and it became a little bit of a mass chaos. I ended up with more icing on me then was on our gingerbread house, but I have no one to blame but myself as I cut the whole in the icing package just a tad too big.

As our evening died down, we sipped hot apple cider and listened to a recording of "O Holy Nightmare" that my uncle got from someone (it's a man very whole heartedly singing "O Holy Night"..but unfortunately, God did not bless this man with the ability to sing..at all...).

Overal the evening was an awesome one. Just fellowship between family members, and lots of memories and laughs shared. Isn't that one of the greatest things about this holiday season though? Just having an excuse to get together with lots of close family and friends and just enjoy each others company. Something about this time of year gives you that feeling inside that you just want to be close to all those that you love, and spend some good quality time together. It's one of my favourite things that happen at Christmas anyways (next to having an opportunity to celebrate and remember the birth of Jesus Christ of course!)

Does anyone else have any family Christmas stories or traditions they'd like to share? Either from this year or years past? I'd love to hear them, so share away!

This is a picture that I took in the summer of 2000 when I worked at a camp in Saskatchewan. This province has the most beautiful skies that I have ever seen in my life, and I'm continually awed at how gorgeous a place this is every time I go and visit. I just recently came across this picture again, and I absolutly love it because it wasn't until after I got the film developed that I realized there is a cross in the middle of the clouds...and I think it's one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

Steps

"The truth is there are a million steps, and we don't even know what the steps are, and worse, at any given moment we may not be willing or even able to take them; and still worse, they are different for you and me and they are always changing. I have come to belive the sooner we find this truth beautiful, the sooner we will fall in love with the God who keeps shaking things up, keeps changing the path, keeps rocking the boat to test our faith in Him, teaching us to not rely on easy answers bullet points, magic mantras, or genies in lamps, but rather in His guidance, His existence, His mercy and His love."

- Donald Miller, Searching for God Knows What

We shall win with fire and blood!

My Grandpa suggested to me to look up this song, so I thought that I would share it. It's definilty an inspiring one. I bolded the words that stood out to me..but there is still so much more. I'm still taking in all that this song inspired in me. Did it strike up anything in you?

"Pray for liberty in the service of our wondrous, loving Lord" - Bruce Halsey

Jesus, give thy blood-washed Army (Song #593)

Jesus, give thy blood-washed Army
Universal liberty;
Keep us fighting, trusting calmly
For a world-wide jubilee.
Hallelujah!
We shall have the victory.

Thou hast bound brave hearts together,
Clothed us with the Spirit's might,
Made us warriors forever,
Sent us in the field to fight.
In the Army
We will serve thee day and night.

'Neath thy scepter foes are bending,
And thy name makes devils fly;
Captives' fetters thou art rending.
And thy blood doth sin destroy.
For thy glory
We will fight until we die.

Lift up valleys, cast down mountains,
Make all evil natures good;
Wash the world in Calvary's fountain,
Send a great salvation flood.
All the nations
We shall win with fire and blood.

William James Pearson (1832-92)