I love...

I love that when I wake up feeling really sad and alone,

...Matt sends me a beautifully perfect text message

...My lovely classmate takes me out for a spontaneous coffee and chat

...My mum answers the phone at 11:30pm just so I can hear a loving motherly voice

...My sister just happens to need my credit card for $5 and ends up listening to me vent for an hour & reminds me that God is bigger then the boogie man

...My inbox has an email from Jeff just to remind me that he loves me and is praying for me

:)

Motivation

I've been challenged on something recently.

While writing in my prayer journal a few nights ago, I concluded with a sentence that included something about my brothers and sisters in Christ. It's a term I've used plenty of times, but in this particular moment it sparked something new for me.

Being so far away from home (Toronto) these past few years has allowed for me to appreciate how much I love and cherish my family. I guess it isn't just since I've been living in Australia, but it has helped to heighten the appreciation. Included within that is how deeply I love my siblings, and how being away can often be hard because I'm just so limited in how I can show them my love, or be there during difficult times.

Anyways, thinking back to my brothers and sisters in Christ...I got pondering about how easily and fully I am capable of loving my siblings. I want to be their protector, their friend, their support, their guide, their encourager, their listening ear...and the list continues. All of that just because I love them and value them and all that they bring to my life. If that is the range and depth I have for my 'blood' brothers and sisters...shouldn't that be a guide to how I love and treat everyone else? My brothers and sisters in Christ? My neighbours? My enemies?

So this has provided me with a real challenge. How do I practically live out a love that I'm capable of having for my siblings, towards everyone else in my life? I am aware of how different relationships with people often effect how we treat and react to people...but I guess what I'm looking more at is the motivation behind it all...the genuine depth to the love...the reason as to why we conduct our actions. It's just been something that has challenged me recently, and has forced me to be aware of how I treat people in my daily life..and what is it that motivates me.

Another point, though somewhat related to the above thought, is that in reference to being created in the image of God. Due to a question I had to study for my theology exam this past semester, it was a topic I had to do a great deal of reading on. It's just an interesting point that if, as a Christian, we believe that we have been created in the image of God...then in a sense all humans carry within them an aspect of that image. I won't get into what exactly I believe it to mean in terms of us being a fallen people and how that may or may not have corroputed this image....but what is interesting to think about is that if we ALL are created in the image of God, then surely this should be enough motivation for us to treat one another with respect, love, and grace? I mean, just the very idea that our 'neighbour' has been created in the image of a great and mighty God, should really give us enough motivation to just love them in all that we do?

Anyways, that was just something I've been pondering about.

Blessings!

Fifteen

Last night, at Shop 16 Reservoir, we enrolled 15 Junior Soldiers. I am still a bit stunned as I replay the scenes of last night in my head.

I believe that I have allowed myself to get in the mind frame over the past year and a bit of severely limiting the power and glory of God, more particularly in regards to how He is working within Reservoir.

When we first decided to be extremely intentional about making sure we shared the Gospel with our kids, and introducing the Junior Soldier pledge and curriculum...honestly, I was nervous. I remember one night as we were concluding squads, some parents came in as they waited for the program to finish. We were doing an activity to memorize part of the JS pledge, and I remember thinking...uh oh. What are they going to think? Well, I was put back in line the next day when I was told that the child of these parents had called in to let us know that she was going to become a JS. More then that, she's become extremely switched on in terms of knowing and loving God and wanting to be an example to everyone in her life. She even stood up at the ceremony last night and proclaimed in front of a packed room full of people that she was becoming a Junior Soldier because she loves God and wants to live a life that is clean.

I am amazed. Maybe I shouldn't be though. Maybe I should have known that God WAS and IS doing a great work within our community. Should I really be surprised when children stand up and say they want to lead a life following the Lord? Probably not. I'm learning though...God is breaking me down with His glory as I learn to humble myself once again and remember that He IS in control and doing incredible things...and that I am absolutely privileged to be a part of His ministry.

About a month ago one of the boys at homework group was sitting in a corner, looking quite sad. As he's normally full of life (and spending free time on the computer) I went over to see what was up. After much prodding and encouragement that I did actually want to hear what was upsetting him, he shared with me that he was very sad. He felt as if he didn't have any friends, and that no one liked him...anywhere, at Shop 16 or school. My heart broke for him and I spent the next few minutes trying to smother him with as much love and encouragement that I could muster.

Last night this boy became one of our 15 Junior Soldiers. After the conclusion of the ceremony, while everyone was eating and mingling, I once again found him sitting alone, with his head bent low. I went over and sat next to him and just said hello. This time, he didn't need any prodding. In a quiet voice he said, "Esther....I'm just so happy. I'm so happy, I think I might cry" and before he had even finished speaking I could see his eyes well up. I was just overcome with joy. I gave him a hug and told him what a very good thing that was! That it was a great thing that he could feel so happy, and that I was so very glad that he was.

In comparison to the amount of children whose lives we are involved with at Shop 16, 15 kids really is just a portion. On the other hand, it's also a really large amount of children to enroll as a Junior Soldier in one night! However, there is no doubt in my mind in regards to the decisions that these kids made last night. On our part, we really didn't need to force, twist arms, or encourage any of these kids to decide to make the decision...it was totally on their own, and with a great deal of enthusiasm that thoroughly surprised me! I am just so grateful that we were able to offer these kids an opportunity to commit themselves to something greater...to allow them the chance to stand up in front of their family and community and say that this is the life they want to lead.

God is awesome, and continues to be doing great things. I just need to make sure I continue to let Him!

Blessings!

What I've learnt recently...

...I hate saying 'no' to people, and I like knowing that I'm a dependable sort of person.

...I get frustrated when people aren't open to new suggestions or ideas, and stay stuck in what they already 'know'.

...it's important to have time off every now and then when you get to stay in your pj's and play video games all day.

...about the inter workings of Genograms.

...that I'm definitely wired to be a children's leader...not so much a youth leader.

...that 10 months still isn't enough time to understand the 'why'.

...I love to talk about my family...and to talk to them even more.

...I'm capable of playing basketball (even if I'm no pro!).

...that keeping my hair straight means I get to sleep in for an extra 10 minutes in the morning.

...that no matter what else is going on in life, spending 5 minutes with the kids in Reservoir will brighten my day.

...that I love my boyfriend.

...that I'm actually getting better at writing essays for uni.

...that looking for a house is a big, and unpredictable, adventure.

...that a dog barking is extremely annoying, but a cat constantly meowing is even worse.

...that I lost 13cm this past month because of going to Curves.

...that life is absurd, but that God is good and still in control.

For my fellow Trekkies out there

My lovely sister sent me the most fantastic email today with a beautiful poem that I thought was worth posting.

Ode to Spot

Felis Cattus, is your taxonomic nomenclature,

an endothermic quadruped carnivorous by nature?

Your visual, olfactory and auditory senses

contribute to your hunting skills, and natural defenses.

I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations,

a singular development of cat communications

that obviates your basic hedonistic predilection

for a rhythmic stroking of your fur, to demonstrate affection.

A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents;

you would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance.

And when not being utilized to aide in locomotion,

it often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.

O Spot, the complex levels of behaviour you display

connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.

And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,

I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.

- Data

A time to build up, and a time to tear down...

I've been meaning to post for the past week or two, and I'm finally getting around to doing it.

Life has continued to be full of it's ups and downs lately..but hey, it keeps things interesting.

I spent today and yesterday as a registrar/book seller for a two-day conference in the city. It's a job I do now and then when it fits into the rest of my schedule, and overall pays pretty good money for a fairly simple day. I took advantage of the times when the seminar was in session (and I had nothing to do) to do some readings for a essay that's due in a week on Ecclesiastes. I did a couple hours worth today, and was left with my head just flooded with different theologians opinions on the "everything is meaningless under the sun" wisdom book of the Old Testament.

Though I haven't quite nutted out the outline of my essay, or what approach I'm going to take, I was left feeling enlightened. Though a reading of Ecclesiastes may leave one feeling quite depressed, and searching for some sort of meaning to be in existence....it put a lot of things into perspective for me.

As the "teacher" who wrote this book explains very honestly, we are all faced with the prospect of death...and we all live "in death's shadow." Doesn't matter who you are....wise or a fool, poor or rich...we will all meet the same end. Now, there are mixed views on whether we should take from this book that in light of death, we need to live life to it's fullest because all we have is this moment....or that life itself is a gift because we have knowledge and wisdom, and those who are dead do not...or that all that matters is that we live a life of wisdom, and not folly, and live having fear of the Lord...or that your riches mean nothing once you've died, but wisdom you can leave behind and pass on.

There's many more ideas, and I didn't do any of those points justice, so please forgive me but I still have much to try and work out from all the thoughts swimming around in my head at the moment. But, as I said, it has put a lot of things into perspective for me.

Life is a gift..and that may be easy to agree with, and it may be used frequently to warm hearts, but seriously take that in for a minute. Stop the complaining...stop the worrying...stop the obsessing over all the material things that you can't take with you...stop indulging in the world to try and fill some need you think you have. Just stop. Life is a gift. Now the question is...do you actually appreciate that gift? This fleeting moment you have on earth...do you appreciate the small joys that God blesses you with every day? Do you remember to thank God every day for the gift of breath?

I think that's all I'll say on that one for the moment.

Just to finish off, kind of a random story that also happened while working at this seminar. Yesterday the seminar leader asked me what I do, and I said I was a student. He asked studying what, and I gave my usual answer of "I'm at a theological college" which usually results in a blank face when speaking to your every day person. But, to my surprise, the conversation just sparked from there. As it turns out, he's a Bible teacher when he's not leading seminars. Later on that day, a lovely lady who was attending the seminar came to chat with me, which resulted in the same question. This time, it turned out that she works at a Christian book store and had lots she wanted to share with me. Then today, a guy was jetting past on his way to the toilets, when he saw that I was doing some reading. This typical looking biker guy, complete with tattoos up and down both arms, asked what I was studying. Once again, turns out that he's a lecturer for theological studies, and knows my school quite well. By the end of today, I have to say I was feeling quite encouraged and baffled! Normally hardly anyone engages me in conversation at these events, and never does it lead to this result! Goes to show I think that God really is everywhere, in all shapes and sizes.

Blessings!

What's love got to do with it

I had a random thought last night as I was drifting off to sleep, and thought I should throw up a blog about it.

Up until very recently, the only time I had been in a relationship where I told the boy that I loved him was when I was 15. Thinking back to that relationship (which was also my first boyfriend), I can remember hanging up the phone one night after a very exciting conversation with the boy, and very giggly explaining to my mum that he had said those 3 magical words to me. At the time I thought her cool and calm response of a nod and smile failed to do justice to how fantastic the situation was....but in hind sight I'm sure she was just trying to contain the laughter at my very silly display.

In the end...that relationship only lasted two months...and one month of that was spent with the boy on holidays with his family (a summer relationship). So, its fair enough to say that this "love" was pretty skin deep and probably more inf actuation then anything else.

The point I think I was wanting to get at is this. Does it really count if you say "I love you" to someone as a teenager? Or do you really know what "love" is if it's your first relationship? Or is there a certain age limit that you have to hit to know what it means to fully experience love?

In reflection of myself, I think that I can safely say I'm in love with someone for the first time in my life. Because I know that he's my best friend, and that it's a love that has grown out of years of growing friendship.

What I think about that other love from when I was 15? I guess summed up, I just didn't know any better. I was (and still am, though I try to repress it) a hopeless romantic and "in love with love" as they say. I thought that all those extreme emotions that started controlling my day to day life upon meeting that 15 year old lad obviously had to be love....and maybe it was on a very small scale. In a very naive immature way that 15 year olds see and experience "love."

I have more thoughts I'm sure, but this is turning out longer then I had intended...but I will leave it open to feedback. Any one else have any other thoughts, stories or pearls of wisdom?

I've had questions

I've been doing a lot of thinking about life in the past couple weeks, as I've been riding a bit of an emotional roller coaster.

During mentoring a couple days ago, we talked about being to 'suffer' in life, but to still be able to worship God. That it's a hard path to go through, but being able to actually worship despite any circumstances or what you're feeling, allows you to reach a whole new level in your relationship with God. The pain and emotion doesn't necessary go away...because what you're feeling and experiencing is just life sometimes....but to be able to pour all of that out to God, exactly how you're feeling, and still be able to praise and worship him...is such a comfort.

We had 36 hour prayer this weekend in Reservoir, and during one of my prayer shifts, a song came on the randomized play list on the ipod that was left in the prayer room. It's a song I've heard many times, and have always enjoyed, but this time meant something all new to me. In it's lyrics it seems to embody all that I've been thinking about recently, as well as my conversation in mentoring on Friday. Maybe it was just the first time that this is where I am in my life so it just hit home.

Anyways, here's the song and the lyrics...

I've Had Questions - Tim Hughes

I've had questions, without answers

I've known sorrow, I have known pain

But there's one thing, that I'll cling to

You are faithful, Jesus You're true

When hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour

When pain surrounds, I'll call You Healer

When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

In the lone hour, of my sorrow

Through the darkest night of my soul

You surround me, and sustain me

My defender, forever more

When hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour

When pain surrounds, I'll call You Healer

When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

I will praise You, I will praise You

When the tears fall, still I will sing to You

I will praise You, Jesus praise You

Through the suffering still I will sing

When hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour

When pain surrounds, I'll call You Healer

When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

I've had questions, without answers

I've known sorrow, I have known pain

But there's one thing, that I'll cling to

You are faithful, Jesus You're true

When hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour

When pain surrounds, I'll call You Healer

When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

I will praise You, I will praise You

When the tears fall, still I will sing to You

I will praise You, Jesus praise You

Through the suffering still I will sing

The continuing mission, to explore strange new worlds...

This past month has been an interesting one. I'm still in limbo, not feeling quite settled as I continue to live out of a suitcase. I had hoped to have housing sorted by the time I started back for my second year at school..but alas, I have my first class this afternoon and housing isn't worked out just yet.

Honestly, it's been a struggle remaining motivated and optimistic. I hadn't anticipated that the process of securing a house would end up taking control over so much of my thinking and my emotions. I realized in the past couple of days that a huge part of that is because part of me feeling 'at home' here in Melbourne, is living in Reservoir. It's the community that I've fallen in love with and want to be in. It's where I want to spend my time, and where I want to commit all my passions and energies. It's not so much the living out of a suitcase and not really having my own room that gets me down the most, it's the commute to Reservoir, and not being able to just be in that community when I wake up and go to bed.

I know I'm not in the ideal situation at the moment, but it really isn't that bad at all. I have a bed to sleep in, food to eat, and clothes to wear...so I really can't complain about much. I guess the frustration of not being able to get a house is one I haven't experienced before and hadn't really prepared myself properly to deal with. It's just amazing how much impact something like securing a house has on all other aspects of your daily life, and how much it puts on hold of planning for much of anything in advance.

I know that God is good. And I remain convinced that He wants to use me in Reservoir...and every time I see those beautiful kids I'm reminded of why I'm here. So, I just need to renew my faith and trust daily in the Lord that He has a plan, and that he will take care of me.

As the search continues.....I'm now off to uni.

Blessings.

Walk by faith

I've been reading a book recently about the "Founders of The Salvation Army" that I recieved from my grandparents last Christmas. It's not a very long book, but gives a pretty good account of William and Catherine Booth...their childhood, how they met, and then the path that led them to The Salvation Army.

I just wanted to share a part of a letter that Catherine wrote to her mother during a time when many uncertanties lay ahead.

"I have no hope that God will ever assure us that we shall lose nothing in seeking ot do His will. I don't think this is God's plan. I think He sets before us our duty, and then demands its performance, expecting us to leave the consequences wiht Him. If He had promised beforehand to give Abraham his Isaac back again, where would have been that illustrious display of faith and love which has served to encourage and cheer God's people in all ages? If we could always see our way, we should not have to walk by faith, but by sight. I know God's professing people are generally as anxious to see their way as worldings are, but they thus dishonour God and greatly injure themselves. I don't believe in any religion apart from doing the will of God. True faith is in the uniting link between Christ and the soul, but if we don't do the will of our Father it will soon be broken."

Well said.

Blessed to be a witness

Here's some lyrics to a song that is a favourite at the moment, on a cd that my lovely brother made for me before I departed the great white north.

Cheers.

Corcovado parted the sky

And through the darkness

On us he shined

Crucified in stone

Still his blood is my own

Glory behold all my eyes have seen

I am blessed to be a witness

Some have flown away

And cant be with us here today

Like the hills of my home

Some have crumbled and now are gone

Gather around for today wont come again

I am blessed to be a witness

So much sorrow and pain

Still I will not live in vain

Like good questions never asked

Is wisdom wasted on the past

Only by the grace of God go i

I am blessed to be a witness

Ben Harper

Pathways

It's probably been two years since I could say that I was blogging regularly...but alas, it's a new year, so we'll give this another shot.

I'm back in the land of Oz..again. Though most would say by now that this is home, and I was in Toronto meerly for summer holidays, which I guess is probably true. Boarding the plane in Toronto airport I sat down and felt tears creep down my face as I found myself thinking "why am I doing this again?" As easier as it may get to actually live in Australia, half way across the world from Canada, it never actually gets any easier to leave Toronto and the people that I love.

2007 brought a lot of unexpected events. The big ones are all common knowledge, so I won't go into detail. But, in reflection, it's almost as if we were heading down this path. A path that we may not have been fully aware of was heading, but became quite comfortable travelling along it anyways. A path that more or less seemed straight, with just a few bumps and curves along the way. Then suddenly..the path ended. It just stopped. Everything we thought we knew ceased to exist in the event of one moment...and we found ourselves only being able to form the question 'why?' We tried to grab onto one another for support, but found that most the time we fell right back down...unable to stand on our own two feet, let alone hold the weight of those next to us.

Slowly, over time, some have found their footing and have journeyed out, making a new path. Others have started out, but are crawling still...as they regain the strength that they once walked tall with. Some, I imagine, are still sitting in that same spot...the spot that they landed on when the news first came. Everyone is seeking out a new path now though. A new direction. A way to carry on...minus one.

The good news though is that God is there. He's there to help us stand up...help us take those steps in a new direction...help us carry on with joy in our hearts and our eyes heavenward. God is good.

I'm not entirely sure what path I'm on at the moment, or what direction it's heading in. I'm a bit of a floater as I'm without a house or job, and waiting for uni to start back up. I am excited for this year though. Excited for unknowns...excited for the hopes and promises God has spoken into my heart...excited for seeing all the beautiful Reservoir children...and excited for the development of new (and old) relationships.

Well 2008....lets do this.

Good Times

Does anyone read this anymore? Probably not, but that's okay because I hardly write nowadays.

This year is beginning to draw to a close, though it's still very full on and things just seem to be getting busier as the date for my flight home for Christmas draws closer.

I will be very glad once I have my first year of bible college under my belt. It's been an amazing journey, but will be good to feel a sense of accomplishment that this is something that I am acutally capable of.

Things in Reservoir continue to be amazing. I honestly don't know the last time I've been so challenged, and moved and encouraged in the span of one year. It's definitely had it's downs, along with all the ups...but it's all been worth it. I just grow more in love with the children and youth in this community every day.

A high point recently would be our "mock" Canadian Thanksgiving we had last weekend. We had a real mixture of kids, teens and leaders...all gathered together as one big family enjoying a real Thanksgiving feast. It felt like home eating the cranberries, and even sharing a home-made pumpkin pie for desert (they don't eat pumpkin pie in this country!). It is definitely one of my favourite days I've had in Reservoir, and a real moment that I just felt home.

I'm already getting excited for all that awaits for next year, though a lot is uncertain. I am currently without plans of where I'll be living next year, and with whom. There are a few who are also in the same boat, looking for accommidation in Reservoir...it's just a matter of things coming together and waiting on God to open up some doors for that to happen. I'm not worried, but it is a prayer point and something that is often trying to stir up anxiety in me from the depths of my mind.

Things are good. Reservoir is good. God is good.

"Where I cannot see, I'll trust"

God is good...did you know that?

I am sitting here this Sunday morning in Melbourne Australia absolutely amazed by God.

I received a facebook message from my Uncle Gord that told me that while preparing for a Bible Study that he leads, he put in the song lyrics "Where I cannot see, I'll trust" and came up with my blog entry from October 19, 2005. Doubtful anyone who has read that would remember what it said...I certainly didn't. So I looked it up and began to read....

"Saturday night I had the privilege of attending a very beautiful covenant service with 614. Throughout the evening my heart was stirred as God spoke into my life and revealed some new truths to me.

"Humbled by Your Majesty,
Forgiven so that I can forgive..."

I came to realize how proud a person I am. I think it's a hard thing for me to admit that I'm wrong. Not just in terms of proving a point in a discussion or debate with someone...but I have difficulties accepting the fact that I am capable of hurting someones feelings without realizing it. Recently I had an old friend confess that I had hurt them in the past, and because of that they didn't think very much of me. Instead of humbling myself and apologizing...I argued. I gave reasons, excuses and pointed out in a very wordy speech that I wasn't the one to blame, and there was a logical explanation as to why feelings had been hurt and why we weren't friends anymore.

I realized Saturday night what a proud person I am and the difficulties I have in admitting that I have done wrong and require the forgiveness from someone that I may have hurt...unintentionally or otherwise. I think this is a hard thing for me to overcome and completely change...but I am glad to have been made aware of it and hope to continue to improve and have God keep me accountable."

For anyone who knows me well, you'll know the friend I'm referring to in this blog and that this whole issue has been one that has been on my heart these past few months following the accident.

I am sitting here right now just blown away at the full circle my life has taken these past two years, without even realizing it. I am presently in a place where I am again faced with the negatively that I have allowed eat away at my life and be present in my relationships with people, especially those I love the most.

I think that I've been made to rediscover this post for a few reasons. For a start, to realize that where I am now isn't such a new place...and surprisingly enough, I can reflect on the further words I wrote in that post and take a lot of comfort in faith and knowledge that I had even two years ago of how good God is and that He's with me every step of the way.

I think it was also to remind me of the relationship I had with my friend, both the good and the bad...and to know in the end it turned out just how God intended it.

And finally...I think it was so I could say I'm sorry. I had been struggling with that nagging thought these past couple of weeks, and I think that this is the time to say it.

I'm sorry. To everyone in my life where I've let negativity get the better of our relationship...or when I let my pride or stubbornness dictate my words and actions. I'm sorry to those I hurt, either intentionally or not...and to those whom I wasn't a listening ear when I should have been.

Also to my family. Being so far away for so long does nothing but make you appreciate how much you love those most important in your life. I am sorry for those moments of absolutely pride, stubbornness and grumpy days when I just couldn't be bothered. But...thank you for loving me anyways and always seeing past those moments.

I think that's really all I have to say. I have a lot of reflection to do, and I know I have a long and hard path ahead of me as I continue to nut out who it is God wants me to be. But I am so thankful for his continued goodness and love in my life.

To have a read of the full post of October 19, 2005...click here.

No matter where I go I am, proud to be Canadian

Almost Canada day..here's an oldie but a goodie...

Missing you Daryl...

O Lord my God, when I, in awesome wonder
Consider all the worlds Thy hand hath made
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy pow'r throughout the universe displayed

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee

How great Thou art! How great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee

How great Thou art! How great Thou art!

And when I think that God, His Son not sparing
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in
That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing
He bled and died to take away my sin

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee

How great Thou art! How great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee

How great Thou art! How great Thou art!

When Christ shall come, with shouts of acclamation
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart
Then I shall bow in humble adoration
And there proclaim, My God, how great You are!

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee

How great Thou art! How great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee

How great Thou art! How great Thou art!

Fig Newtons

Well, semester one is nearly finished. Hard to believe. Exams are just around the corner and coming up in a few weeks, which I'm not exactly excited about..but then I do have 5 weeks of holidays to look forward to afterwards.

It's been a busy past month or two. I had two lovely visitors from Toronto here for a week, Easter, a mega squad (taking 30 kids swimming),a wedding, 3 essays due, leading a church service, a new babysitting job...and of course just the normal work load of school and stuff going on at Shop 16.

But, I'm definitely not complaining. Things are going well. I'm having fun and learning a lot, both at school and at the Shop.

One thing I'm finding with school, especially after researching essay topics, is how many more questions spring up in my mind. I guess it's just the way it tends to work when you study theology...the more you learn, the more questions you end up with.

I think I'll throw up a topic that I just talked about in my New Testament lecture this morning. We're working our way through Mark, and today looked at the final days of Jesus' ministry in chapters 11-14.

One specific passage we spent a great deal of time on, was the 'clearing of the temple' in Mark 11:15-19. This passage is right in the middle of the miracle and illustration of the fig tree that Jesus condemns, and its pretty much standard belief that Mark uses that to draw comparison between the fig tree with no fruit, and the temple lacking proper worship of God.

The part that was of debate is the actual purpose of the clearing of the temple. When you see a proper sized illustration of the temple, and realize the thousands and thousands of people it could hold in it's outer courts, you begin to wonder how much of an impact Jesus really made.

Was it a small protest in a corner in the outer courts where sacrificial animals were being sold? Or did Jesus actually halt the all temple function suggested by the language in Mark?

Was this act just in protest to the corrupt trade taking place? Or to all trade in general?

Was Jesus even angry, which is a common assumption? Even though there are no words used of that sort in any of the gospels...only that he had 'zeal' when he was clearing the temple, which is a different thing all together.

Was he actually "cleansing" the temple, as is widely accepted, because there was a need for God to purify His temple? Or was Jesus providing the means for all nations to be welcome to come to and worship at the temple? Or was it a hint at the final days, and that the time of judgement had come?

Or was this simply another act of Jesus to symbolically suggest that there is no longer the need for the temple, or for sacrifices, because the old ways are coming to an end, and a new age will begin in Jesus..the ultimate sacrifice?

It was definitely an interesting lecture despite all the questions given to think about, and the various opinions and ideas on the matter. But, I think I'll just leave it there for now.

Blessings!

Mo'Money

Money.

Man, is there a word that is capable of stressing out more people with just the mere utterance of it? Well, I know it stresses me out anyways.

I just wanted to share a brief God moment I had this week.

Wednesday was a very stressed out day for me. I received an invoice for my overseas health insurance from school that I'd have to pay them for, as well as for a college community fee. Upon receiving those I checked out my credit card status to realize it was pretty much maxed out.

Stress set in...and maybe even a few tears.

I have just gotten permission to work, but I am getting busier with school as essays are due soon (as soon as 6 days for my first one) and the next month proves to be a busy one with Easter, friends visiting from Canada (yay!), a couple weddings, and a mega squad that I'm in charge of planning for about 30 kids from Resi to attend. Needless to say, there aren't many jobs that I have the time for at the moment.

With all these thoughts flowing through my mind as I sat on my bed looking at my two invoices...stress and worry very nearly got the better of me. I finally took a deep breath....cleared my head...and just said "God, I'm putting this in your hands. That's all I can do."

An hour or two later, my friend Katherine rang me. She was ringing to ask if I wanted a babysitting job in the city. I nearly cried on the phone. Turns out, Thursday afternoons (which is the day I finish school at 1, and I am about 10 minutes away from the city) are perfect and I'm starting next week. It's for a 18 month old and a 3 year old, for a few hours a week, so that the mum can have some time to herself. It's perfect.

Even more perfect was when I got off the phone and my Godspell soundtrack was blaring out "thank you Lord....all good gifts around us...." Yah, I cried. What can I say? God is good.

It's nothing huge, and I'm still pretty much broke and having to take it one day at a time to work things out...but if nothing else it was a reminder to me that God's got it under control. He's got me this far, he won't leave me abandoned now.

~Big deep breath~

God is good.

Yes, I'm alive...

Well I haven't posted in quite some time so I thought I should..even though it is nearly 1am.

I am very happy to be back in Melbourne, and it feels like a home away from home now. I've settled into my new home, where I'm living with 3 great house mates. You can check out my new digs by clicking here.

I've now survived three weeks of Bible College, though it feels like its been heaps longer. I'm learning lots and getting challenged by a lot...and man, do I have to do a lot of reading!

Nothing else too exciting is going on. I'm getting into the childrens team at Shop 16 (my church) and loving being around all the Reservoir teens and kids again.

I'm still waiting on the government to tell me I'm allowed to work before I seek out some part time employment.

I guess just to finish off this blog I'm just going to post up a devotional I had to write in my first week of school, for my communication principals class. I had to present it and hand in an oral text, and it was worth 20% of my mark. I was heaps nervous about it, as I'm not one for public speaking. As well as the fact there are some very brilliant biblical minds in my classes, so that's intimidating. Anyways, I got an 'A' on this, which made me very happy indeed, so I thought I'd share it. (if it reads weird its because I had to write it in "oral" format, so writing how I read it out.)

Oh, and P.S. Uncle Brad...both the Bible and the flash drive you gave me are coming in VERY handy!! Thank you so much!

P.P.S Only one month until Jenn and Heather visit!! Yay!

Time

I have some trivia questions for you. Feel free to shout out the answers.

How many minutes are there in an hour?

How many hours are there in a day?

How many days are there in a year?

So, what do all of those questions have in common?

Time.

Time governs our lives.

Time tells us when to get up.

Time tells us when to go to bed.

Time tells us when to eat.

Time tells us when classes are starting.

And time tells us how long until a project is due.

Sometimes, impatience becomes our middle names as time slowly passes at a red light.

Sometimes, we hit a birthday of a significant age and wonder, where has the time gone?

Time.

Time is continually passing.

Time brings us moments.

Some moments that are a cause to celebrate,

And some that break our heart.

Time brings us life experiences.

Time brings us knowledge and wisdom.

Time brings us old age.

We live our lives according to time, without the ability to stop or control it.

Now, I have a question for you.

What are you looking forward to achieving as time is passing?

A diploma?

The man or woman of your dreams?

A career that will set you on the path for the rest of your life?

I have another question for you.

Are you living in the time and moments that God is giving to you right now?

Or are you in a constant state of waiting for the next big moment yet to come?

The big moment when life will really start?

Donald Miller in his book, Through Painted Deserts says this.

“I don’t think we can really understand how time passes.

We can’t study it like a river or tame it with a clock.

Our devices only mark its coming and going.

I dropped an anchor three months back but time didn’t slow.

Some things have to end, you know.

You feel like life is always leading up to something, but it isn’t.

I mean life is just life.

It’s all happening right now.

I only say this because I am trying to appreciate everything tonight.

I will be leaving soon, and I want to feel this,

Really understand that it is happening because God breathed some spark into some mud that became us, and He did it for a reason, and I want to feel that reason, not some false explanation.”

God has a purpose for our lives.

Jeremiah 29:11 says

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.

Plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future.”

That hope and future that God has promised, has already started.

Life is meant to be lived, not just gotten through.

Time is fleeting, and it’s not going to slow down.

You, have a choice to make.

Will you wait for the moment when all the pieces fall into place?

Or will you take every breath that God gives you,

as an opportunity to live out His purpose for your life?

Snowy January in Toronto

Well, what can I say?? It's definitely been a while since I've posted...especially since I've written something in a post.

I've nearly finished up my stay in Toronto, and will be flying out to Vancouver on Monday to stay with my family out there for a week..and then will be flying to Melbourne to begin year two in Australia.

It really has been a very good visit home. I've had more meals bought for me in the span of 6 weeks then I think I have in my entire lifetime...but its all been accompanied with amazing fellowship, catching up with both family and friends, and just sharing what both I and they have done over the past year.

Christmas was very good. I got exactly what I asked for, which is definitely helps with me going back to Australia...especially the stationary! Our family mini-holiday to Niagara falls was also a really fun time. In all honesty, I don't find the falls that interesting, but I did very much enjoy the time spent with my family.

Nearly everything is in place now to go back to Melbourne. I got my student visa at the beginning of January. I even got a Wii for Matt a couple of weeks ago (fantastic story about how I actually got my hands on one...but I won't type it out right now). And have gotten to do a lot and see a lot of people here in Toronto over the past month or so.

I was a bit nervous about coming home, and the possibility of not wanting to leave again. But, never once since I've been back in Toronto have I not been excited to get back to Melbourne and get my year going there. Oh, I'm definitely scared as anything to start school and to begin a year that is going to be both intense, demanding and very very busy...but I am excited.

It has been good to be home for this time and to just reflect a bit on who I am. I came to know a lot about myself while I was in Australia, and I guess coming back to Toronto has allowed for my two worlds to meet in a way, and for me to again look at who I am and who I want to be. I think it has helped to ground me again and allowed me to put together a fuller picture of what kind of person I am, who is important to me in my life, and what direction I'm going in.

I think leaving my family in Toronto again, is still going to be the hardest part about going to Australia. They're definitely a HUGE part of my life, and have helped to make me who I am...and I'll really be sad to say goodbye yet again. But, I know that they'll still be here, supporting me and praying for me, and before I know it, November will be here and I'll be seeing them again.

Definitely not excited about more planes. A plane ride out to Vancouver. Then a very long plane ride to Hong Kong, where I have a lay over...and then a final very long plane ride to Melbourne. Really really not excited about that. I'm not sure I'll ever quite get over my fear of flying and actually enjoying being in a plane. But, I've just got to know that the motivation to take such a long flight is worth it, and God will get me there in one piece.

I guess that's about it for now. Will try to do better to post more regularly!

Blessings!