The Majesty that is BC

Friday night already..the week is flying by.

Thursday I had one of the most beautiful and incredible experiences I've ever had in my life. Di and I got to go whale watching with my uncle David. We went out the Fraser River, onto the Strait of Georgia, and rode on a boat for 5 hours total. The weather was just gorgeous and there was a clear blue sky, so you could see a horizon of mountains in every direction.

We saw loads of bald eagles, perched on rock formations and trees on islands that we passed, as well as flying over head. After an hour or so of riding in the boat, we came across a large group of seals. Normally they are all out on the rocks, just bathing in the sun, but when we went by there was about 30 of them swimming in the water. They completely surrounded the boat, and as we cut off the engines, they curiously swam right up to us seeing what exactly was going on. It was so neat, and just such an incredible feeling to be surrounded by all these little heads bobbing in the water as the seals swam around us.

After a couple hours, we located one of three pods of whales that live in the area. It was so incredible to see them swimming by, in their natural habitat. A highlight for me was hearing them speak. The naturalist on board put a special microphone into the water that was hooked up to our p.a system, so that you could hear the whales communicating with each other. It was so cool. We even had one whale swim directly under our boat, and we could hear him making clicking sounds as we went by. It was so beautiful to be floating in the middle of this endless water, and all you can see in every direction are huge mountains tearing up the horizon, as a half dozen Orca whales swim all around you.

As we drove the hour back to the port, I stood at the back of the boat just basking in the sunshine, and taking in all the incredible landscape that we were passing by. I was (and still am) in just total awe and wonder and what I've seen. God is just so majestic...it's astounding and absolutely mind boggling. He is just such a mighty and great Lord...how people can doubt the wondrous works of an almighty creator is beyond me.

I am having a wonderful time out here, which is always the case whenever I visit. It's great spending time with my younger cousins, and just enjoying the fellowship of all my family out here. And of course, just spending lots of time reflecting and listening to God as I am away from all the hussle and bussle of Toronto. It's been interesting..but God is good, and is and will continue to take care of me. He's also been reminding me of just how much I have to be thankful for. From my incredible family (both in Toronto and out here), to just realizing all the amazing people I have in my life and the great friendships that I am privledged to have. I am blessed beyond anything I deserve to know the people that I do, and to have the love and friendships that are in my life.

Tomorrow a whole bunch of the family is heading down to White Rock for the afternoon, so that should be another wonderful day spent in this beautiful BC weather. Only four more days and then it's off to my second home, Saskatchewan.

Blessings!

Beautiful British Columbia

Beautiful indeed!! The last two or three times that I've flown out to Vancouver, there has always been an overcast..but not this time! My sister Dionne and I got the full incredible view of all the mountains and hills as we flew into BC last night..absolutely breathtaking!! So, we have arrived safe and sound..and I have survived yet another plane trip. I think my nerves are starting to get a bit stronger when it comes to riding airplanes, but I doubt that I will ever be fully calm with the take off and landing bits (Di graciously held my hand during those parts...and even put up with me almost jumping out of my seat when the plane dipped). But they did show "In Good Company" which was awesome because I really wanted to see it (and I thought that the ending was fantastic the way it was!).

We got picked up from the airport by our Uncle David, who is also from Toronto and had arrived earlier that day. We got to ride in the lap of luxury as he had rented a spiffy Cadillac..including butt warmer seats...which despite the fact that it was 18 degrees outside, I most definitely used!

It's been 2.5 years since Di has been out here, so all the fam was very glad to see her beautiful face. We had a few quiet moments with our grandparents, and with our aunt, before the energetic bunch of cousins arrived home. The twins (who are now 6..holy geez) played shy for all of 30 seconds, and then resumed normal status and were climbing all over us. Isabel is now 8, and Caitlin is 10 (and nearly the same height as me! Good glory!), and it was really awesome to get to see them again. We got flooded with pretty cards and pictures of flowers that they had drawn for us as a welcome present. So, overall a fantastic arrival night I'd say.

This morning, it is another beautiful clear day outside, and Di and I are just taking our time to relax in our pj's and enjoy some holiday time. I think we're going to go for a walk in a bit to enjoy the sunshine. Donna and my dad head out here to join us tomorrow, and then my mom and Bradley come out on Friday.

Tomorrow, my Uncle David is taking Di and I whale watching!! I'm so pumped! I've been out here loads of times, but never have been able to go...should be really exciting!

Oh..on a random note (Dad, this is for you). A few minutes after arriving, I took Di out to the back porch that leads out from my Grandparents part of the house, as she hadn't seen the extended bedroom that has been built there. When I was here in September I stayed in that room, and had left (for the second time) my cell phone charger there (since Sept I've had to use a car charger..). Before my dad left us at the airport I asked him if my family had ever found it, but he said no. So, just to make sure, I climbed over the bed, and dug out the extension cord that was there, and guess what was still plugged in? Yup..my cell phone charger. Had a couple laughs over that...and it's good to have it back again...so long as it actually comes home to Ontario with me this time...

Blessings!

(P.S. Everyone..please feel free to email me, as I'll have access to a computer over the next 3 weeks while I'm away!)

"Guaranteed to fail, every time"

My sister and I were working on a poster for Salvo Uprising this weekend, and Donna came across a very funny article in an old EDGE magazine..and I thought that I would share it...(I would LOVE to hear a Christian guy actually use these..classic!)

15 Christian Pickup Lines

1. Yeah, I predicted David over Goliath
2. Can I pray with you?
3. You know Jesus? Me too!
4. I know a church where we could go and talk.
5. Do you need help carrying your Bible? It looks heavy.
6. Christians don't shake hands, Christians gotta hug. (Donnas favourite)
7. Oh you are cold? Ecclesiastes 4:11, "But how can one keep warm alone?"
8. What are you plans tonight? Feel like a Bible study?
9. The Bible says to give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry. How about dinner?
10. You don't have an accountability partner? Me neither.
11. You want to come over and watch the Ten Commandments tonight?
12. Is it a sin that you stole my heart?
13. Would you happen to know a Christian woman that I could love with all my heart and wait on hand and foot?
14. Nice Bracelet. What would Jesus date...er...I mean 'do'?
15. My friend told me to come and meet you. He said that you are a really nice person. I think you know Him. Jesus...yeah, that's His name (by far my favourite! so great!)

Multiplicity

My sister and I got into an interesting discussion today, and I thought I would post some of our ramblings on here that we were conversing about.

A totally random question that we came up with...is it possible to like more then one person at a time?

Discount when you're a kid, as getting crushes on multiple people quite often happen. But what about when you're older, and you have more of a sense of what liking someone means (well, hopefully you do..) and are able to have more depth to your thoughts about why you might like the person that you do.

So..can you "like" more then one person at a given time?

The thought that we had (keeping in mind it's just a random thought, and not directed towards anyone)...

If you claim to have feelings for both person 'a' and person 'b' (and maybe a 'c' as well..) then doesn't the mere fact that you "like" multiple people prove that you really don't have strong enough feelings for just one of them as you aren't able to focus yourself on just one person..and really then, don't actually like either of them? Sure, they both might be swell people, and you can see the potential...but are you really capable of having true, genuine feelings for more then one person at the same time? And if you answer 'yes' to that question...then how serious can you really be about these people if they aren't even worth being the the soul focus of your attention and emotion? Hmm...

I think maybe my sister and I are just mind boggled at the thought of liking more then one guy at the same time...as liking just one at a time is more then enough to stress out the mind and cripple the emotions (lol).

So, not sure if anyone has any thoughts regarding this issue..but if you do..comment away! I'd love to hear it!

Placement Update

I had my placement interview yesterday morning for school in September. To sum it up...it was an amazing interview.

Right from when I walked into the room, I felt calm, relaxed, and confident. The lady interviewing me was really nice, and easy to talk to. She was really impressed by my work experience with the Children's Aid and my previous placements, and loved to hear that I had spent a lot of time this year that I took off of school volunteering. She brought in one of the CYW's to meet me, and she as well was extremly nice, and was excited about the prospect of me being there in the fall.

I was able to pick which age group I wanted to work with, so I choose the 12-14 year olds. A lot of the program is based on relationship building and implementing therapeutic goals for each student who is at this day treatment centre. There is a lot of one-to-one work, which I'm really excited about, because I loved getting to know kids and working with them on their goals.

I also get to wear jeans and runners every day, and I'm only there from 8-4...I am so excited!

I left the interview absolutly pleased, and I'm actually a bit excited for school to start in the fall!

There are still a couple minor details to work out, but overal, things are looking really good!

Thank you to everyone who has kept me in their prayers over the past few months regarding school!

Blessings!

Little Pink Tricycle

I think that I have finally recovered from my jet leg and starting to feel a little bit more normal and like myself again. It's always hard to adjust back to everyday life after traveling and having a bit of an adventure..but there are plenty of things to keep me busy here at home and to be looking forward to as the summer approaches.

I have to share a highlight of my weekend. Sunday evening while we were packing up the van after the 614 service in Regent Park, there were several kids out playing on the bikes. One little girl, who I think was about 4 years old, rode her little pink tricycle up to me and asked if I wanted to see how fast she could ride her bike. I answered with "of course!" and spent the next 10 minutes or so watching her demonstrate all her fabulous skills that she had mastered on her tricycle. She also told me about her siblings, her favourite colour, what school she goes to, and several other important conversation pieces that occupy the mind of a four year old. As the van finished being packed up, I told my new friend I had to go and that it was nice to meet her. She said "wait!" and insisted that I couldn't leave until she sang a song to me. So she got off her bike, walked over to me, and as I kneeled down to her height, she proceeded to sing the "I love you" Barney song to me, which absolutely melted my heart! After the song was finished I said thanks, gave her a hug and waved goodbye. Gotta love random moments that make your heart smile!

Tomorrow morning at 9:30am I have my interview for my school placement for the fall. Things were hectic before going to England, for myself and the lady who is interviewing me, so it's had to be put off this late. I am nervous about it, as although it's not a paid position..it is a very official interview and definitely extremely important for my school year in September. Please keep me in your prayers as I prepare for this, and that I will appear calm, confident, and a right fit for this placement position!

Well, I'm just finishing up my shift at work..so that's about it for now...

Blessings!

Home

Well, I'm home safe and sound (though a little jet-lagged) from my trip to England. I had an absolutly incredible time, and I'm so glad that I went! I met some amazing people who I miss already, and hope will come and visit Canada some day! I heard a lot from God and learned a lot about myself, and some things that I need to work on. As well, attending UK Roots was just an all together fabulous experience!

I'll write more later, as I'm a little tired right now, but if you want to see my pix from my trip just CLICK HERE.

Cheers!

Update from England

Hello from Southport England!

Well, just because my sister bugged me about it, I thought I'd put up a quick post!

I arrived in England safe and sound Thursday afternoon! Yay! I had some difficulties on the plane ride over though..as there was about half an hour of turbulance...and I don't really do well with that as anyone who knows me will know. So I popped in my Passion Hymns Cd and totally put my attention on the book I was reading and was able to remain calm for the most part (even though I didn't have you holding my hand Donna!) And then I almost missed my connecting flight in London as the airport is so huge and it took me about an hour to get from one plane to the other and go through immigration and all that jazz. But alas..I survived both flights and arrived in Manchester no worse for the wear.

I have been having an absolutly incredible time!! Right since I got here God's been really close and just telling me lots, which is so awesome! It has been so great getting to see Chris again, and catch up. I have been meeting a lot of really incredible people, having a lot of laughs, and sharing some great experiences (and learning some great British lingo!) I am taking lots of pictures (even though Chris keeps making fun of me and calling me a tourist...but thats what I am!) and trying to write down and keep track of as many memories that I can!

Roots is pretty incredible I must say. I am really enjoying being apart of the create team with Chris, and helping with a venue that uses art and different forms of prayer to allow people to draw close to God. We were a little unsure of how people would respond to our stations we set up, but things have been going really well, and God is just present in our create tent..so amen!

This afternoon we have the Roots Big Picnic..where they will be gathering all 5000 participants together for a time of games and such. As well, we will be attempting to break a world record, to raise awareness about Human Trafficking. We will be trying to have the largest group of people breaking balloons at the same time (and it has to be within 10 seconds!). I'll let you know how that works out!

Well, I guess that'll do for an update! And I'll write again when I can!

Cheers

Laugh..go on..you know you want to..

Over the past few days I've spent a lot of time laughing. Most of it was at the silliness and randomness of the company I was with...but it was definitely all good times and I enjoyed it immensely.

I have a friend who's said to me on more then one occasion that he doesn't take life too seriously, because too many people already do.

Do you ever get so caught up in what you're doing that you forget to smile? Does school, work, people, projects, or life take up so much of your time that you become grim faced and forget what laughter sounds like?

Deadlines are important...getting a paycheck is often vital...and getting projects in on time is definitely a good thing. But don't let that absorb up everything that you are, or became all you do.

It really is the simple things in life that make it worth living. And I know so many people say that, but do you actually live that out? Do you actually make the time for the simple things? The things that make you smile? The things that you know makes other people smile?

So if you can't recall the last time you let out a deep gut wrenching laugh, or you've forgottern how to curve your lips into that thing called a smile...take a break. Go smell the roses. Walk through the grass with no shoes on. Watch a funny movie. Spend time with people who make you tear up from laughing so hard.

Live life...or you're going to miss it.

I'm in His hands

I shall not fear though darkened clouds may gather round me;
The God I serve is one who cares and understands.
Although the storms I face would threaten to confound me,
Of this I am assured: I'm in his hands.

I'm in his hands, I'm in his hands;
Whate'er the future holds
I'm in his hands,
The days I cannot see
Have all been planned for me;
His way is best, you see;
I'm in his hands.

What though I cannot know the way that lies before me?
I still can trust and freely follow his commands;
My faith is firm since it is he that watches o'er me;
Of this I'm confident: I'm in his hands.

I'm in his hands, I'm in his hands;
Whate'er the future holds
I'm in his hands,
The days I cannot see
Have all been planned for me;
His way is best, you see;
I'm in his hands.

In days gone by my Lord has always proved sufficient,
When I have yielded to the law of love's demands;
Why should I doubt that he would evermore be present
To make his will my own? I'm in his hands!

I'm in his hands, I'm in his hands;
Whate'er the future holds
I'm in his hands,
The days I cannot see
Have all been planned for me;
His way is best, you see;
I'm in his hands.

Come Back Down

Staring right back in the face
A memory can’t be erased
I know, because I tried
Start to feel the emptiness and everything
I’m gonna miss I know,
that I can’t hide
All this time is passing by
I think its time to just move on

When you come back down
If you land on your feet
I hope you find a way to make it back to me
When you come around
I’ll be there for you
Don’t have to be alone
With what you’re going through

Start to breathe and fake a smile
Its all the same after a while
I know, that you are tired
Carrying the ones you lost
A picture frame with all the thoughts

I know, you hold inside
I hope that you can find your way back
To the place where you belong

When you come back down
If you land on your feet
I hope you find a way to make it back to me
When you come around
I’ll be there for you
Don’t have to be alone
With what you’re going through

You’re coming back down
You say you feel lost, can I help you find it
When you come around
From time to time we all are blinded

You’re coming back down
You don’t have to tell me what you’re feeling
I know what you’re going through
I wont be the one that lets go of you
I think its time to just move on

When you come back down
If you land on your feet
I hope you find a way to make it back to me
When you come around
I’ll be there for you
Don’t have to be alone
With what you’re going through

England Bound

Well, for anyone who hasn't heard yet...next Wednesday night I am flying out to England. I'm getting pretty excited about it, although the 7.5 hour flight over water doesn't quite thrill me!

I'm heading out to visit one of my favourite people in life, Tidd Rock, and also to be apart of UK Roots which is happening on April 29. I haven't been to England since I was 7, and don't remember too much of it (besides the wedding that I was in) so this should be good times for sure! I have the opportunity to help with the create team at Roots and lead some worship through art. I'm pretty pumped about it, although quite nervous because I've never really led any kindof worship before!

Please pray for me for a safe trip (as plane rides and I aren't the best of friends), and as well that Roots is just a really incredible experience for all involved!

Blessings!

The Many Faces of Joseph

I realized that I didn't have a lot of pictures of my 3 year old cousin and I....so we went camera crazy..and here is the results...

Here are our tounges

A forced 'happy' face

A couple of sad faces

There's no arguing that these are some scary faces...oh man...

In deep thought

Joseph's favourite way to say goodbye.."peace dude!"

Some classic Fonz.."Eehhh!"

Handle With Care

I love nothing more then a good conversation....and today was full of them.

I spent all three of my meals today with different people, in different locations...communicating about very different things. And in between those meals, I spent time with a couple other people, once again having some good chats about various different things.

One conversation has lingered the most for me in my mind, and I have spent a great deal of time since the chat, mulling over the words that we shared and the memories that the topic brought up for me.

It's interesting to notice how many people look back at decisions they've made in relationships with the opposite sex, and wish that they had done things so differently. I most definitly fit into this category.

When I recount for the different interactions and relationships I've had growing up I sometimes look back in regret, embarrassment, and disbelief. Did that really seem logical to me at the time? Was I really that blind? Was I really that trusting and gullible? Did I really set standards that low for myself?

I aim to not linger on the regret though. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that God can use a broken and horrible situation for His glory and for the betterment of the believer. I am the person I am today because of the situations I've gone through, and because of what my gracious and forgiving Father has taught me through my irrational and naive decisions.

Something I have learned over the past little while though, is how God never intended for these things to happen. Did you know that He never created our fragile and emotion filled heart to be broken? Did you know that He wants to guard your heart jealously until you have learned and grown enough that it can be trusted in the hands of someone else?

I wish I could drive that message into other girls who are currently finding themselves in the same situations that I was once in (I say girls..because I am one, so those are the experiences obviously that I had). Don't settle...don't be in a relationship with someone because you're lonely and seeking to fill the void. Not all guys are liars...not all guys will hurt you, use you, and break your heart. The Lord wants to make you a strong, confident, and mature woman of God. And eventually...you will meet that guy who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated...like a princess.

As ridiculous as it may sound to some (as it did to me growing up), trust God with your relationships. Trust God with that boy you think you need to be with. Trust God when you think all you need to be happy is a guy who tells you that you're wonderful and the best thing since sliced bread.

Trust God with your heart.

You Humble Me - Norah Jones

Went out on a limb
Gone too far
Broken down at the side of the road
Stranded at the outskirts and sun's creepin' up

Baby's in the backseat
Still fast asleep
Dreamin' of better days
I don't want to call you but you're all I have to turn to

What do you say
When it's all gone away?
Baby I didn't mean to hurt you
Truth spoke in whispers will tear you apart,
No matter how hard you resist it
It never rains when you want it to

You humble me Lord
Humble me Lord
I'm on my knees empty
You humble me Lord
You humble me Lord
Please, please, please forgive me

Baby Teresa got your eyes
I see you all the time
When she asks about her daddy
I never know what to say

Heard you kicked the bottle
And helped to build the church
You carry an honest wage
Is it true you have someone keeping you company?

What do you say
When it's all gone away?
Baby I didn't mean to hurt you
Truth spoke in whispers will tear you apart
No matter how hard you resist it
It never rains when you want it to

You humble me Lord
Humble me Lord
I'm on my knees empty
You humble me Lord
You humble me Lord
Please, please, please forgive me

Mission Jamaica Reunion

Yesterday afternoon/evening I got to spend several hours with my mission team family, as we had our Mission Jamaica reunion. It was a wonderful time as we shared memories, caught up with what everyone was doing now, and just enjoyed each others company again. Tons of photos were passed around and shared, and we watched a video from the trip that one of the girls had recorded. We even sang a song that had the lyrics re-written with memories from our trip. It was an incredible time, finished off with a devotion and a sharing of testimony's of the lasting impacts that the mission had for us.

I was given some new photos to add to my collection, so I thought I would share a few of my favourites that I received yesterday....

This one is a view of the house through the grass (obviously). Thats me in the white shirt, and Donna in the blue shirt. I thought it was a pretty cool view.

This is such a beautiful picture. I've talked so much about how the kids took care of each other, and this sums it up. All three of these kids are visually impaired to some degree, and the one on the right in the swing has a handicapped arm as well. Every single morning they would take turns pushing each other on the swing, and making sure they got on the swing safely. I love it..such incredible children.

This picture is classic!! This was nearing the end of our second rain day (which was in the first week), and we were asked to move from our job of sweeping all the water out of the building (that still had no roof) and become the fire brigade! So, with soaking wet wood, and the worst matches I've ever seen in my life (we used 3 packs!) we finally got a fire started! Yay for the log cabin method! (Although it was mostly me starting the fire, and my two lovely assistants watching and offering advice haha..so great!) It ended up getting so big, and the coals got so hot, we were able to keep this thing going for the rest of the trip! Pat is on the left, I'm in the middle, and Robynn is on the right.

Now..this picture..fantastic. (Laurie on the left, me on the right). I didn't know that this picture existed until it was handed to me yesterday! So here's the story..it was nearing the end of our second week of hard labour, and we were beyond tired! I had spent over 3 days of over 10 hours each day rolling paint onto ceilings, and was definitely looking for a change in jobs! So, the boys let me have the scaffolding to do the cutting in on the ceilings and some final touch ups. This was most definitely my favourite job on the trip because I absolutely loved climbing up on to this thing, and walking around on it so high up off of the ground. Anyways, Laurie and I had been touching up the rooms for a few hours, and it was getting pretty late, and we didn't want to start a new job. So..to lengthen the job that we had...we sang while we worked. We started out with some great old school Disney tunes from Little Mermaid to Aladdin..then moved right into Bon Jovi, Michael Jackson, and Cyndi Lauper. We were beyond exhausted, so we didn't care what people thought of us, and we sang our little hearts out! We even got in some nice dance moves while walking across the scaffolding! It was some fantastic times, and apparently the entire work site could hear us! We even ended up getting people popping their heads into the room and requesting songs for us to sing. So..somewhere in the 3 hours of our singing and painting, someone took this picture. I don't know if the picture really does it justice, but I am singing my heart out and having the time of my life! Love it!

What becomes of the brokenhearted...

I spent some time tonight in a bar/restaurant at Parliament and Dundas called My Town. I had joined 614 for their prayer walk, and my group and I headed out to spend some time in prayer and meditation at this particular location. It was definitly an interesting experience. This joint attracks quite the arrange of people...age wise, job wise, and culturally. The walls are covered with flags from different countries, quite a few sombreros, and there are plants hanging down over the bar. The look is quite unique for this part of Regent as it seems that the owners have tried to keep this place a cleaner, safer and brighter establishment then is usually found in this area.

One thing that really hit me was the loneliness of the place. It is a place where the lonely and broken come to sit, and dwell in their circumstances. Someone in my group mentioned that people seem to long to be recognized...to know that someone is noticing them, and their lives have some sort of meaning. So these lonely souls come to sit in a "public" place in the desperate hope that someone might notice their existence...that their empty lives might actually mean something. Even the music that played on the jukebox reflected the emptiness and brokenness that was embodied in those who sat in this place.

After leaving My Town and heading back to our starting point, we prayed continuously for the place that we just left. I found myself getting emotional as I asked God to be there for these lonely souls. That even if they've never experienced God in any way, that He would sit with them...that He would hold their hands...that He would stare back into those empty lives and go straight deep into the very broken hearts of who they are. We asked God's presence to be in and all around My Town as we made an effort in Jesus' name to take back this location for Him...that this would be another broken dark corner that God would reach His beautiful and incredible everlasting light into and rescue those in the bondage of loneliness.

This night has really caused me to reflect on myself. Earlier today I had thoughts of loneliness cross my mind...those are gone now as I realize how wrong I have been. Not only am I surrounded by a lot of family and people who are a constant support...I have God. Even in my most lonely moments, when I thought that no one understood, and I cried out to God for his love and strength...at least I knew I had the Lord. I can honestly not even picture the pain and hurt that would bury itself deep in my soul and scar my heart if I did not have the love of Christ in me...if I did not know that no matter what comes along, I will never be completely alone because I have God on my side.

I pray that God will reach those who sit, even now, in My Town and other establishments with their drinks sitting in front of them as their only comfort...as they wait desperately and bitterly to be recognized..to feel that their life means something to someone...anyone.

Lord use me to be a light for You..may I be a "Jesus person" in places that don't know Your name..

Be Blessed

What makes you smile?

The man who plays the steel drum at Main Station

Strong bad emails

My 3 year old cousin when he sings me a song about a pinecone

A beautiful sunset...even a Toronto one

When my Grandma says "it's only because I love you.."

Watching the muppets

My cat when she sleeps at the foot of my bed..even though I kick her while I sleep

White Hot Chocolate from Second Cup

Walking along the rocks at the beach

A sincere compliment

Getting a letter/email from someone I haven't heard from in a while

Watching the kids in Regent Park worship

Star spinning

My uncle when he calls me "Esther-fester-bester-tester"

Spring time

When I sing hairbrush karoke with Jessica

Camp

A walk in the rain

When I'm dancing around my room to Great Big Sea

A good conversation

When I"m watching Donna sing her heart out to a song..and then she notices that I'm watching

A hug from a friend

Walking outside barefoot

Reading Lord of the Rings

Peanut butter and chocolate ice cream

When I hear "I love you" from someone I know means it

A pillow fight

Dionne when she's had too much sugar or not enough sleep..or both

When I eat banana bread

When my brother gives me a hug hello when he gets home from school

Pay day

Wearing PJ pants

A thunderstorm

Hanging out with good friends

Visiting Saskatchewan

When people freak out over the tunnels in my ears

Going through my highschool yearbooks

Sandel weather

Will Farrell

Crusin' to Country with Chantelle

My squad kids

When I remember that nothing about me is a mistake, but exactly the way God intended me to be...and He loves me just the way I am

What makes you smile?

"Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God-- soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God." -Psalm 42:5 (MSG)

You and me

I have a new favourite song right at this moment, and I FINALLY found out who sings it and what it was called tonight while I was driving. So I thought I would post the lyrics..although you really have to hear the song to do it justice. It's a sweet one! Love it!

You and Me - Lifehouse

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

Sunshine and Birthdays

Ever have one of those days that you are just glad to be alive? And that between you and God things were in control and life is fantastic? Well...I had one of those days today! Although it probably had a lot to do with the absolutely beautiful sunshine that was out!

I saw Million Dollar Baby last night...finally. I think I was one of the last dozen people who had yet to see it. But it's an awesome flick. It really had a huge message about dreams, and accomplishing your goals in life. It was pretty powerful...just emphasizing how important it is to have dreams, and to not just set out to accomplish them, but to keep at it until you fulfill them. Life is pretty short...and you only get one shot at it. Anything you're missing out on? Are you limiting your imaginative scope and selling yourself short? Hmmm....

Well, it's past midnight..so...Happy Birthday to my dad!! He is the most incredible father I could have ever hoped for, and I really have no idea where I would be without him! Dad...thank you for always keeping your faith in me, even when you knew the decisions I was making weren't right. Thank you for being a strong rock for me to lean and depend on in absolutely every situation that came along, even if I didn't always seem appreciative! Thank you for getting to me where I am today, and I look forward to everything that is still to come! I hope you have an incredible day! Muah!

Blessings!

Perfect Love

"We all need improvement, but we don't need to woo God's love. We change because we already have God's love. God's perfect love. Perfect love is just that - perfect, a perfect knowledge of the past and a perfect vision of the future. You cannot shock God with you actions. There will never be a day that you cause him to gasp, 'Whoa, did you see what she just did?' God knows your entire story, from first word to final breath, and with clear assessment declares, 'You are mine.'

Trust God's love. His perfect love. Don't fear he will discover your past. He already has. Don't fear disappointing him in the future. He can show you the chapter in which you will. With perfect knowledge of the past and perfect vision of the future, he loves you perfectly in spite of both."

-Come Thirsty, Max Lucado

Thank you Lord that there is NOTHING that I have ever done, or ever can do that will but a barrier between me and your love! I will never surprise you, for you know every mistake I will ever make, and yet you will love me anyway! You delite in me, and I praise you for that!

Amen!

Glorious!

"When the sun hits the trees just right...these hills sing.."

- Pacha, The Emperor's New Groove

Did anyone else see that incredible sunset tonight? Beautiful! Even in this city you can still see God's majesty. Love it!

Be Blessed!

School

I've got my placement!

My teacher phoned me today to let me know about school. At first it seemed the news was bad, as she said I would have to wait another week and a half as she has to make sure everyone else has their placement first. But then just before hanging up, a thought occurred to her. She remembered that there was one placement that was really good, but the person who was supposed to get it, backed out. So, do I want it, she asked.

It's a placement at a day treatment facility for ages 12-18 with the Jewish Family Services. My teacher informed me they needed someone who is mature, outgoing, hardworking, and will be able to appreciate and respect the rules that the Jewish culture lives by. So I said I fit into that category and would love this placement! So, my teacher is getting things worked out for me on the asap, and hopefully I'll have an interview set up soon!

Thank you to those who were praying about my placement and school! I feel really excited about this, as I think I've grown a lot over the last year and a bit, and this is a good fit for me! As well its a day treatment placement..so no shift work! Can I get an amen?!

God is good!

Humbled by Your Majesty

Man oh man...does God have a sense of humour.

Do you ever feel like the big guy is just looking down and smiling at you as you attempt to wrap your mind around exactly what His plan is for your life? Nothing mean or malicious of course..but He's just smiling and lightly chuckling as our childlike minds try to ponder through the challenges and interesting turns that our lives may take. I think this thought sums up my past week and a half..gotta love it!

Anyways, heres a song that is one of my favourite worship songs, and was meditating on earlier today. Enjoy!

Blessings

Majesty

Here I am,

humbled by Your majesty,

Covered by Your grace so free.

Here I am,

knowing I'm a sinful man,

Covered by the blood of the Lamb.

Now I've found

The greatest love of all is mine,

since You laid down Your life,

the greatest sacrifice.

Majesty, Majesty.

Your grace has found me just as I am,

Empty-handed but alive in Your hands.

Here I am,

humbled by the love that You give,

Forgiven so that I can forgive.

So here I stand,

knowing that I am Your desire,

Sanctified by glory and fire.

And now I've found

the greatest love of all is mine,

Since You laid down Your life,

the greatest sacrifice.

Majesty, Majesty.

Your grace has found me just as I am,

Empty-handed but alive in your hands.

Singing Majesty, Majesty.

Forever I am changed by Your love,

In the presence of Your Majesty. Majesty.

We're singing Majesty, Majesty.

Your grace has found me just as I am,

And I'm nothing but alive in Your hands.

We're singing Majesty, Majesty.

Forever I am changed by Your love,

In the beauty of Your Majesty.

Majesty.

He Lives

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow

Because He lives, all fear is gone

Because I know, He holds the future

And life is worth the living

Just because He lives

Family Pix - Birthday Dinner

Here's some updated pix of me and my fam for those of you reading this blog who haven't seen us for a while!


Here is the twins and I...


The boys...


Mom and I...

Happy Easter!

It's the end of March already...where has this year gone?

It's been a pretty busy last week or so as I spent last weekend up at Jacksons with about 80 Regent Park kids, and then spent this week helping with the March Break daycamp down in Regent Park. But I love camp, and these kids are absolutely awesome, so I've loved every minute of it. It's going to be weird having Monday come, and not having any kids to spend the day hanging out with. But I do have a few shifts coming up next week at work, so thats something to look forward to.

I had the privledge last night of attending a Good Friday Passover meal and then an outdoor candlelight service with singing and prayer down in Regent with the 614 Corps. It was a pretty cool night just taking the time to remember how important this weekend is. I don't have a lot of great Easter memories I realized last night, besides just it being a weekend that we used to have family Easter egg hunts when we were kids. But I think it's because growing up I never really let it sink it what exactly this weekend meant, and how important it really is. It's unfortunate how easily it can become redundant and we forget how beautiful and valid the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is. But I had a few really cool moments last night with God, which is always awesome, and I'm looking forward to tomorrow, when we celebrate the resurrection of our living God.

In a couple days (Tuesday) I have to call my school to find out if I've gotton a placement for my third year of school in September. When I went for my meeting last week, my teacher informed me that I am "out of sequence" because I took this year off, and I will be placed last because of that. So, I'm trying not to think or worry about any of it, and just let God take care of that whole matter for me. I've been thinking about September a lot over the past couple of weeks, and I think that God is going to reveal to me soon exactly what needs to happen....so continued prayer over school and the fall would be much appreciated!

I've realized over the past few days how weak I can become when I turn my focus from God. I've grown a lot over this past year in my relationship with God and have learned to trust Him over a specific area that I've struggled with my whole life. But it's interesting how easily I can slip up as soon as I try and take control and turn from the guidance of the Lord. I'm really trying to get myself back on track in this particular area over the Easter weekend and give it all back to God. I just need to remember to be humble and find all my strength, completeness, happiness and confidence in Jesus first and foremost...

Blessings this Easter weekend!

The Last Supper - Luke 22

Then came the day of Unleavened Bread on which the Passover lamb had to be sacrificed. Jesus sent Peter and John, saying, “Go and make preparations for us to eat the Passover.”

“Where do you want us to prepare for it?” they asked.

He replied, “As you enter the city, a man carrying a jar of water will meet you. Follow him to the house that he enters, and say to the owner of the house, ‘The Teacher asks: Where is the guest room, where I may eat the Passover with my disciples?’ He will show you a large upper room, all furnished. Make preparations there.”

They left and found things just as Jesus had told them. So they prepared the Passover.

When the hour came, Jesus and his apostles reclined at the table. And he said to them, “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. For I tell you, I will not eat it again until it finds fulfillment in the kingdom of God.”

After taking the cup, he gave thanks and said, “Take this and divide it among you. 18For I tell you I will not drink again of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.”

And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”

In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you. But the hand of him who is going to betray me is with mine on the table. The Son of Man will go as it has been decreed, but woe to that man who betrays him.” They began to question among themselves which of them it might be who would do this.

You look like a monkey, and you smell like one too...

So, although it snowed today (boo snow!), I'm still cheery because...it's my birthday today! yay!

It's actually been a pretty awesome birthday, I must say!

Started out with coming upstairs to my living room floor being covered in "Happy 2nd!" birthday balloons, and streamers randomly all over the place which was really awesome! I even got a balloon with "Esther is 22" written in Elvish! Totally fabulous! As well as having some glass peppers hidden in my kitchen that I got to look for. So thank you Daryl and Matt Percy for those gems and for decorating my house! Great start to the day!

And what better way to spend a birthday then to be hanging out with kids all day? I can't think of anything! I was down for the third day of our March Break daycamp down in Regent Park, and had another fun filled day (even if the weather was a little chilly). And, I even got a birthday cake at lunch time! So awesome! Not to mention that I also got attacked by all the boys as they gave me birthday beats..got some nice bruises on my arm (~shakes fist at Matt~ :P)

I also enjoyed a wonderful birthday dinner with my sisters, brother and parents. Always a good time!

Oh! And I finally got a hard guitar case! YAY! Humidity will bother my guitar, no more!

Thanks to everyone for the ecards too! I got some pretty cheesy ones...sooo great! My favourite one I think was with a piece of cake, a candle, a plate and a fork all walk onto the screen and they're so excited because theres going to be a party! And then slowly they all stop cheering..except for the cake..and then he looks around..and realizes that he's about to be eaten..and the plate licks his lips (oh yes..he has lips!) and then it ends. Oh man..too funny..I love it!

So...another year has passed. And I've got the infamous "feel any older and wiser?" from every member of my family that sent me birthday greetings today. I think I feel older. Although apparently I don't look it (one of the kids at the daycamp told me they thought I turned 19, and another said she thought I had turned 17...wow...).

But I think the year of being 21 was a good run. I think I've learned and grown more in this past year, then many of my other years combined. I gave up dating for a year...and lived to talk about it! I took this year off of school...and have survived. I took on a leadership role at camp in the summer, and didn't have a nervous breakdown. I've taken the biggest chances, leaps of faith, blind walks, and steps out of hope that I've ever done in my entire life....and you know what? God is good! It's an amazing thing when you finally trust Him with things...when you step out on that ledge and jump, knowing that no matter what happens, He's going to catch you. It was like God was waiting my entire life for me to finally scoot over from the drivers seat and let him take the wheel....and when I did...man oh man...good things happened!

Thank you God for allowing me to see my 22nd birthday! Wasn't always sure I'd survive my teenage years, let alone get here! But I praise You because my life is blessed, full of love, hope, and fulfilled promises!

Amen!

The Freshness of Wintergreen

Just wanted to share my favourite random moment of the day.

While down in Regent Park for the March Break day camp, we were on a recess break, and 4 of the leaders took the kids out to the park. Meanwhile, me and several other leaders found ourselves severely addicted to the wintergreen lifesavers that we had with us. I mentioned that if you're in the dark and bite these minty candies, you will see sparks. Sooo...what did we do? The obvious of course. Shannon, Becka, Maeva, Denise, Cheryl and I crammed into the little washroom, turned off the lights, and each took turns chomping the lifesavers and creating green sparks in our mouths. Good times had my all! Love it!

Keep Smiling!

All things are possible

I had the divine opportunity this past weekend to once again attend the March Break camp for Regent Park kids. I definitely had a bit of a different perspective this year, but still enjoyed it just the same. I was a bit disappointed at first at the fact I wasn't put into a cabin, as I wasn't sure what I was going to do with all the free time I would have. But my schedule got quickly filled up as I was asked to help with and lead different activities, as well as to help out with the youngest boys cabin. Man oh man...cutest kids ever!

It's always so humbling and incredible to hang out with the Regent Park kids. My favourite part of hanging out with these guys is the worship time. You'll never see a group of youth worship like these guys do. Hands raised, eyes closed, just jumping and dancing. And what is the most touching is that you know that they're being impacted and seeds are being planted. Their worship to God is real, vivid and raw...and just so beautiful to witness.

My favourite moment of the weekend was having two of my squad kids, who are both 7 and just adorable, tell me that they wanted to ask Jesus into their lives. I held the tears in that welled up, and helped them write down this request onto a paper that they could stick up on the cross that was at the front of the Bible room. I know that this doesn't mean that they are going to be perfect children...but I do know that God is taking care of them, and in some way a part of their lives, and that is an awesome thing.

My other favourite moments were when these normally tough acting kids would let down their guard, even if just for a second, and you could see something incredibly beautiful there. I saw one of these moments when another one of my squad kids was with our nature group out in the woods looking at tracks. He normally puts up a tough front and wants to impress the kids around him, so he was walking a bit ahead of the group, pretending not to pay attention. But then as the group stopped walking and was listening to information about hibernation about snakes, this tough acting little boy looked back at the group and shouted "I found some tracks!......I think they're deer tracks!....I think they're fresh...there's no snow covering them!" I don't know if anyone else noticed, but it definitely made me smile as I knew he was letting down his "I'm too cool for this" image and actually taking something in.

I think it's when these kids start to trust you, and get a little attached (although they might not admit it) and you get to see them for the pure, honest and beautiful children that they are...it just fills your heart with such incredible joy. There is nothing like it...it's like a little piece of Heaven.

I got to spend the hour bus ride home with a exhausted 6 year old passed out and curled up in a ball on my lap, and another 8 year old boy beside me, also passed out and using my arm for a pillow. What an overall rewarding weekend...to have gotten to share a few days with these children and to really have them bless me. It was like hanging out with 79 little Jesus warriors. They might not say all the right things, or make all the right choices all the time...but they're real and they're honest, and God is definitely working on something great for all of them.

And now that I'm finally showered...in some clean clothes...and no longer smelling like eleven 6 year old boys...I think it's time to catch some Z's....

True Colours

I see your true colors, shining through
I see your true colors, that’s why I love you
So don’t be afraid, to let them show
true colors, true colors, beautiful...

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Though I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world, full of people
You can lose sight of it
And the darkness, inside you makes you feel so small

And I see your true colors, shining through
I see your true colors, that's why I love you
So don't be afraid, to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
Beautiful, ooh like a rainbow

Show me your smile and
Don't be unhappy, can't remember when
I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
Just call me up, because you know I'll be there

And I see your true colors, shining through
I see your true colors, and that's why I love you
So don't be afraid, to let them show
True colors, true colors
Are beautiful, ooh like a rainbow

Such sad eyes
Take courage now, realize
When this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
Just call me up, Because you know I'll be there
And I see your true colors, shining through

I see your true colors, that's why I love you
So don't be afraid, to let them show
True colors, true colors, true colors are shining through
I see your true colors, that's why I love you
So don't be afraid, to let them show
Your True colors, true colors, true colors
Are beautiful, So beautiful, like a rainbow

True colors...

Prayer Request

I just have a small prayer request...

Tomorrow morning I am meeting up with a teacher from my college. I took this year off of school, and I am hoping to return in September to finish up my program. There is a small chance I won't be able to get in, due to the fact there seems to be a lot of students going for third year in the fall.

I am nervous about going to the school, as it's a different campus, and much larger, then the one I spent my first two years at. As well, the teacher is kindof intimidating. I am also nervous about if I do get back in for September, where my placement is going to be. I really want it to be a place where I can grow and learn more, and God wants me to be, and also (hopefully) a place that has day hours and not shift work, so that I can still continue to some activites that I'm involved in.

I know that whatever happens, God is going to take care of it, and I have my full confidence in that. It's just the anticipation and waiting that makes it a little difficult.

So...please pray for me tomorrow morning. Thanks.

Blessings!

National Memorial for Four Fallen RCMP Officers

“Peter told me a year ago: ‘Dad, if something ever happens to me, I want people to hear about Jesus and to hear about hope.' Constable Peter Schiemann, my son, I carried out your wish this afternoon … Peter, we will see you in heaven. But we can hardly wait.”

Peter was one of the four RCMP Officers killed last week in the tradegy that has struck Canada.

His father got up in front of an audience of hundreds tonight, on national television, and told everyone that through Jesus Christ we have hope. Although no one can fully understand the pain and loss that they are experiencing right now...God can..because he also lost a son. He gave the world Jesus, and through him, we can have hope. And it's this hope that will get him through the loss of his son. And it's hope that lets him know that he'll see his son again some day....

Praise the Lord that through this horrific event God's name is being called out, and people are seeking Him.

Continue to keep the family of the four officers in your prayers as they struggle to understand and get through these difficult times.

Click here to read the City Pulse article regarding the memorial service.

YAY!!

Yay for answers to prayer!!

Congrats to my dad who has been waiting expectently for the past couple of weeks, to hear the news as to whether or not he would get a new job position....and just found out that he has it!!

After 22 years of shift work, my dad finally gets a steady job of 7-3! I'm so excited that we'll get to see him every night on a regular basis!

Definitly made my day!

Thank you Lord for this answer to prayer..

Blessings!

P.S Happy Birthday Dustin!

Passion

"Passion is a word approached with fear by Christians. Our first thoughts are often towards physical passions and the dangers they bring. But passions are also gifts from God. Passions for the things of God and the work of the Body.

We can inflame passions, quench passions, ignore passion and some try to kill passions. I believe it is within our passions that God often reveals the gifts he has provided.

Paul had a passion for the people of Israel. His fellow Jews so filled his heart he desired eternity away from God to bring them salvation. This passion was honored by God to make Paul a tool to reach the Gentiles.

David was filled to overflowing with a passion for God and music. These worked together to provide history with songs of praise, worship and adoration for the creator of the universe.

Where are our passions today? What sits upon our heart and brings out emotions of love, desire and a need to accomplish? For me one of my God given passions is for music. I can be moved through well crafted and heart filled music. Where logic would fail to reach my heart, music waltzes in and moves my heart to dance."

- Dr. Robert Chick

Being Jesus...

"Being Jesus is a discipline of action. If I truly want to be present as Jesus was and is, I must choose to act in very specific ways. Theory, or doctrinal correctness, is not enough. Seeing Jesus is a discipline of stillness. If I really want to see him, I'll need to avoid being consumed by trying always to do things in his name, and I'll need to learn to be motionless, intent on beholding what is in front of me. These two disciplines are often in tension with each other; it's difficult to be still and active at the same time. But they strengthen different sets of spiritual muscles, and each discipline ultimately benefits the other.

Being Jesus requires that I choose to be actively present. Seeing him means that, paradoxically, in my being present, I must choose the stillness of being hidden - that is, rather than being focused on what I am doing, and seeking attention for it, I must be actively looking to see how Jesus is presenting himself in and through others. Being present the way Jesus was means that I have to abandon my own power. And seeing him in others teaches me the power of abandonment. Being Jesus is a call to give my life, as he himself indicated when he called us to pick up our crosses. But seeing Jesus opens me up to a new way to live, to a resurrected life."

(God In The Alley - Greg Paul)

Does God's grace define you?

"God saved you by his special favor when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it." - Eph. 2:8-9

I've read this passage before, but for some reason it stuck out to me today when I came across it.

It's sad how easily we can get caught up in doing good works, or boasting about what a fabulous Christian we are, or judge others based on if they're following the rules and guidelines we think have to be followed in order to be in God's favor. And the truth is, we have absolutely no right at all to boast, gloat, or brag that because of some good deed that we did, or because we attend church, or because we wear a WWJD bracelet, that we are going to get to Heaven. It is the accepting of God into our lives, and by His grace alone that we are saved.

I think that sometimes I get discouraged about the kind of Christian that I am. I may have someone say to me that they really see God working in my life through the leadership roles that I'm involved in..and I must say, it makes me feel good to know that. But then how quickly I get discouraged when I see and compare myself to another youth stepping up and being recognized for all the fabulous works that they are doing. I know that it is a horrible thing for me to compare myself to those around me, especially when it comes to my relationship with God...but I still fall victim to it on occasion.

As bad a thought as this might be, sometimes it almost seems that in order for someone to have a "recognized" solid relationship with God, they need to be "known" for their good works...for all the events, retreats or meetings they attend...for all the leadership roles that they are in...for all of their fantastic talents that are being used for the ministry of the kingdom. I'm not saying that it matters whether or not people know who I am or what I do in order for me to have a strong relationship with God...but it's interesting how people base their opinion about someone in regards to their "Christian walk" on how involved in things they are and how common their name is in the church circle. I think this is something I sometimes find being within the Salvation Army circle (not meant to offend...but just my thoughts...)

I think I sometimes find it difficult just to be content with the fact that I am saved. That even though I have done nothing to earn God's grace, and I'm just a stupid human who does all the wrong things...He died for me anyways because of His abounding love for all that I am. So simple really, but so difficult to wrap my mind around sometimes.

I may become discouraged when I stop and compare myself to the youth around me in the Salvation Army who can play the cornet and guitar far better then me..can sing in a worship band better and with more confidence then I ever will be able to..can use their skills of art or drama in ways that I can only admire.......but then I'm just reminded that it wasn’t by any of these things or any other acts or good deeds that earned me God's grace or my spot in Heaven. Nothing, absolutely nothing I can do will ever make me deserve salvation..yet I have it...because I've asked God into my life. I'm already in...no need to try and impress or pretend that I'm something that I'm not.

I know that I have things about me, and talents that God has blessed me with that make me unique...I trust the Lord that He has a plan for my life, and a plan to use me just as I am. It's just been a matter of me coming to the realization that as great as "good works" are...as great as traditions, rules, and guidelines are...none of those got any one into heaven. So why is so much more time, energy, and effort put into those..then just putting the emphasis on the fact that Jesus came to save, and through God's grace we will have eternity?

"Grace blockage. Taste but don't drink. Wet your lips, but never slake your thirst. Can you imagine such instruction over a fountain? 'No swallowing please. Fill your mouth but not your belly.' Absurd. What good is water if you can't drink it? And what good is grace if you don't let it go deep?

Do you? What image best describes your heart? A water drenched kid dancing in front of an open fire hydrant? Or a bristled desert tumbleweed? Here is how you know. One question. Does God's grace define you? Deeply flowing grace clarifies, once and for all, who we are.
You know you aren't who they say you are. You are who God says you are. Spiritually alive. Heavenly positioned. Connected to the Father. A billboard of mercy. An honored child.

In His hands, a mistake becomes a masterpiece.

Who determines your identity? What defines you? The day you were dropped? Or the day you were carried to the King's table?" (Max Lucado - Come Thirsty)

"By the grace of God I am what I am." - 1 Cor 15:10

Tell Him

Let me be patient
Let me be kind
Make me unselfish
without being blind
Though I may suffer, I'll envy him not
and endure what comes
Cause He's all that I got
And tell Him...

Tell Him I need Him
Tell him I love Him and it'll be alright
Tell him I need Him
Tell Him I love Him
It'll be alright

Now I may have faith to make mountains fall
But if I lack love then I have nothing at all
I can give away everything I possess
But am without love then I have no happiness
I know I'm imperfect and not without sin
But now that i'm older all childish things end

Tell Him I need Him
Tell him I love Him and it'll be alright
Tell him I need Him
Tell Him I love Him
It'll be alright

I'll never be jealous and I won't be too proud
Cause love is not boastful
And love is not loud
Tell him need him
Tell him I love him
Everything is gonna be alright

Now I may have wisdom and knowledge on earth
But if I speak wrong then what is it worth
See what we now know is nothing compared
To the love I was shown when our lives were spared
and tell Him...

Tell Him I need Him
Tell him I love Him and it'll be alright
Tell him I need Him
Tell Him I love Him
It'll be alright

-Lauryn Hill

Unwell

All day
Staring at the ceiling
Makin' friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
that I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
and I don't know why

Well I'm not crazy
I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me

I'm not crazy
I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Me,
talking to myself in public
And dodging glances on the train
And I know
I know they've all been talkin' bout me
I can hear them whisper

And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinkin
Somehow I've lost my mind

Well I'm not crazy
I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me

I'm not crazy
I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talkin in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're takin' me away

Well I'm not crazy
I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy
I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Yeah, How I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

So good to me!

Tonight I was at Teheilla youth service, and really enjoyed some fantastic praise and worship.

One song we ended up on for a good 20-30 minutes is the song "So good to me." It's kindof a cheesy song, and we used it at camp for the kids, but with the worship band going all out on it, it was awesome.

The guy who was leading the worship kept repeating that we need to just grasp that God really is so good to us! We can't wait until he gives us the car we've always wanted, or a huge cash deposit, or something incredibly wonderful and fantastic to happen before we say that our God is good! We need to be thankful for the beat up car that we might have that gets us from A to B...for the food that we have to put in our mouths...for the friends who really do like us for who we are...for the family who stick by us through thick and thin...for the clothes (however out of style) we have to put on our bodies...and just for the fact that we have our next breath! Everyone at the service just began to lift up their praises and thank God for all the tiny small things that we take for granted in our lives! It was so awesome! It became a huge praise party as everyone danced and shouted and sang our thanks to the Lord! It was so beautiful and just so uplifting! Oh man...loved it! My cheeks just hurt by the time we finished singing our worship to God because I was just beaming! How can you help but smile when you think of all the glorious and beautiful things that God has done for us?

Lord, You are so good to me!

I thank You for the roof over my head

I thank You for my 3 beautiful siblings who get me through everything, and have You flowing through their lives

I thank You for the love my parents have for me...and how they raised me

I thank You for all of my extended family...even though we don't always understand each other

I thank You that I don't go hungry

I thank You that I have way more then enough clothing to keep me warm and my body covered

I thank You that I have relationships in my life with people who truly understand me and love me for who I am

I thank You that I have a job that I LOVE

I thank You that I have a church that I can call home, where I feel loved and welcomed

I thank You for all the opportunities I have to interact with children and impact them to help them know You better

I thank You that I have eyes to see and ears to hear

I thank You that I can afford public transit

I thank You for all of my precious memories, my incredible experiences, and that I have lived a wonderful and blessed life

I thank You for the relationship that I have with You, from which I draw all my strength

Lord...You are so good to me!

Amen!

Blessings!