Have you heard the song "Dare you to move" by Switchfoot? Probably.
This past summer a line in that song really hit me...
"Where can you run to escape from yourself? Where you gonna go? Salvation is here.."
Over the past few months I got thinking of all the amazing opportunities that are out there to learn, and grow and do God's ministry...and then combined with the dislike I've had for living in a huge city my whole life...I just long to get away from Toronto, and to be able to say I'm off somewhere doing something incredible for God. But then I find myself in the circumstances that I'm in..that I'm not called right now to pick up and go somewhere far away...instead...just to stay right where I am...
And finding myself in this situation, I began to get really frustrated, and just find myself wanting to just run away...do something new and incredible. Then God started to speak to me. And I think thats why that line from Switchfoot stuck out to me...Salvation is here. I need to learn to be content with where I'm living, and to find God is the circumstances I'm already in before I go off trying to find it somewhere else. If I can't find who I am in my relationship with God right where I am right now...I never will.
I think my biggest struggle has been learning to get unattached to the relationships with people that I became so close to over the past 8 months or so, and learn to rely, instead, completely on God. And I was kindof thrown into the situation of needing to depend on God alone as a lot of people who I've become so dependent on this year are now really far away, working on their own ministries and going in the directions that God is calling them.
So I know what I have to do.
In writing, it looks so simple.
Find Salvation right where I am...and depend on God alone.
Nothing has been harder for me these past two months.
I've been so bitter...at the people who are still here, at the limited view I have on my future and God's plans for my life...and even just at Toronto itself, and for having to stay here another year.
But thats slowly starting to fade.
I'm slowly but surely getting back on track.
Today I found myself, travelling on the TTC, just trying to appreciate the city itself that I'm living in...and the many opportunities I have right here to allow my relationship with God to grow, and to do His work.
I have to get back to appreciating the simple things...the important things...and to trusting God with absolutly everything. I can't be a luke warm Christian, or one that doubts at the first sign of difficulty if I ever want to be completely surrendered to God.
God has me where I am for a reason. He has a plan for this year. I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt.
I guess thats all I need to know right now....
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