Laugh..go on..you know you want to..

Over the past few days I've spent a lot of time laughing. Most of it was at the silliness and randomness of the company I was with...but it was definitely all good times and I enjoyed it immensely.

I have a friend who's said to me on more then one occasion that he doesn't take life too seriously, because too many people already do.

Do you ever get so caught up in what you're doing that you forget to smile? Does school, work, people, projects, or life take up so much of your time that you become grim faced and forget what laughter sounds like?

Deadlines are important...getting a paycheck is often vital...and getting projects in on time is definitely a good thing. But don't let that absorb up everything that you are, or became all you do.

It really is the simple things in life that make it worth living. And I know so many people say that, but do you actually live that out? Do you actually make the time for the simple things? The things that make you smile? The things that you know makes other people smile?

So if you can't recall the last time you let out a deep gut wrenching laugh, or you've forgottern how to curve your lips into that thing called a smile...take a break. Go smell the roses. Walk through the grass with no shoes on. Watch a funny movie. Spend time with people who make you tear up from laughing so hard.

Live life...or you're going to miss it.

I'm in His hands

I shall not fear though darkened clouds may gather round me;
The God I serve is one who cares and understands.
Although the storms I face would threaten to confound me,
Of this I am assured: I'm in his hands.

I'm in his hands, I'm in his hands;
Whate'er the future holds
I'm in his hands,
The days I cannot see
Have all been planned for me;
His way is best, you see;
I'm in his hands.

What though I cannot know the way that lies before me?
I still can trust and freely follow his commands;
My faith is firm since it is he that watches o'er me;
Of this I'm confident: I'm in his hands.

I'm in his hands, I'm in his hands;
Whate'er the future holds
I'm in his hands,
The days I cannot see
Have all been planned for me;
His way is best, you see;
I'm in his hands.

In days gone by my Lord has always proved sufficient,
When I have yielded to the law of love's demands;
Why should I doubt that he would evermore be present
To make his will my own? I'm in his hands!

I'm in his hands, I'm in his hands;
Whate'er the future holds
I'm in his hands,
The days I cannot see
Have all been planned for me;
His way is best, you see;
I'm in his hands.

Come Back Down

Staring right back in the face
A memory can’t be erased
I know, because I tried
Start to feel the emptiness and everything
I’m gonna miss I know,
that I can’t hide
All this time is passing by
I think its time to just move on

When you come back down
If you land on your feet
I hope you find a way to make it back to me
When you come around
I’ll be there for you
Don’t have to be alone
With what you’re going through

Start to breathe and fake a smile
Its all the same after a while
I know, that you are tired
Carrying the ones you lost
A picture frame with all the thoughts

I know, you hold inside
I hope that you can find your way back
To the place where you belong

When you come back down
If you land on your feet
I hope you find a way to make it back to me
When you come around
I’ll be there for you
Don’t have to be alone
With what you’re going through

You’re coming back down
You say you feel lost, can I help you find it
When you come around
From time to time we all are blinded

You’re coming back down
You don’t have to tell me what you’re feeling
I know what you’re going through
I wont be the one that lets go of you
I think its time to just move on

When you come back down
If you land on your feet
I hope you find a way to make it back to me
When you come around
I’ll be there for you
Don’t have to be alone
With what you’re going through

England Bound

Well, for anyone who hasn't heard yet...next Wednesday night I am flying out to England. I'm getting pretty excited about it, although the 7.5 hour flight over water doesn't quite thrill me!

I'm heading out to visit one of my favourite people in life, Tidd Rock, and also to be apart of UK Roots which is happening on April 29. I haven't been to England since I was 7, and don't remember too much of it (besides the wedding that I was in) so this should be good times for sure! I have the opportunity to help with the create team at Roots and lead some worship through art. I'm pretty pumped about it, although quite nervous because I've never really led any kindof worship before!

Please pray for me for a safe trip (as plane rides and I aren't the best of friends), and as well that Roots is just a really incredible experience for all involved!

Blessings!

The Many Faces of Joseph

I realized that I didn't have a lot of pictures of my 3 year old cousin and I....so we went camera crazy..and here is the results...

Here are our tounges

A forced 'happy' face

A couple of sad faces

There's no arguing that these are some scary faces...oh man...

In deep thought

Joseph's favourite way to say goodbye.."peace dude!"

Some classic Fonz.."Eehhh!"

Handle With Care

I love nothing more then a good conversation....and today was full of them.

I spent all three of my meals today with different people, in different locations...communicating about very different things. And in between those meals, I spent time with a couple other people, once again having some good chats about various different things.

One conversation has lingered the most for me in my mind, and I have spent a great deal of time since the chat, mulling over the words that we shared and the memories that the topic brought up for me.

It's interesting to notice how many people look back at decisions they've made in relationships with the opposite sex, and wish that they had done things so differently. I most definitly fit into this category.

When I recount for the different interactions and relationships I've had growing up I sometimes look back in regret, embarrassment, and disbelief. Did that really seem logical to me at the time? Was I really that blind? Was I really that trusting and gullible? Did I really set standards that low for myself?

I aim to not linger on the regret though. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that God can use a broken and horrible situation for His glory and for the betterment of the believer. I am the person I am today because of the situations I've gone through, and because of what my gracious and forgiving Father has taught me through my irrational and naive decisions.

Something I have learned over the past little while though, is how God never intended for these things to happen. Did you know that He never created our fragile and emotion filled heart to be broken? Did you know that He wants to guard your heart jealously until you have learned and grown enough that it can be trusted in the hands of someone else?

I wish I could drive that message into other girls who are currently finding themselves in the same situations that I was once in (I say girls..because I am one, so those are the experiences obviously that I had). Don't settle...don't be in a relationship with someone because you're lonely and seeking to fill the void. Not all guys are liars...not all guys will hurt you, use you, and break your heart. The Lord wants to make you a strong, confident, and mature woman of God. And eventually...you will meet that guy who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated...like a princess.

As ridiculous as it may sound to some (as it did to me growing up), trust God with your relationships. Trust God with that boy you think you need to be with. Trust God when you think all you need to be happy is a guy who tells you that you're wonderful and the best thing since sliced bread.

Trust God with your heart.

You Humble Me - Norah Jones

Went out on a limb
Gone too far
Broken down at the side of the road
Stranded at the outskirts and sun's creepin' up

Baby's in the backseat
Still fast asleep
Dreamin' of better days
I don't want to call you but you're all I have to turn to

What do you say
When it's all gone away?
Baby I didn't mean to hurt you
Truth spoke in whispers will tear you apart,
No matter how hard you resist it
It never rains when you want it to

You humble me Lord
Humble me Lord
I'm on my knees empty
You humble me Lord
You humble me Lord
Please, please, please forgive me

Baby Teresa got your eyes
I see you all the time
When she asks about her daddy
I never know what to say

Heard you kicked the bottle
And helped to build the church
You carry an honest wage
Is it true you have someone keeping you company?

What do you say
When it's all gone away?
Baby I didn't mean to hurt you
Truth spoke in whispers will tear you apart
No matter how hard you resist it
It never rains when you want it to

You humble me Lord
Humble me Lord
I'm on my knees empty
You humble me Lord
You humble me Lord
Please, please, please forgive me

Mission Jamaica Reunion

Yesterday afternoon/evening I got to spend several hours with my mission team family, as we had our Mission Jamaica reunion. It was a wonderful time as we shared memories, caught up with what everyone was doing now, and just enjoyed each others company again. Tons of photos were passed around and shared, and we watched a video from the trip that one of the girls had recorded. We even sang a song that had the lyrics re-written with memories from our trip. It was an incredible time, finished off with a devotion and a sharing of testimony's of the lasting impacts that the mission had for us.

I was given some new photos to add to my collection, so I thought I would share a few of my favourites that I received yesterday....

This one is a view of the house through the grass (obviously). Thats me in the white shirt, and Donna in the blue shirt. I thought it was a pretty cool view.

This is such a beautiful picture. I've talked so much about how the kids took care of each other, and this sums it up. All three of these kids are visually impaired to some degree, and the one on the right in the swing has a handicapped arm as well. Every single morning they would take turns pushing each other on the swing, and making sure they got on the swing safely. I love it..such incredible children.

This picture is classic!! This was nearing the end of our second rain day (which was in the first week), and we were asked to move from our job of sweeping all the water out of the building (that still had no roof) and become the fire brigade! So, with soaking wet wood, and the worst matches I've ever seen in my life (we used 3 packs!) we finally got a fire started! Yay for the log cabin method! (Although it was mostly me starting the fire, and my two lovely assistants watching and offering advice haha..so great!) It ended up getting so big, and the coals got so hot, we were able to keep this thing going for the rest of the trip! Pat is on the left, I'm in the middle, and Robynn is on the right.

Now..this picture..fantastic. (Laurie on the left, me on the right). I didn't know that this picture existed until it was handed to me yesterday! So here's the story..it was nearing the end of our second week of hard labour, and we were beyond tired! I had spent over 3 days of over 10 hours each day rolling paint onto ceilings, and was definitely looking for a change in jobs! So, the boys let me have the scaffolding to do the cutting in on the ceilings and some final touch ups. This was most definitely my favourite job on the trip because I absolutely loved climbing up on to this thing, and walking around on it so high up off of the ground. Anyways, Laurie and I had been touching up the rooms for a few hours, and it was getting pretty late, and we didn't want to start a new job. So..to lengthen the job that we had...we sang while we worked. We started out with some great old school Disney tunes from Little Mermaid to Aladdin..then moved right into Bon Jovi, Michael Jackson, and Cyndi Lauper. We were beyond exhausted, so we didn't care what people thought of us, and we sang our little hearts out! We even got in some nice dance moves while walking across the scaffolding! It was some fantastic times, and apparently the entire work site could hear us! We even ended up getting people popping their heads into the room and requesting songs for us to sing. So..somewhere in the 3 hours of our singing and painting, someone took this picture. I don't know if the picture really does it justice, but I am singing my heart out and having the time of my life! Love it!

What becomes of the brokenhearted...

I spent some time tonight in a bar/restaurant at Parliament and Dundas called My Town. I had joined 614 for their prayer walk, and my group and I headed out to spend some time in prayer and meditation at this particular location. It was definitly an interesting experience. This joint attracks quite the arrange of people...age wise, job wise, and culturally. The walls are covered with flags from different countries, quite a few sombreros, and there are plants hanging down over the bar. The look is quite unique for this part of Regent as it seems that the owners have tried to keep this place a cleaner, safer and brighter establishment then is usually found in this area.

One thing that really hit me was the loneliness of the place. It is a place where the lonely and broken come to sit, and dwell in their circumstances. Someone in my group mentioned that people seem to long to be recognized...to know that someone is noticing them, and their lives have some sort of meaning. So these lonely souls come to sit in a "public" place in the desperate hope that someone might notice their existence...that their empty lives might actually mean something. Even the music that played on the jukebox reflected the emptiness and brokenness that was embodied in those who sat in this place.

After leaving My Town and heading back to our starting point, we prayed continuously for the place that we just left. I found myself getting emotional as I asked God to be there for these lonely souls. That even if they've never experienced God in any way, that He would sit with them...that He would hold their hands...that He would stare back into those empty lives and go straight deep into the very broken hearts of who they are. We asked God's presence to be in and all around My Town as we made an effort in Jesus' name to take back this location for Him...that this would be another broken dark corner that God would reach His beautiful and incredible everlasting light into and rescue those in the bondage of loneliness.

This night has really caused me to reflect on myself. Earlier today I had thoughts of loneliness cross my mind...those are gone now as I realize how wrong I have been. Not only am I surrounded by a lot of family and people who are a constant support...I have God. Even in my most lonely moments, when I thought that no one understood, and I cried out to God for his love and strength...at least I knew I had the Lord. I can honestly not even picture the pain and hurt that would bury itself deep in my soul and scar my heart if I did not have the love of Christ in me...if I did not know that no matter what comes along, I will never be completely alone because I have God on my side.

I pray that God will reach those who sit, even now, in My Town and other establishments with their drinks sitting in front of them as their only comfort...as they wait desperately and bitterly to be recognized..to feel that their life means something to someone...anyone.

Lord use me to be a light for You..may I be a "Jesus person" in places that don't know Your name..

Be Blessed

What makes you smile?

The man who plays the steel drum at Main Station

Strong bad emails

My 3 year old cousin when he sings me a song about a pinecone

A beautiful sunset...even a Toronto one

When my Grandma says "it's only because I love you.."

Watching the muppets

My cat when she sleeps at the foot of my bed..even though I kick her while I sleep

White Hot Chocolate from Second Cup

Walking along the rocks at the beach

A sincere compliment

Getting a letter/email from someone I haven't heard from in a while

Watching the kids in Regent Park worship

Star spinning

My uncle when he calls me "Esther-fester-bester-tester"

Spring time

When I sing hairbrush karoke with Jessica

Camp

A walk in the rain

When I'm dancing around my room to Great Big Sea

A good conversation

When I"m watching Donna sing her heart out to a song..and then she notices that I'm watching

A hug from a friend

Walking outside barefoot

Reading Lord of the Rings

Peanut butter and chocolate ice cream

When I hear "I love you" from someone I know means it

A pillow fight

Dionne when she's had too much sugar or not enough sleep..or both

When I eat banana bread

When my brother gives me a hug hello when he gets home from school

Pay day

Wearing PJ pants

A thunderstorm

Hanging out with good friends

Visiting Saskatchewan

When people freak out over the tunnels in my ears

Going through my highschool yearbooks

Sandel weather

Will Farrell

Crusin' to Country with Chantelle

My squad kids

When I remember that nothing about me is a mistake, but exactly the way God intended me to be...and He loves me just the way I am

What makes you smile?

"Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God-- soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God." -Psalm 42:5 (MSG)

You and me

I have a new favourite song right at this moment, and I FINALLY found out who sings it and what it was called tonight while I was driving. So I thought I would post the lyrics..although you really have to hear the song to do it justice. It's a sweet one! Love it!

You and Me - Lifehouse

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

Sunshine and Birthdays

Ever have one of those days that you are just glad to be alive? And that between you and God things were in control and life is fantastic? Well...I had one of those days today! Although it probably had a lot to do with the absolutely beautiful sunshine that was out!

I saw Million Dollar Baby last night...finally. I think I was one of the last dozen people who had yet to see it. But it's an awesome flick. It really had a huge message about dreams, and accomplishing your goals in life. It was pretty powerful...just emphasizing how important it is to have dreams, and to not just set out to accomplish them, but to keep at it until you fulfill them. Life is pretty short...and you only get one shot at it. Anything you're missing out on? Are you limiting your imaginative scope and selling yourself short? Hmmm....

Well, it's past midnight..so...Happy Birthday to my dad!! He is the most incredible father I could have ever hoped for, and I really have no idea where I would be without him! Dad...thank you for always keeping your faith in me, even when you knew the decisions I was making weren't right. Thank you for being a strong rock for me to lean and depend on in absolutely every situation that came along, even if I didn't always seem appreciative! Thank you for getting to me where I am today, and I look forward to everything that is still to come! I hope you have an incredible day! Muah!

Blessings!

Perfect Love

"We all need improvement, but we don't need to woo God's love. We change because we already have God's love. God's perfect love. Perfect love is just that - perfect, a perfect knowledge of the past and a perfect vision of the future. You cannot shock God with you actions. There will never be a day that you cause him to gasp, 'Whoa, did you see what she just did?' God knows your entire story, from first word to final breath, and with clear assessment declares, 'You are mine.'

Trust God's love. His perfect love. Don't fear he will discover your past. He already has. Don't fear disappointing him in the future. He can show you the chapter in which you will. With perfect knowledge of the past and perfect vision of the future, he loves you perfectly in spite of both."

-Come Thirsty, Max Lucado

Thank you Lord that there is NOTHING that I have ever done, or ever can do that will but a barrier between me and your love! I will never surprise you, for you know every mistake I will ever make, and yet you will love me anyway! You delite in me, and I praise you for that!

Amen!