Happy Halloween!

Only two sleeps left till Halloween

Well, it's only 8:30, but I am definitely ready for bed!!

Just got home from an amazing day in Regent. I think we had the best day of squads that I've had in a very long time.

(And can I say I am loving this random beautiful day of sunshine and warm weather!)

Kanga and I were afraid of mass chaos happening this morning for our squad, as we always seem to be short on leaders, and we had one kid coming who we hadn't seen since the Spring and our memories of her are far from wonderful. So, while on prayer walk last night, we took a few minutes to pray over this particular child, and also that things would run well.

And God definitely answered our prayers! This morning between the two squads that we run together, we had 25 kids show up...BUT we also had a splendid 7 leaders come to help us out! Praise the Lord!! And the result was a slight bit of chaos...but the kind that is fun and manageable. The program ran without a hitch really..and we got in a crazy game of dress up the leader, caramel apple making, and some pumpkin carving. (Check out the pix on my MSN space..link below.) And, much to our astonishment...our one child that we had dreaded coming...behaved beautifully. It was actually really great to see her again, and she shocked us all with an ability to listen to instructions...the first time they were asked!! (A miracle in itself...).

Then after an hour and a half break...we were on to the next squad. This one as well, ran incredibly. Within this particular group we have so many diverse and "strong" personalities displayed in the kids, there's always the fear in the back of our minds that at any second mass mayhem is going to break out. But...incredibly, everyone got along with one another...every kid showed up in a stunning Halloween costume...there was TONS of laughter...the kids started and sang grace at dinner all on their own (good ol' Johnny Appleseed)...and Mark (Igniter) successfully carved his first pumpkin!

Definitely a day that reminds me why I am involved in such a beautiful and vibrant children's ministry in Regent Park. It continues to blow my mind and melt my heart when I see such tough acting, thick skinned youth, too cool for anything...revert back into real children who give an endless amount of hugs, play ridiculous simplistic games, and laugh..a lot. All because of the love, passion and devotion that the folk from 614 pour into their lives in the name of the Lord. God is good.

Happy Birthday Christopher!!

Happy 19th dude!!

Growing up so fast...

Just two months left...

Where is the time going? When I made the decision to leave the country it seemed like it would be ages until the end of December actually came...but alas, time is flying by. Now I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that the 23 hour plane ride goes by just as fast...

I'm finding it harder and harder to get myself in the mode of getting ready to leave for a long journey away from home. Getting my mind into the perspective that the people who I love and I am closest to, I won't be seeing for a very long time. I'm caught in some cases of wanting to distance myself to make it easier for when I do leave, but in the same thought wanting to spend as much time as possible to cherish the next two months that I have in Canada. It's also been a lot harder then I thought it would be to try and stay in good standing with all my family and friends, to make sure that I won't be leaving with any bitter feelings or unresolved issues. Well, not so much as being harder then I thought...but more then I didn't really expect the issues to come up that have been coming up. But you live and learn...

Although I've always disliked the idea of a big city, despite always living in Toronto...recently I'm finding a new appreciation for the area I do live in. I realized on a prayer walk last Friday night how much time I've wasted looking beyond my neighbourhood to do things for God, and turning a blind eye to my immediate surroundings. I've travelled into the heart of downtown Toronto lots of times in efforts to meet people living on the streets, or spent a lot of time in Regent park building relationships or joining in their prayer walks. But last Friday I joined the East Toronto crew as we took a stroll up Danforth and took some time to pray for the area. It totally hit me in a new and different way as we took the time to pray for a bar that I've actually spent time in hanging out with friends back in highschool...and prayed right by Main station, where I have been travelling through with TTC nearly my entire life...and prayed for the community that I have been living in for the past 22 years. It really hit me hard how all too often I'm looking beyond a broken community that I in fact live in, to try and find ways for God to use me. It was definitely an awakening experience...and also a good reminder for me that there will be a reason for me to come home again after Australia, because my own community still needs God in a big way.

Just to finish off...here's a couple short video clips of the cutest three year old in life...

Toes

Jesus Loves Me

Blessings!

My sister is all grown up

Happy four month anniversary Donna and Tim!!

Finally Canadian

Congrats Sara Bright on FINALLY getting permanent residency in Canada!!

Now you can finally get paid for all that hard work you've been doing!

Praise the Lord..He is good.

Blessings!

The battle of humility...

"What do you say When it's all gone away?

Baby I didn't mean to hurt you...

Truth spoke in whispers will tear you apart

No matter how hard you resist it

It never rains when you want it to

You humble me Lord

Humble me Lord

I'm on my knees empty

You humble me Lord

You humble me Lord

Please, please, please forgive me"

On my way...

Praise the Lord...I got my Immigration Visa for Australia!! And it only took two weeks!

It makes the fact that I'm leaving in just over two months a little bit more real now that I know I can legally be in Australia for a year!

God is good!

"Where I cannot see, I'll trust"

Saturday night I had the privledge of attending a very beautiful covenant service with 614. Throughout the evening my heart was stirred as God spoke into my life and revealed some new truths to me.

"Humbled by Your Majesty,

Forgiven so that I can forgive..."

I came to realize how proud a person I am. I think it's a hard thing for me to admit that I'm wrong. Not just in terms of proving a point in a discussion or debate with someone...but I have difficulties accepting the fact that I am capable of hurting someone's feelings without realizing it. Recently I had an old friend confess that I had hurt them in the past, and because of that they didn't think very much of me. Instead of humbling myself and apologizing...I argued. I gave reasons, excuses and pointed out in a very wordy speech that I wasn't the one to blame, and there was a logical explanation as to why feelings had been hurt and why we weren't friends anymore.

I realized Saturday night what a proud person I am and the difficulties I have in admitting that I have done wrong and require the forgiveness from someone that I may have hurt...unintentionally or otherwise. I think this is a hard thing for me to overcome and completely change...but I am glad to have been made aware of it and hope to continue to improve and have God keep me accountable.

"Your grace has found me just as I am..

Empty handed but alive in Your hands..."

During the course of the service on Saturday we had put in our hand a mustard seed, and a few beads of yeast. The parable of the mustard seed and yeast was read from the Bible, and we were asked to consider this passage. We were to think of any hopes and dreams that we have...however small and insignificant they seemed, and then to turn to someone beside you and spend some time talking about these dreams and praying about them.

"There must be more than this..."

As I began to think over this passage and apply to myself, I became a bit scared. I realized that although I have the next step of my life planned out to go to Australia...beyond that I am completely clueless. I have this burning desire to be used by God...to be useful to His ministry, and to not waste my life. But what exactly that means, or where my life is going...I really have no idea. My friend who I talked to shared similar fears as me, and also just wanted to be of some use to God, and not just a waste of space. So we took a few moments as we shed some tears to pray into each other reassurance and confidence that yes, God does have a use for our lives.

It's a scary thing to realize that you have no control over your life, and you have no idea in what direction your life is going after this exact moment. But it's also such a beautiful comfort to know that all we need is a mustard seed of faith...and God WILL use that. The tiny little seed that I had sitting in the palm of my hand...that's it...that's all God needs.

"And where I cannot see I'll trust..."

Sunday morning at my church, I heard a very good sermon that seemed to bring conclusion to what God was speaking to me at the covenant service the night before.

Obedience.

I don't know the step beyond the one I'm about about to take in two months. But I definitely need to trust God with what is beyond that. It's as if God is holding a flash light out for me as I walk in a dark place. He doesn't use a flood light and show me everything that is upcoming in my life. Instead he shines a little flashlight right in front of my feet..shining the light bright enough for me to see my next step. I need to trust that as I take this one...God will then reveal to me the step that is beyond that.

I do have a fear of moving on, and I'm discouraged by the things that are unknown. I have a fear of not having enough money for Australia. I have a fear of becoming broken and unusable to God while trying to learn and grow in a country far away from my family and friends. I have a fear of returning home and not being talented enough or smart enough to be involved in ministry taking place in Toronto. And I have a fear of an unknown future.

But I do know...that unless I take this step that's right in my immediate future...I won't know what God has in store for me beyond that. I need to trust the unknowns to God..and remember to enjoy the journey.

Prayer Request

Time seems to be flying by until I go to Australia...and it's now only 77 days until I leave.

A lot of things have been really just coming into place so wonderfully with the grace of God, and that has been really awesome. I do still have a huge prayer request though.

My biggest anxiety right now is money. It's been increasingly difficult to try and save money up that I'll need for the next year in Australia. It's been a lot more expensive then I thought it would be to pay for the plane ticket, health insurance, apply for the immigration visa and other things that seem to keep popping up. I am really needing to just trust it all to God that He is going to provide the means for me to have money saved up because I'm definitely running out of my own options.

So prayer to be able to just trust this issue to God, and prayer that He'll find a way to provide all the money that I need, is definitely needed and would be hugely appreciated.

Blessings.

Gobble Gobble

Happy Thanksgiving!

I had a nice reminder today of how thankful I am for my family. We're a crazy bunch, but I love them.

I especially realized how thankful and blessed I am for my three younger siblings. After stuffing ourselves with my Grandma's delicious turkey, my two sisters, brother and I all squished onto the same couch together. I think we all had the intention of a nap...but it became a difficult task as all four of us were trying to use one another as leg rests...and because we were all over tired and being extremely ridiculous. But it was just a wonderful reminder of how much I love each of them, and the laughs and smiles that they bring into my life. It's definitely going to be a hard one saying goodbye to them for a year!

Praise God for all the reasons he gives us to be thankful.

Blessings!

Make Poverty History : National Day of Action in Toronto

Click on the picture to read the flyer.

"When I look at the stars...I feel like myself"

I think that most people have a place that they can retreat to...or somewhere that they can go and sit just to have a moment of sanity.

Mine is either to take a walk down to Taylor Creek and climb a tree (as funny as that sounds...), or just to go and hide in my room.

I have to tell you, I absolutely love my room, and I see it as one big huge work of art. I've been living in this make shift basement bedroom for the last 8 years or so, and have built up quite the assortment of a decorations, keep sakes, traffic signs, and random odds and ends. I'm a "pack-rat" by nature, and looking at my room...this is a very evident fact.

I think that one of my favourite parts of my room is the ceiling. One of the first things I did when I moved into the basement and set up my bedroom was stick a whole wack of those dollar store glow in the dark stars up. It was a long process as I didn't have a ladder and was forced to get creative in order to get the entire ceiling evenly covered with them...but 8 years later, they're still up there.

Originally I stuck them up there just to make sure that every inch of my bedroom had something covering it making it stand out a bit more. But now, I think I find something slightly beautiful and comforting looking at the glowing stars on my ceiling right before I fall asleep each night.

Six years ago, I began my summers of working at camp and spent two months at the Salvation Army Beaver Creek Camp, just outside of Saskatoon in Saskatchewan. It was by far one of the best summers of my life, and it was there that I realized I wanted to spend my life working with kids. I made some incredible friends that summer, one being the wonderful Dayla Halverson (well Dayla Beveridge now!). As the summer was coming to a close, Dayla and I shared many tears as we realized how far apart we would be once I went back home to Toronto. At the camp, we often laid on the trampoline and watched the night sky for hours, totally taken in by the Northern Lights. Dayla and I realized that even though we would be really far apart...we both would still be looking up at the same sky (sounds like a song from American Tail...). So, we picked a star that shines really brightly just over the saucer of the Big Dipper...and re-named it the "Dayla-Esther Star" (creative I know!). That way, whenever we missed each other, we could look up at that star, and know that wherever the other was, they could see that star too. When I got home that summer, I re-arranged the stars on my ceiling a bit, and formed the Big Dipper, complete with the "Dayla-Esther Star," so that when I lay down every night I can look up and see it shining right above my bed.

Next to sunsets, I think that the night sky is one of the most incredible and beautiful natural works of art that the Lord has blessed us with. It's one of those things, that when you're feeling lost, or unsure, you can just take a moment to stop and just bask in the glory that is God. It's just another reminder to me that when things are put into the Lords hands...they WILL turn out beautiful.

"I've been thinking about everyone, everyone you look so lonely...
But when I look at the stars...when I look at the stars...
When I look at the stars...I see someone else.
When I look at the stars...the stars...I feel like myself. "

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY BRADLEY!!

I can't believe my baby brother is 17! I feel so old!

Thank you for always being there for me, always taking care of me in tough times, always understanding me (even when other ppl don't!) and always putting a smile on my face! You're the best brother an older sister could ask for!

But happy birthday buddy, and I hope you've had a wonderful day! MUAH!

Hey, Hey....Hey Beautiful Day!

It's been a beautiful day!! What can I say?

First off, if you haven't heard the song "Night fill my song" (Hey Beautiful Day) by Bedouin Soundclash, you need to. It's definitely been my song of the day, and I refuse to believe there is any way that you can not have a smile on your face and a tapping foot while listening to this tune!

It's been a day stuffed full of fantastic events, and I'm definitely giving God all the glory for that!

As most people know I've been trying to think of ways to come up with some extra money, as I'm planning my trip to Australia. Well, today, two totally separate things came up for me to make a bit of money, and I'm very excited about that! Both in their different ways were answered prayers, and I'm thankful to God for the little reassurances that He keeps giving me, that it's all going to work out!

I also got down to Regent Park today, and visited some kids that will be in my squads that start up in a few weeks. I've been down to Regent a couple times for church since the end of summer, but I haven't had a chance to just walk around in the Park...and I hadn't realized how much I missed it! Throughout my walk I randomly saw about a half dozen kids at various spots, who stopped to either give me a hug, a smile, or just a "hi Pippi!" and a wave from across the parking lot. I only ended up seeing three out of the ten squad kids that I needed to visit, but the other random meetings definitely made my day, and put a smile on my face!

I also had the opportunity to head out to Newmarket and meet up with the beautiful Sam Nolan (a.k.a Capizzio).

I definitely miss my girls from camp, so it was so awesome to get a chance to chat and catch up with this crazy cat! Of course our discussion was quite serious and full of very important issues...such as deciding that Cappi will run Camp Wabana next summer in my place and make all the children dance for hours in the quad wearing a crazy hat, and only one shoe...just one...not two...just one.

Honestly, Sam, you are one of the most beautiful people I know, with such an incredible soul. Don't you dare ever stop dancing, shouting random words, and just being you. Don't let anyone EVER make you feel less then what you are (and what you are is a princess of your Father in Heaven!!) and don't ever lose your passion for God and for serving others!! Chicky, you're an inspiration in my life..don't ever change!!

Tonight my dad arrived home for a two day work trip down to Detroit where he was learning about some new machines or something equally interesting. And something very exciting..he arrived home with presents!! I definitely am the proud new owner of a Mr. Incredible Pez Dispenser...love it!

And, final fantastic event of the day. Brace yourself for it.....I HAVE A CREDIT CARD! As excited as I am that someone finally trusts me with one (I definitely did a dance around the living room), this is another little answer to prayer, and it's something that I now get to check off my list of things I need to get before going to Australia in 3 months. God is good!

So ends my beautifully fantastic day.

Thank you Lord for all the small, yet beautiful moments you bring every day into our lives. May we take the time to notice something fantastic about each day that you bless us with.

Blessings!!

Scott Michael Masuda

This is my new baby cousin, Scott Michael Masuda, with his proud daddy!! He was born today, at 2:45pm, and in this picture he's only an hour old! Congrats Auntie Mel and Uncle Mike!

Blessings!

The Shadow Proves the Sunshine

Sunshine, won't you be my mother
Sunshine, come and help me sing
My heart is darker than these oceans
My heart is frozen underneath

We Are crooked souls trying to stay up straight
Dry eyes in the pouring rain,
While the shadow proves the sunshine,
The shadow proves the sunshine

Too scared that I'll run always
Hold fast till the brink of daylight where,
The shadow proves the sunshine,
The shadow proves the sunshine

O, Lord, why did you forsake me?
O, Lord, don't be far away
Storm clouds gathering beside me
Please Lord, don't look the other way

I am a crooked soul trying to stay up straight
Dry eyes in the pouring rain
Where the shadow proves the sunshine,
The shadow proves the sunshine

Too scared that I'll run always
Hold fast till the brink of daylight where,
The shadow proves the sunshine,
The shadow proves the sunshine

We're crooked souls trying to stay up straight
Dry eyes in the pouring rain
Where the shadow proves the sunshine,
The shadow proves the sunshine

Too scared that I'll run always
Holds fast till the brink of daylight where,
The shadow proves the sunshine,
The shadow proves the sunshine

Yeah, yeah...the shadow proves the sunshine
Shine on me...the shadow proves the sunshine
Shine on me...the shadow proves the sunshine

Let my shadows prove the sunshine

Simply this...

This is a picture of my cat and dog that I took last night. Normally they are fighting, hissing and growling at one another if they're in close proximity...but even if just for a moment, they let down their guard and just sat chillin, enjoying each others company. I love those simple moments.

On Sunday, at the beginning of my Jr class that I teach at church, I announced to my kids that I was leaving at the end of December to go to Australia. To my surprise, that was met with a lot of disappointment and frowns, as they informed me that I wasn't allowed to leave as they would miss me too much. I love those simple reminders.

Today, at work, one of my girls found out that she gets to go on a visit to see her Dad and Grandma this weekend for the first time in a few months. She was so full of joy that she cried, and the frown that had been on her face all day, lifted and was replaced by a beautiful smile. I love those simple feelings of happiness.

On my way home from work, I crossed Eglinton on my way to Kennedy Station. As I walked across the road, the crossing guard showed me a big smile and said "have a great evening, okay?" and I smiled too because I knew he was sincere and it uplifted my heart. I love those simple smiles.

On the subway, I watched as an elderly lady sat down next to a complete stranger. The elderly lady explained in honest admiration "I love those sandals! Where did you get them?" I watched as the sandal lady beamed and proudly showed off her bright, shimmery lime green shoes to the inquiring stranger. I love those simple compliments.

Tonight I attended a beautiful youth service, in which the youth pastor boldly spoke about the love God had for each and every one of the 25 youth who were sitting in front of her. "He's going to love you..and He's NEVER going to break your heart!" I saw that not only were these words heard by the youth...but they were believed. I love simple love.

Make Poverty History - Dear Mr. Goodale....

I recieved this email today. Give it a read through, and if you feel that you would like to participate in the actions to Make Poverty History, then just copy the letter that follows, into an email, and send it out. Every little bit helps.

Blessings.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for your actions to Make Poverty History.

Today we are asking you to please send a letter to Minister of Finance Ralph Goodale, with a copy to Canada’s representatives to the World Bank and International Monetary Fund prior to their upcoming annual meetings. Urge them to make every effort to ensure that the G8 DebtCancellation proposal is strengthened, not weakened, so the needs of the world’s poorest people are not ignored.

Please send the following letter, adapt it or draft your own, to:

Ralph Goodale, Minister of Finance at

Financergoodale@fin.gc.ca

Please CC: Marcel Massé, Canadian Executive Director at the WorldBank at

mmasse@worldbank.org

Kevin Lynch, Canadian Executive Director at the International Monetary Fund at

klynch@imf.org

Thank you for helping Make Poverty History!
Liz Bernstein and the Make Poverty History team
**********************************************************************************
FROM: _________

TO:The Honorable Ralph Goodale, Minister of Finance

Financergoodale@fin.gc.ca

CC: Marcel Massé,
Canadian Executive Director at the World Bank
mmasse@worldbank.org

Kevin Lynch,
Canadian Executive Director at the International Monetary Fund
klynch@imf.org

SUBJECT: Make Poverty History
IMPORTANCE: Highest

Dear Mr. Goodale,

I am writing to you to call on you as Canada’s representatives to the World Bank and International Monetary Fund (IMF) to make everyeffort in the coming weeks to ensure that the G8 Debt Cancellation proposal is strengthened, not weakened.

Canada has played a leadership role in the past on debt cancellation issues. We urge you to play this leadership role at the upcoming meetings of the World Bank and IMF and push for a strengthening of the G8 debt deal when it goes for approval by the boards of these institutions this week.

To ensure that poor countries no longer face the crushing burden of their debts, we call on you and the Government of Canada to lead an international movement to:

§ EXTEND the agreement for 100% cancellation of the debts owed to multilateral financial institutions to all impoverished countries that need debt cancellation in order to meet the Millennium Development Goals.

§ ENSURE that countries are free to implement their own national development strategies by ending IMF and World Bank Structural Adjustment Programs.

Now is the moment for bold action. We strongly urge you to seize this moment and play a role that I and other Canadian supporters of the Make Poverty History campaign would be proud of.

Sincerely,

The Setting Sun

I just bought the new Switchfoot CD, and I'm loving it. One song that I'm really enjoying right now, I thought I would share because I think the lyrics are fantastic. Sorry if you're the type of person who hates when people only put song lyrics up as a blog *cough*...but read anyways and enjoy.

I've got a wound that doesn't heal,
Burning out again, burning out again
I'm not sure which of me is real,
I'm alone again, burning out again
My hope runs underneath it all the day that I'll be home

It won't be long,
I belong somewhere past this setting sun
Finally free, finally strong,
Somewhere back where I belong.

They're selling shares of me again,
I'm not buying, it I'm not buying it
My wound goes deeper than the skin,
There's no hiding it, so i'm not trying it
My hope runs underneath it all the day that I'll be home

It won't be long,
I belong somewhere past this setting sun
Finally free, finally strong,
Somewhere back where I belong .

Finally back where we belong
Finally Free It's gonna take you to the setting sun

Lets the weak say I am strong and it won't be long
Let the right say I was wrong and it won't be long
Let us find where we belong, beyond this setting sun
Beyond this setting sun

It won't be long,
I belong somewhere past this setting sun
Finally free, finally strong,
Somewhere back where I belong.