Saturday, February 26, 2005

A Smile Angel

Just wanted to share my favourite moment of today.

I was downtown with Sharon and my sister tonight, meeting some interesting people. While we were walking through an underground plaza, we traveled at one point up an escalator. I must have looked sad, or perplexed, because as I glanced over to the escalator going down next to us, an elderly gentleman traveling on it held up a pair of toy chattering teeth in my direction and said "smile." That was all..and then he continued on his way.

Made my night.

Blessings!



Friday, February 25, 2005

You make me feel like dancing....

Do you know what is a fail-free way for me to get into a good mood? To dance. It works everytime. I'm sitting here right now out of breath, as I just had a frantic dance around my living room to some pumpin tunes. I usually use the excuse that I need to clean my room to blast music and then dance around my floor and jump on my bed. But it always puts me into a good mood. Between the energetic music, the release of pent up energy and the realization of how funny I must look, I always feel fantastic after.

Maybe it also has something to do with the fact that as kids, we always used to do that. Saturday morning (after the cartoons) always meant chore time. It was definitly a drag, but we always looked forward to the music. We would have the stereo in the living room just blaring, and we enjoyed whatever tunes it was that my mom put on. Between Bare Naked Ladies, The Nylons, Boys 2 Men, Rod Stewart, Garth Brooks, and oldies cassettes, we had our fill of music to dance to. It's such a great family memory for me. I remember my mom dancing around the living room with us, and we were all just so happy.

Yes, I am 22 in less then a month (holy geez!) but I refuse to ever completely grow up. I hope that I will continue long into my life dancing around my house while the music is blaring. Why move on or let go of something so positive that sets me free and makes me happy?

I just read my friend Peters blog entry from today. It's entitled "Be a kid..." Give it a read (click here). It's a fantastic refresher of what it felt like to be a kid, and how simple things were...in comparison to how complicated we make our lives when we get older. A good reminder. And it's given me even more motivation to keep on dancing.

Blessings!

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Engagement & Syrup

Jocelyn and Joseph

Jocelyn is my life long best friend, and other half. We're about 5 weeks apart in age, as well as cousins, and spent our first 17 years of life living down the hall from one another. We've been through quite a bit of the ups and downs, but always came out on top. She has been my guiding light in building my relationship with God and never gave up hope for me, even when I couldn't find it for myself. I am so proud of who she is and how she is grown. And I would just like to take this opportunity to say congratulations to Jocelyn and Jeff for their recent engagement! I couldn't have picked out someone more perfect for her! God's fingerprints are all over Jocelyn and Jeff's relationship and I couldn't be more proud or excited for them!

And I would just like to share a funny story about my other cousin in the picture above, the almost 3 year old, Joseph. Yesterday I spent the afternoon riding the TTC with Joseph, as we had gone to visit my sister at work. So apon returning to my Grandparents house, I decided to stay for dinner. We enjoyed a lovely dinner of waffles, and I managed to even finish eating without getting any syrup on me (a miracle in itself). I was sitting across the table from Joseph, and watched as he decided he was finished eating and then attempted to dump the remaining waffle pieces onto his mom's plate beside him, but ended up with them all over the table. He then shook his plate around in the air for a minute, flinging syrup everywhere, before returning it to the table. Jocelyn (who was sitting beside me) and I then watched as Joseph starting splashing around in the syrup puddle that was still on his plate. He used both of his hands to repeatedly smack the plate, getting his hands covered. As he didn't think anyone noticed him, he then moved onto his face. He fully put his face smack down into the syrup puddle, splashing into it repeatedly with his nose. And once again, as no one said anything to him, he continued onto his elbows. He got both elbows into the syrup and swished them around the plate, getting all of his lower arms covered as well. It was at this point, that I just lost it into hysterics and had to hide my face behind Jocelyn so that Joseph wouldn't think that I was encouraging him. His mom caught on that he was bathing himself in his remaining syrup and took his plate away. I then got the wonderful responsibility to take him to the bathroom and wash him off...so much for the no syrup on my clothing.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

A little Country

Last night, when I was picking up a friend, I was scanning the radio stations for a good song. I got onto the country station, and a song was playing that I recognized. When we were younger my mom used to listen to Garth Brooks all the time, so for a time my sisters and I were a little hooked on him. Anyways, the song that was playing was "Unanswered Prayers" by Garth Brooks...used to be one of my favourite songs. I haven't heard it in ages, but could still sing along to all the words (a little sad I know). Anyhow...although I don't really think that there is such a thing as unanswered prayers, but instead maybe prayers that are just answered differently then what we might have anticipated...I enjoy the lyrics to this song. I think I like them because it's something that's easy to relate to. We think we know exactly what we want (and need) in our lives to make us complete, and we pray that if God would just grant us that, then everything will work out. The lyrics are simple, and maybe a little cheesy (it's country..common now) but I thought I would post them. Enjoy.

Unanswered Prayers

Just the other night
At a hometown football game
My wife and I ran into
My old highschool flame
And as I introduced them
The past came back to me
And I couldn't help but think of
The way things used to be

She was the one
That I´d wanted for all times
And each night I´d spend prayin´
That God would make her mine
And if He'd only granted me
This wish I'd wished back then
I'd never ask for anything again

Sometimes I thank God
For unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin'
To the man upstairs
That just because He doesn't answer
Doesn't mean He don't care!
Some of God's greatest gifts are
unanswered prayers...

She wasn't quite the angel
That I remembered in my dreams
And I could tell that time had changed me,
In her eyes too, it seemed
We tried to talk about the old days
There wasn't much we could recall
I guess the Lord knows
What He's doing after all

And as she walked away
Well I looked at my wife
And then and there I thanked the good Lord
For the gifts in my life

Sometimes I thank God
For unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin'
To the man upstairs
And just because He may not answer
Doesn't mean He don't care!
Some of Gods greatest gifts
are unanswered....
Some of Gods greatest gifts
are all too often unanswered...
Some of God's greatest gifts are
Unanswered Prayers...

Thursday, February 17, 2005

"For I know the plans I have for you..."

I've been doing some reflecting today. It's a really cool thing to look back on the past year and see how God has been working. Sometimes when we follow a path God sets out for us, we don't understand why we're traveling down the road we are on. But it's always such a beautiful thing to look back at where you've tread and get a glimpse at how God has been working in your life..

In the spring last year, God told me I had to trust Him with school. It turned out, that by the time July came, I received a very clear answer from Him that I had to take this year off of school. It was the biggest leap of faith I had ever taken, and was scared. I only had one year left of my Child and Youth Worker Program at Centennial...so it confused a lot of people that I would take the year off. But I knew that without a shadow of a doubt, that this was what God needed me to do for this year.

Also in the spring, within the same conversation with God that he told me I needed to trust Him with school...He told me I needed to trust him with my finances. Previous to this conversation, I thought that I was doing really well, and had given everything that I could over to the trust of the Lord. But then He stopped me in my tracks and said..nope..school and finances...I want them.

In regards to money...there was a few things that happened, but one of them was that he told me to save 15% of my earnings over the summer. I had no idea what they were for...Until September. My dad started talking about the Mission Trip He would be going on in the new year. He had gone with this mission Team the last four years, and was enthusiastically looking forward to the fifth trip. I had never had the time, money, or interest to go on a mission, including the ones my dad went on every year. But something was different this time. I had the time off from school, I had the money already saved up in my savings account...and God put the desire in me.

So, the rest is pretty obvious I think. I went on the mission trip to Jamaica. And now, it's really cool to look back and realize how these plans all came together. I know there are lots of reasons that I took this year off of school...some I may never know. But if for nothing else, I got to go on the mission to Jamaica. And due to that fact...it's actually affected how I'm looking at September. I was unsure of if I would be going back to school to complete my Child and Youth Worker degree. But since the trip...the desire is there. There are things that I believe God is putting in motion for me that I require this schooling for. Now...there is always the possibility I won't get back into my program. If that happens..well..I won't fret. I was just meant to get a start on my plans a little sooner is all.

I think my two week trip has really impacted my perspective in a whole variety of ways. It's shown me how to cherish and be thankful for all that I have, for I am truly blessed. It's shown me how little and unimportant some things are that we North Americans tend to make into huge issues, and waste our time and energy debating about. It's given me an appreciation for what the Salvation Army is doing overseas, and how beautifully they are doing God's work. But I think it's also open my eyes and mind to what God might use me for. A passion was started in me, while in Kingston, for those kids in Jamaica. I had never before contemplated that I might be used outside of Canada, nor did I have the desire for it. But...a new perspective has begun to form. It could fall to nothing, but it also may be a whole new path for my life that God is putting into motion. Should be interesting either way...

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

The Salvation Army - Child Sponsorship

I have been trying my best not to seem like I am "guilting" the people that I talk to about Jamaica, and about the lives and situations of the kids that I met. It is just a simple fact though that we have it much much better then so many other people outside of North America. It took a trip overseas for my eyes to be opened about that, but maybe you've already come to this conclusion on your own. Anyhow, I just wanted to post this link, for the Salvation Army Child Sponsorship Webpage. If you're interested, check it out. I got to meet a lot of kids in Kingston who have sponsors through the Salvation Army, and hear them talk about their friends who help them out. It does mean a lot to them, and it does make a huge difference. So check it out and click below...

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

He made me whole


He Touched Me

Shackled by a heavy burden,
'Neath a load of guilt and shame.
Then the hand of Jesus touched me,
And now I am no longer the same.

He touched me, Oh He touched me,
And oh the joy that floods my soul!
Something happened and now I know,
He touched me and made me whole.

Since I met this blessed Saviour,
Since He cleansed and made me whole,
I will never cease to praise HIm,
I'll shout it while eternity rolls.

He touched me, Oh He touched me,
And oh the joy that floods my soul!
Something happened and now I know,
He touched me and made me whole.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Beautiful Kingston


Kingston at night (view from the hill)

Family of God

Within the last couple of years, I have to come to realize how broken we can become as a family of believers. The Bible tells us that those who belong to the family of God are all on the same side...fighting the same fight. We are working towards a common goal, or that we should be anyways. How easily we fail this though. We spread gossip within the church and within our youth groups. We seek out those who are struggling, and just wait for them to slip and fall so that we can point out to all who will listen, what a horrible Christian they really are. Instead of looking at how far a brother or sister has come, we pick out all the faults and sins they've made along their journey, and we never let them forget them. How horribly disgusting and twisted we can be! To our own family of God! Nevermind those who have never met the Lord...

Reflecting again on my trip I was on in Jamaica, I noticed something quite beautiful near the end of the time we had in Kingston. At first I couldn't put my finger on it...I just noticed that there was something incredibly encouraging about the community and fellowship the group of 40 of us had with one another. And then I realized..there was no bickering. There was no fighting. There was no gossip, or words of negativity. The words people shared were that of encouragement, and strength. The team was always thanking one another for their work and participation on the project, and encouraging each other to keep fighting on to the end. True, near the end of the second week, when our body's were aching and we were physically and mentally drained, some people became stressed and tired, and unsure if we would ever see the end of the project. But still the smiles, the laughter, the praises to God, and the encouragement to one another remained.

As I noticed all of these things, I realized this is the family of God in it's most beautiful form. We were a family of believers, working towards a common goal of completing our project. When someone fell (and this happened in both the figurative and literal sense), there was always someone to pick them up and get them going again. Jesus was reflected in all the conversations shared amongst the team. There was no higharchy present. Yes there were those who head up the mission and gave direction, but we were all equal...equal members of the family of God.

I also noticed this reflected in the kids that we watched. They were always..and I mean always..taking care of each other. Sometimes it would be quite literally the blind leading the blind, as they took care to make sure their friends traveled to their classrooms safely, or found the destination that they were looking for. Those who were older, would look out for the younger ones. Those who had sight, or partial vision, would look out for those who could not see (although sometimes you would see it happen the other way around.) But again, what an incredibly beautiful reflection of how the family of God should look like! Working together toward a common goal...


It really doesn't take much for this to happen. It takes having the Lord present amount a community and family of believers. It takes us not putting stumbling blocks in our brother and sisters way. It takes encouraging words, and not words of revenge, hatefulness or deceit. We're not perfect and we all have sin...so we're bound to mess up more then once. But hopefully, there will be someone right there beside us to pick us up and set our feet straight again.

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtures put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." - Col 3:12-14


(For anyone who would like to see more pictures from my mission trip, click here.)

Saturday, February 12, 2005

The Mission to Jamaica

Isn't it ironic when you do something with the intention of helping someone else...but then end up being the one blessed by the person you set out to help.

I think this sums up my Mission Trip in regards to the kids I met. Just sitting here right now, closing my eyes, I am still getting teary playing the memories over of those beautiful children that I met. And they aren't tears of pity, or sympathy for the situations that these kids live in and come from...it's tears of pure blessing and joy. I have never encountered Jesus so vividly before my eyes as I did on this trip when I watched those children.

Let me tell you a little bit about my trip. We lived and worked right on the Salvation Army compound that enclosed the School for the Blind and visually impaired, The Nest, a home for visually impaired retired officers, a Salvation Army church, and other homes where officers lived who were stationed there. At the school there were students who boarded there, and some who came for the day, and went home at night. At The Nest, there were 42 kids who lived there who had either been abandoned or orphaned.

Each morning we would get up at about 6:00am (usually my sister and I were still sleeping by 6:15 and woke up to my father yelling from the male side of the building "Halsey girls..time to get up!") and we had breakfast as a group at 6:30am (grace was sung precisely at 6:30 led by the fabulous John Pierce). After eating, a different member of the team each morning would lead a short devotion. It was such an incredible way to start the day, and really helped us see into the lives of each person who spoke, and share Jesus with them. I was blessed and encouraged every day by these devotions as I witnessed so many strong men and women of God share their testimonies and tears.

At about 7am we were headed down to the site. We would walk through the school towards the back of the grounds, so we would often get to talk to a few children as we walked. One of my favourite memories is seeing the same two boys every morning play on the swings before school started. They were both completely blind, and one was handicapped and had only one good hand. With his good hand though, he would always be pushing his friend on the swing. We would shout out "good morning boys" as we passed, and they would both respond with a cherry "good morning miss!"

As soon as we got down to the site, it was straight to work. Our biggest task was putting a new roof onto the building we were repairing. So..the first job..tear off the old roof. The stronger men (who weren't afraid of heights) were up on the roof ripping up the old tin and throwing it down for us strong women to move and stack. After the tin, came all of the wood frame that made up the roof. We ended up with a heap of wood about 9 feet tall and at least 20 feet in length. We got quite a few wounds and bruises during that first week, as the tin could slice right through your skin (just ask Mark Hall), and we were after all, on a construction sight.

There were two days unfortunately during the first week that it just poured. The clouds rolled in over the hills, and the sky unleashed a downpour. We had been painting a great deal of the wood that was going to go up for the new roof by this point, so we had to quickly cover up as much of it as we could and were left without a lot to do. The guys on the roof however...they kept working. Electrical equipment and all. One of the guys decided it'd be good to stop after his arm kept buzzing from the shock that kept shooting up it. We did have only one (praise the Lord) serious accident. A ladder that the guys had made from wood was being used in the house, which now had a wet floor. One of the men were on it, and it slipped and caused him to slide his arm down a glass pain window. He was very strong about it all, and didn't utter a single complaint..even after his 15 stiches on his arm, and the 5 stitches that sewed the tip of his index finger back together.

We would work all day until 6pm (although the second week that ended up being pushed until 7, and then 11 on a couple of the final nights). We had a break in the morning, half an hour for lunch, and a break in the afternoon. I enjoyed the breaks in the mornings, as the younger kids at the school had their morning recess at the same time. After grabbing some cold liquids and a snack, a few of us would walk over to wear they were playing and hang out with them for the short time we had off. My boys that I hung out with at break were Kareem, Richard and Jamere. Kareem was completely blind, Richard couldn't seem much and had glasses, and Jamere could only see things when they were really close up. You knew when Kareem was out, because you could hear him. I could hear him shouting from when I was still at the work site "Miss Esta! Come push me on the swings!" So I would spend the next 10 minutes or so pushing 3 boys on the swings while they competed to see who could go the highest.

It was an awesome thing to see how these kids interacted. There were a few there from the nest, who had complete sight, and they would look out for and take care of those that they knew were visually impaired. No one was sitting there telling them to look after them...but they did it anyways. Just as a second nature. It was beautiful. And my dear Kareem, who had no sight, was always looking out for his friends. I saw him help his friend Shamar (who has some sight) open his snack because he was having difficulties with it. Kareem would always save the swing closest to the ground for a little boy named Mario, who also had no sight, making sure that he had a turn.

These kids loved their sense of touch. They would hold your hands and rub your arms, and your face, getting a sense of who you were. And those who could see up close, would put their face right up against yours, trying to get a glimpse of who you were. There was no fear that a hug, or holding of a hand was crossing boundaries. These kids soaked up all the love and attention that you could give them.

At the end of the day, when the sun set, we would head back up, have our cold showers, and eat dinner together. After that..there wasn't much to do. Some nights we would play cards together, or just sit outside and enjoy each other's fellowship. I enjoyed heading up to the nest to visit the kids there, although we would often have to do it before dinner, as they went to bed early. There were a few of us who went up regularly to hang out with the kids and just get to know them. Each and every one of those kids had such an incredibly beautiful spirit. You would never think that any hardships had ever crossed their paths. And they were just bursting of Jesus, and loved telling us their favourite books of the Bibles and verses.

On the middle Saturday, we took the afternoon off and went to a beach called Hellshire. It was a wonderful break from work, and a great experience to absorb the culture as it was a local beach. We ate lobster, coconut, and sugar cane right on the beach and swam in the beautiful clear water. Later that night we went out to a Chinese food restaurant for dinner, which was fantastic! (Although someone *cough* Brian *cough* ordered about 10 plates too many of food!)

At the end of the first week, nine team members went home, and four new people came. It was a hard adjustment at first because we had lost a lot of man power, and were behind on getting the roof back together. But..we put in a lot of long tough hours, and got to see our project completed. And man oh man..it's beautiful!

On the last day that we were in Kingston, my sister (Donna), Laurie White, and I had the privledge of leading the Blind Schools morning sunday school class. Donna is blessed with dramatic abilities, so she told the story, and Laurie and I helped with leading worship and leading a game. At the end, the Captain came and thanked the team for all of our work and for coming to the compound. He then asked Bob McArthur to say a few words on behalf of the team. Bob summed it all up I think we he said that we had come to give what we could to the school, and to help out by fixing their building. But we were the ones who had been blessed. Each and every member of the team was leaving having been impacted in one way shape or form from meeting and witnessing the children on the compound. I teared up as he spoke, knowing the full truth of his words, and realizing how much I was going to miss being there.

Well, I have definilty written a great deal, so I think I'm going to end it now. There is definitly a lot more to write about, regarding what else I learned, and took away from this trip, so I'll most likely get back to that in the upcoming days.

Here are some pictures though just to finish up, from my trip.


An outside view from the corner (it's an 'L' shaped building) of before and after

This is my sister and I, Sunday morning at church with all our beautiful children.


This is me and one of my boys during break time.


This is our team at the end of the second week. One of the guys in the first week brought the Canadian flag for us to all sign and leave in the building.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

I'm not in Kingston anymore...

Well, it's been a while, so I thought I should update.

I've been back in Toronto now since Sunday night. There is a lot of things that have hit and impacted me about my two week trip to Jamaica. But I am still adjusting, reflecting and praying about a lot of things since being home, so I'm going to wait a bit longer before posting something in direct regard to my trip. In short though, it was a wonderful success and we completed the project that we set out to do. I have been blessed from this trip in so many ways, and I'm praising God for being able to be a part of this Mission Team.

Last night when praying and doing some thinking, I wrote this out, so I thought I would share it. I think it's kindof my new vision and realization of what God is, and who He can be for different people. It's more then just empty words...it sums up how I witnessed God moving in Jamaica and in the lives of the children who I met.

You Are...

You are a Father to the fatherless
You are a stronghold to those who are weak
You are the eyes of those who cannot see
You hold the hand of all those who walk alone
You cry for the lost
You pain for those who are suffering
You are a healer of broken hearts
You are the smile on a child's face
You are the way home to those who are wandering
You are music to those who cannot hear
You are compassion, You are love
YOU ARE GOD

Sunday, January 23, 2005

T minus 5 hours....

Leaving in about 5 hours to go to the airport to head down to Jamacia....why am I still awake??

I just realized today, as the day progressed, how much I still had yet to put together and figure out before heading off for two weeks...but I just have a few more emails to write, and I think I can go and catch a few winks before waking up again!!

Just wanted to ask again that over the next two weeks you keep our mission team of 40 in your prayers as we are working in Jamacia. For safety, for productivity, for unity, for good health, and to remember Jesus in all that we do!

Thanks..and I'll see you bloggers in a couple weeks!

Blessings,

Saturday, January 22, 2005

The Salvation Army and our Youth

Every Thursday night at my church we have our Teen Drop In (TDI). We've recently tried to reformat it, as we just have an abundance of teens coming to hang out and talk, and it can become difficult at times to decide a topic to discuss with such a large group of opinionated teens.

However, last night, we began a discussion about the Salvation Army. In our youth group we have youth who were raised in the army, youth who are officer kids, youth who attended a different church all together but join us on Thursday nights, and youth who are brand spanking new to the Salvation Army within the last 6 months. But...we all have the Salvation Army in common, in one way shape or form.

The discussion started out slowly as different people talked about why it was they attended our church, and why they had chosen a Salvation Army church. About 10 minutes into discussion however, the topic got turned to uniforms and senior soldiership. It was interesting to notice all the opinions and questions that the youth have regarding these topics, yet had never been spoken out about before from them. I was honestly amazed at the intelligence and thought that went into what a lot of the youth shared and talked about in reference to what they thought about the Salvation Army uniform and how it affected them.

Our youth ranges from teens who are in songsters and band (although not all of them in uniform), to teens who are apart of the worships team (some uniform, some not), to teens who would claim that they would never under any circumstances wear the uniform. So, not all who were present for the discussion agreed with one another, but it was definitly a safe environment for the youth to rant and rave about feelings and opinions they had regarding this topic, without fear of critiquing or condemnation from the "older" part of the church (a point I'll go into more detail later on).

A couple thoughts brought up that stuck out to me were the following:

- 14 is too young for a teen to sign and pledge to a Senior Soldier covenant

- Soldiership should follow where the youth are in school (i.e junior soldiership for elementary students, corps cadets for middle/highschool students, and senior soldiership for high school graduates)

- The uniform was created to wear outside the church as a witnessing ministry - so why not change it so that you wear the uniform when you are doing ministry and out in the public, but not on a sunday when you are with fellow believers

- The separation between those who are in uniform, and those who aren't can cause those who are new to the Salvation Army, or just looking for a church, to feel excluded based on how they look

- The uniform can be intimidating to people when you are out in the world during ministry and cause a barrier to those you are trying to reach

- too much emphasis is placed on how the Christian looks (i.e what they are wearing) instead of the heart that they have for God, and the words that are coming out of their mouths as they witness to the friends with whom they "fit in" with because of how they dress

These are just a few of the ideas and thoughts that were brought up last night. I want to remind anyone who is reading this, that I am not saying that I either support or disagree with any of the things above, nor were all these thoughts mine. They were ideas and deep feelings that were expressed by a large group of Salvationist youth in a comfortable, non - threatening environment. I don't feel that any of us have the right to tell them that they are wrong for what they believe, nor are their thoughts not valid.

I do find it interesting though how many youth referred to the "older" part of the members who attend our church, and that they felt a lot of pressure, and condemnation from that part of our church. I don't think that the ideas shared are necessarily just a "youth" thing, and should then cause a rift between generations of Salvationist. Actually, there was a mother of a couple of the youth present at this discussion, and shared her thoughts regarding the uniform as well, that could have very well have come from a teen. It was just interesting to me to notice how many of the youth referred to the "older" part of our church, when speaking about what it was they were sharing.

I also find it interesting that I think a lot of what the youth shared last night, they would never say in public at our church, and probably a lot of them wouldn't even say it to their parents. Because a lot of them are made to feel that what they are saying is wrong...that they aren't allowed to question who or what the Salvation Army is, and what it stands for. I am completely against this idea, and think that they need to voice their opinions and share their thoughts, because even though some may be uneducated in their rants and raves...they are from the heart, and they are a part of the Salvation Army church as much as the next person.

I'm not sure really what the "point" or "moral" of this blog is. But I know that our youth have opinions..a lot of them..that aren't being shared. We want our children and youth to be able to speak up and be apart of what the Salvation Army is, and where it's going. But how do we expect them to do that, if we condemn them for what they are going to say? They shouldn't be made to feel that their opinions aren't legate, nor that they aren't worthy of being said. They need to be encouraged to share. Maybe this was just the starting point for our churches youth. The safe, non-threatening environment of a room full of teens who share their thoughts and ideas. I hope that they will all get to the point where they won't feel intimidated or unworthy to share with others what they are so passionately holding in their hearts.

Monday, January 17, 2005

His name is Russell

Friday night I met an incredible man. A brilliant, genius of a mind, with eyes that looked into my heart and soul and told me things he believed God was sharing with him. He revealed things to me about my character that he could read by our conversations, and filled my heart with encouragement and strength as he spoke with passion and real love for his Lord and Saviour. His name is Russell. I met him Friday night, where he was panhandling on Queen Street.

My friend Sharon and I set out on a mission Friday night that the Lord put us on. We didn't know what, or who, we would encounter, but we knew God was leading us, and we had no choice but to follow. We set out from the Eaton Centre after having a prayer to commit the night to the Lord, and walked along Queen Street. Within about 2 minutes, we came across a man, half in the shadows, sitting on the ground with some change in front of him and a smile on his face. As we approached, he looked at us and said "In darkness, there is joy." We handed him a sandwich, and he was over joyed at the sight of food. He began to talk to us very openly, so we sat down beside him and began to chat.

His name is Russell, he told us. Although his thoughts were often scattered, and would jump from topic to topic, we managed to keep up and participate in quite a passionate conversation. Turns out Russell loves to read, and just devours books. He spends a lot of time in the library and can literally tell you (very accurately) about almost anything in history. Whether it be about the Greeks, the Romans, Canadian History, or Jesus Christ...he's got it down pat. But he doesn't just talk, or recite the knowledge that he has in his head. He passionately and emotionaly gets right to the heart of it all, and challenges you about things that would never have crossed your mind normally. His head isn't just filled with knowledge...it's just brimming with real and true wisdom.

The biggest thing that struck me about Russell is how he wept. Two occasions that he began to cry stick out in my mind very strongly.

The first was when he had asked Sharon and I what we thought about Jesus Christ. After we responded, I turned it around and asked him the same question. He became quiet, closed his eyes, tilted his head down....and wept. Not a single tear, or a quite sob. Full weaping took hold of this man. He looked up at us and apologized, but said that Jesus just meant so much to him, and struck him so deep...he couldn't help but weap. And there was no way this was an act, or carefully placed together words. He was demonstrating REAL emotion and TRUE love for Jesus. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen and experienced. It will be a memory that I will carry with me forever. A man not knowing what else to, besides cry, because the love for his Saviour is just too great.

The second time that Russell was overcome with emotion was when he began to talk about "beautiful minds." It happened several different times throughout the conversation. He would talk about different people in history who were "beautiful minds," who cared about people, and changed history, and were just brilliant...but didn't have Jesus in their lives. The part that he struggled with was the thought that God would send this precious lives to eternal damnation. How could such incredibly passionate and beautiful people not get into heaven? This thought drove Russell to weaping every time he brought it up. It was incredible.

I was touched and impacted by my two hours spent on Queen street, sitting on freezing cement with a homeless man, Friday night. He told me several times throughout the night that I was a protector, a solid rock to support people, and that I was strong. It was so incredible. These were the exact words that I know God has been trying to tell me over the last little while, but have been refusing to hear. But through the mouth of a man who lived on the street..the Lord touched my heart in a very real way.

Russell kept apologizing as he felt that he was getting us depressed, or bringing us to a "dark place", but words kept failing us as we tried to thank him and describe to him what an incredible, passionate, person he was, and how God was speaking through him.

I could go on and on for hours more about my conversation with Russell. About the things that touched me, and the incredible way God is using him, but I'll stop here. It was one of the most beautiful experiences I've ever had in my life, and he is one of the most passionate and incredible people that I have ever had the privledge of knowing and the honour of having a conversation with.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about Russell since last night. I pray that if it is God's will, we will run into him again.

One final thought. Something Russell asked Sharon and I near the end of our conversation. He said.."what happens next?" He meant, after our conversation...now what? What else do we do? We gave him food, we gave him company, and we shared Jesus with him. What comes next? Sharon and I looked at each other, not sure of how to answer the question, and then Russell went on to another topic that had just popped into his head. But thats the question I leave you with, because I still don't know. What happens next?

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Mission Jamaica 2005

Only nine days left before the trip...HOLY GEEZ!!!

The Mission trip that has been in the planning process and thoughts of many for the past several months, is coming up soon..and fast!

On January 23, I am apart of a team of 40 Salvation Army folk who are heading down to Kingston Jamaica for two weeks. We are going to be rebuilding the Salvation Army, Childrens School for the Blind, that was severely damaged when the hurricane hit several months ago. We will be living in the compound that the school is in and working from literally sun up to sun down.

This is my first time going on a mission trip, outside of Canada...and I'm starting to get nervous!! I think my biggest fear about it all, is the flight. It's actually only about a 4 hour flight, which isn't long at all, and I've flown for that long plenty of times going out to BC. BUT...me and flying still don't mix. One of my biggest fears in life actually!

I am getting excited about it all though. I'm looking the most forward to getting to spend time with the kids. We will be working long hours, and really hard core, but hopefully I'll get a lot of chances just to talk to the kids who attend the school that we will be working and living at.

Pretty much the reason for this post though is for a prayer request.

We need prayer for safety for our team..for the flights there and back, but also while we are there. There will be a lot of guys working some serious power tools, spending long hours on roofs, and the whole bit, so prayer for the safety of the team is much needed!

As well, please pray for unity for the team. The only people who I know closely will be my dad and sister who are also coming on the trip. But prayer for the team to stay strong together would be greatly appreciated!

Pray for the mission as a whole. That the work that is planned to get done in these two weeks that we are going, will get done. Pray that we will touch lives and the light of God will shine from us to all though around!

Finally, please pray for me. For me to stay strong on the flight (especially during turbulence..eek!), and that God will use me on this mission trip.

Thanks!!

Monday, January 10, 2005

Laughter & Hope

You know those places that you visit or spend time at that just feel like home? The places where you feel loved, understood, relaxed, you laugh a LOT, and you just...fit. I have two of those places. One is Saskatchewan, and the other is Camp Wabana. Although they are very different, filled with completely different surroundings and people, I fit in both of these places.

This weekend I spent Friday night to Saturday night at our camp reunion up at Wabana. What a fabulous time!! It turned out to be a weekend with the girls, as we all seemed to be inseparable the entire weekend. We spent Friday night eating junk food, talking about boys (ironically..not about boys who any of us liked..but rather boys who drove us nuts! haha) and watching Ella Enchanted on Jill's laptop. Saturday we kept up tradition and made a trip to good ol' Giant Tiger. After running around in the snow playing a game of "Golden Nuggets" about 12 or so of us ended up back in the cabin crammed in and sprawled out in one of the rooms. We ended up wasting a good hour or more doing some hairbrush/water bottle karoke, as Cinderella and I provided most of the entertainment. It was definitly some serious bonding time for us girls!!

Due to the fact that we had maybe four hours of sleep, a lot of the weekend was a blur. But what I do remember clearly is how much I laughed!! I'm coming to the conclusion that laughing is one of my favourite things in life! It gives me one of the best feelings in the world, and always makes my day. And this weekend was definitly full of it, and certainly what I needed!!

On Friday night we had a little worship service in club freshie. While we were worshiping I was just thinking about how much so many of the people in the room with me had grown. Spidey and Squeaker were leading the worship...and as I thought about it, it just completely filled my heart with joy and pride. In my first two summers, I met and got to know Spidey, Squeaker, G-Funk and Flame. I have different relationships with each of these guys, in various degrees, but each of them mean a ton to me. When I met them, they were just boys..kids really (and each of them at least a foot shorter then they are now haha)..getting their first real job at a summer camp. Their faith in God was small, if it was there at all, and they saw the world with such an immature outlook. But as I sat in the room Friday night, and looked around to each of them, my eyes just filled with tears. Spidey and Squeaker were at the front of a room of people, singing and praising God straight from their hearts. Spidey would regularly stop to pray and just encourage others to set their focus on God. And Squeaker...oh I love when that boy sings! It's straight from the heart and just bursting with passion for his Saviour! And then I was thinking about G-Funk, who this past summer was one of the most incredible male cabin leaders I've ever seen!! Words can't describe how proud I was of him this summer, and how he was with his campers. He went from being like a kid brother to me at camp, to a cabin leader who I looked at with pride and respect! And then my boy Flame. I remember my first summer how he would ride around on his bike, and stop at my cabin to talk to me. And he too has gone from a little ldp, to someone who is now seeking God and has just become such a good friend. All four of these boys have gone above and beyond where I would have expected them to go. And the best part about it is...it's not done yet! They still have so far to go, which only means that God has even better things in store for them and their potential hasn't even begun to show yet!

It all just really got me thinking about how everything and anything is possible in the Lord. Within the past 4/5 years I know each of these guys have had their ups and downs, and serious struggles in their lives...but I praise God for the work He is doing and will continue to do in them!! It just reminded me that we can't ever give up hope. No one is EVER beyond the reach of the Lord..EVER. Look for the potential in everyone. View them from the Lord's eyes. Encourage those who no one else see's potential in...you may be the one person who shines God into their lives. This is true whether you're talking to kids at camp, your peers, people you've just met, and even adults who are older then you. Age is not a factor to God...whether they are 5 or 50, there is always hope..there is always the opportunity for God to use them and mold them into something absolutly beautiful and spectacular.

One final thought. My chickita, Lola just started a blog, so check her out!!

And those are just my random thoughts from my weekend...and I'm tired...so I think it's time for bed...

Friday, January 07, 2005

Kids LIFELINE of Hope

THQ launched a national appeal by the Youth and Childrens department. It's called Kids Lifeline of Hope .

Check it out!

Can't give up now

There will be mountains
That I will have to climb
And there will be battles
That I will have to fight

But victory or defeat
It's up to me to decide
But how can I expect to win
If I never try

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
And I don't believe He brought me this far to leave me

Never said there wouldn't be trials
Never said I wouldn't fall
Never said that everything would go
The way I wanted it to go

But when my back is against the wall
And I feel all hope is gone
I just lift my head up to the sky
And say help me to be strong

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
And I don't believe He brought me this far to leave me

No, You didn't bring me out here to leave me lonely
Even when I can't see clearly
I know that You are with me, so I can't...

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
And I don't believe He brought me this far to leave me

-Mary Mary

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Name the Animals

I have just been re-reading some points I marked off in "Searching for God Knows What" by Donald Miller, and I came across this part that I wanted to share.

"...I noticed that Adam and Eve didn't meet right away. Moses said God knew Adam was lonely or incomplete or however you want to say it, but God did not create Eve directly after he stated Adam was lonely. This struck me as funny because a lot of times when I think about life before the Fall, I don't think of people going around lonely. But that thought also comforted me because I realized loneliness in my own life doesn't mean I am a complete screwup, rather that God made me this way. You always picture the perfect human being as somebody who doesn't need anybody, like a guy on a horse out in Colorado or whatever. But here is Adam, the only perfect guy in the world, and he is going around wanting to be with somebody else, needing another person to fulfill a certain emptiness in his life. And as I said, when God saw this, He did not create Eve right away. He did not give Adam what he needed immediately. He waited. He told Adam to name the animals."

So, from reading this text, two thoughts come across my mind that I am going to share

The first is how Donald mentioned he takes comfort in knowing that Adam felt lonely. This is something that I had never thought of before. In these past few months, I have been struggling off and on with the feelings of loneliness, and if it is a weakness on my part to be desiring close friends, and eventually (way down the road) a husband. But Adam, the very first man to walk the earth, and he was without sin (before the fall), had a desire to be with someone. God created us to need and want companionship, community and relationships. I definitly take comfort in that! To know that I'm not being weak by desiring companionship is a great relief...and once again coming to the realization that God created me the way I am for a reason

The second thought that I dwelled on was that Adam did not get Eve straight away. This is something else I had never noticed before. God told Adam to go and name the animals. Donald Miller goes on to emphasis how long a process that must have actually have been...naming the animals. Donald guesses that it must have taken Adam a year just to name the snakes, and over a hundred years to name all the animals. I don't know how accurate a guess that is, but it definitely puts it into perspective! It then goes on in the book to talk about Adam receiving his companion...

"So here was this guy who was intensely relational, needing other people, and in order to cause him to appreciate the gift of companionship, God has him hang out with chimps for a hundred years. It's quite beautiful, really. God directed Adam's steps so that when He created Eve, Adam would have the utmost appreciation, respect, and gratitude....God made Adam work for so long because there is no way, after a hundred years of being alone, looking for somebody whom you could connect with in your soul, that you would take advantage of a woman once you met one. She would be the most precious creation in all the world, and you would probably wake up every morning and look at her and wonder at her beauty, or the gentle, silent way she sleeps."

A lot of times we become impatient, angry, and frustrated attempting to wait on God's timing in our life. For so many of us, waiting for the Mr/Mrs "right" could be one of the hardest things to be patient about and completely trust to God. But aren't some things just worth the wait? Especially if God wants to make sure you are going to appreciate the true gift that He is going to give to you?

Maybe the aspect of a future wife/husband isn't an issue at all for you, for whatever reason. But is there something else you're having difficulty trusting to God? Something you want now because you "need" it and just can't wait another day for things to happen your way? Is God telling you to go and name the animals, but you are refusing to obey?

Saturday, January 01, 2005

God Bless 2005

Lord God, I place this new year in Your hands. Let every second, every moment, every breath be dedicated to You!! Jesus great things are unfolding in Your name, and this is only the beginning!! Unleash the passion in the hearts of Your children!! Ignite the flames in the souls of all the believers!! We dedicate this year to You Lord Jesus! In Your name incredible things are going to happen!! God I am so excited, I haven't been able to stop smiling and laughing since the stroke of midnight!! Jesus You are beautiful! Let Your will be done this year! Time is a gift from You Lord, and I dedicate it all back to You!! I am but Your humble servant, ready to be used for Your ministry Lord!! God I place in Your hands our church, our community, and our nation Jesus! You are far greater then all of these and can bring healing to the masses! I commit this year to You Lord God!!
In Your precious and holy name!
Amen