I was chatting it up with some serious girl talkage last night with my new friend Ashley. Was really good to vent about personal frustrations...insecurities...and realize that on a lot of things that absolutly confuse me or leave me asking "say what?", I'm definitely not alone in my female thinking.
Some things in regards to the opposite sex (okay, a lot of things) are really quite a mystery, and there is no exact science in how to go about male-female interactions, dating and the like.
So...in an attempt to cross the gender barrier on this issue..what are your thoughts on the following.
Who should make the "first move?" (In terms of the first steps of a relationships, and making it more then "just friends.") Yes I know ladies we all say "it's the guys job" and ultimately we would like to not have to always take the initiative. But what about those times where things are stuck and maybe the guy is just too oblivious or chicken to get things going? But then at what point do you decide to take things into your own hands? (and what does "taking it into your own hands" exactly entail??) Or should we just always leave it up to the guys? And guys...do you feel you've lost some sense of masculinity if the girl makes the first move?
A confession. Girls get giddy and ridiculous when they like a guy. They let it occupy their thoughts, and every little thing a guy does "just as a friend" means more and leaves us wondering "does that mean he likes me too?"
So..the puzzlement. I know very well how girls act when they have a crush..but do guys do it too? Do they let that special girl occupy their thoughts and day dreams? Do they read "too much" into every little thing, wondering maybe if she's giving him a sign to make a move? Do they spend time pouring over the decision about whether or not they should tell the girl their feelings for her?
I know how some guys would answer these questions, because I've had conversations about it with them. But thats just a few, amoungst a whole gender.
Soooo..feedback? thoughts?
12 comments:
YES! Blogging sleepover-esque discussions. Love it.
When I'm interested, I don't do anything, I don't tell anyone. Maybe I should step it up? Pfft.
I figure, if I'm interested, after the first hang out or two, they'll pretty much know. Intuitive connection. But, maybe that's just a wicked-fab excuse of mine to remain shy.
I "casually" seek mutual activites, but that's where I draw the action line because I'm a flat-out wimp.
As for the giddiness - I hope it's not a female phenomenon because seriously, the butterflies, the shyness, the stumbled words, the blushes, the constant thoughts? It's freaking sweet.
ps - no, this conversation wasn't revolving around chris for all you gossip queens. get yo minds out of the gutter!
Slight overkill here, but seroiusly. It has to be said while I've got the platform. (The muppet-stylez cane is coming. I can feel it).
Most people say "I want a down-to-earth girl, blah blah" but then a hussy comes along, flirts, and then they become putty in their hands.
WHAT UP WITH THAT?! Lame. Frustrating. Kinda hurtful. I'm sure it works both ways. For the males against the rico suaves, I mean. But seriosuly - nothing's more attractive than witnessing someone shutdown a mc-huss-ter. That's what I say.
Yes Ashley!!!
A whole other mystery that I forgot to mention in my blog!!
Are we "down to earth girls" alone in thinking that girls who flirt, play games, cheat, lie, and are "hussys"...shouldn't get the guy??
Why is it that guys get up on their soap box and say they want a good relationship with someone, they want someone who will return their feelings, and they want a "down to earth" girl...yet swoon and give in to the games of those girls who flirt, cheat and lie?
Nothing more frustrating to see a girl who has a boyfriend, but continues to be a flirt, and guys feed into it..letting her get away with it and giving a poor image to girls in relationships.
And I definitely concur with Ashley that "nothing's more attractive than witnessing someone shutdown a mc-huss-ter."
HAHA. "Flirt, cheat and lie." It all sounds so harsh. Bombdiggity!
I think guys go through similar crap though - girls can be flatout jerks too. Falling for the "big man" terds in the world. Sick.
Seriously, I give up.
...i feel like i'm interrupting a conversation...BUT ...my thoughts:
They think we're complicated?
k. the first move. the jesture. Personally I think the guys should do it. it just seems more natural and can make the toughest girl faint at heart. So guys, dont ever think... "well she just doesn't seem like the type of girl who'd want me to open the door for..." DO IT! By golly, risk a slap in the face! and honestly any girl who would be offended by a door being opended for them has problems.
:o)
Oh flip, ..... so much to say....
but heck maybe I'm too Gutless to say it :P
Pfft..Matt..what kindof comment was that? Write something better or that one's getting......
DELETED! (yes strong bad)
yah I like your comment Chris..cuz I think sometimes nothing happens at all because both the girl and the guy end up wondering "do they like me?" and both are too afraid to make the next move.
BUT..something else I want to throw out there for the guys who read this.
This frustration occured to me today while I stood at kettles for 3 hours. Maybe it was the bright red Salvo vest I was wearing..not sure..but I got so many "elevator" looks from guys, as well as a couple of "well hellllo there" and "how you doin?" (not even kidding). So..the question is...what kindof kick is it that guys get from making comments to a girl and then never seeing them again..or whistling when they drive by a girl walking down the street? I'm just wondering if there is some secret macho boast that guys get that I just don't understand as a female.
Feedback..??
(P.S. Just to make sure it's clear..neither Ashley or I, are a "ranting raving cosmopolitan reading feminist" lol..but just trying to stir up some answers to some age old questions and mysteries.)
Well, please be sympathetic as I painfully share my past with you.
When I was a teenager, my mother once privately asked my sister if I was homosexual. No word of a lie.
So ever since that I've been wrestling with my subconcious, pondering the whereabouts of my sexual orientation.
Thus, I've not been able to interpret or target potential crushes. This weakness, for me, has served as my primary motivator in avoiding getting "close" to a girl in a crushy sort of way.
Even in my own relational insufficiences I thank God for giving me the ability to diplomatically and gently make girls aware of when to.... scram.. or 'beat it', if you will.
Mike Metcalf once said to me that he can't tell when I'm joking or being serious. I'll leave you to deduce those moments from this comment.
Esther, you rock! See you at squads today.
P.S. I guess I'm not invincible in the whole having a crush thing. But I still prefer avoiding crushes. Girls have cooties. I think I like you Esther, want to go out for diner next week?
ha..blogs are fun.
Hey..I'm game if you're paying. lol
Just kidding.
But seriously...
Well, I too have had this serious girl talkage that you speak of....as of tuesday night...lol...goodtimes!!
Anywho..my thoughts...
I used to think that it didn't matter who made the first move...until it was ALWAYS me! And we both know how far that's gotten me...lol. I know for me, and most likely other girls, it makes you feel special when the guy makes the first move...that way you know for sure that they really likes you...cause if the girl makes the first move...sometimes guys just run with it and are like "hmm..she likes me...why not?"
When it comes to the giddiness, the rambling,butterflies in your stomach, and reading into everything WAY too much...yep that's me...I'm a total girl! Guy's if I act like a blubbering idiot...i like you! Oh wait...nevermind...I always act like a blubbering idiot....oh no...I'm rambling..Esther this must mean I like you;) ha ha
One last thought...from experience, I've come to the conclusion guys are stupid...i know, I know..I'm generalizing but a boy has yet to prove me wrong...I realizse girls can be stupid too...I admit..I am sometimes...but guys...just think about it before you start playing around with a girls heart!
Ok I think I'm done...
quit playing games with my heart,
I should have known from the start..
Babyy, ohhhh..
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