It has begun!

Well, it's been absolutly ages since I've posted, so I thought it was about time I did.

I have survived my first week of Order 614. I've taken a few photos that have some of my team mates in them, so check those out on my msn space. I'll take a video tour of where I'm living soon, and post that up as well.

One of my biggest worries was about having a roommate. I was bound and determined that I was not going to have one, and spent a lot of time complaining about it the week or two leading up to the start of my program (sorry Matt!). But, God is good, and took care of everything.
I am rooming with a 17 year old from Perth, named Chloe. She is an absolutly beautiful soul, and has already in the past week been such a huge strength for me. She is just totally on fire for God and is such an inspiration to me. She's really been challenging my way of thinking and keeps me accountable in my relationship with God. We knew that we'd get along just fine when it was realized we're both deeply in love with Anchorman, and the quotes work themselves into pretty much every conversation we have.

This past week there's been some team building days, and some training sessions. I'm starting to get to know downtown Melbourne a bit more, and can find my way around better every day. Starting on Monday I've got a week packed full of training sessions...so not too excited about that, but I know it's all things that I need to learn.

The team I'm on is great, and overal everyone has been a really good support making sure I fit in and that I'm doing okay. It's looking to be a very amazing year. I'll do my best to update when I get to a computer, and keep looking for more pictures as I post them.

Just to finish off, I have to give a shout out to an absolutly hilarious blog that deserves a read if you get a chance. It's from the brilliant mind that is Matthew Atkins, so click here to have a look. It's definitely not to be taken seriously, but is good for a laugh, and you've got some creativity in you, leave a comment.

Blessings!

Some Tag Action

Well, THE fantastic and fabulous Ashley Elliott has given me a little tag-a-roo....so here goes nothing.

Four jobs I’ve had:
Sales person at Crafters Marketplace - a vendors craft store that closed about 2 months after I started working there. Good old Warden Power Centre!
Sales associate at Old Navy
Working at camp for 6 summers
Subsitute and Relief worker at Richardson Residence for Children's Aid

Four movies I can watch over & over:
Ever After
Anchorman
Shag
Shawshank Redeption

Four places I’ve lived:
My townhouse in East York, Ontario where I've lived my whole life
Beaver Creek Camp in Saskatchewan for 2 months, summer of 2000
Camp Wabana for 5 summers (Sutton, Ontario..good ol' S dot)
A hostel in Sunshine Australia, where i'll be this year.

Four TV shows I love:
CSI
Law and Order SVU
Star Trek TNG
Amazing Race

Four places I’ve vacationed:
Vancouver, BC
PEI
Conference Centre at Jacksons Point...don't get no better then that!
Lake Placid

Four of my favourite dishes::
Chicken stir fry
Chicken wrap from Jawny Bakers..yummm...
Cashew Chicken and pad thai noddles from Green Mango
All different varieties of curry chicken

Four sites I visit daily:
Hotmail
Homestar Runner
My blog - then to all my friends blogs linked from it
Google

Four places I’d rather be right now:
Well...I'm in Australia...so I don't have much else right now lol
But I guess, either a very fast route home to see all the family and friends that I miss
Backpacking Europe
New Zealand

Four bloggers I’m tagging:

Jessica Hynes
Matt Atkins
Donna Halsey
Dionne Halsey

(P.S. VERY good trip to Apollo Bay this past weekend...check out the pix on my msn space. And yahhhhh..definitely forgot the sunscreen again. Upper arms burnt hard core..bringing the grand total to FOUR sunburns now. I think I've peeled more in the past 3 weeks then the past 10 years of my life. Gross....)

Happy Australia Day!

Well, the sunburn count is now up to three...but I've nearly recovered from the severe one I got on my back, and I think I'm slowly learning to be sun smart. I'll get there eventually I'm sure.

This week I went to the Melbourne Zoo. Finally got to see some Australian animals! (Believe it or not, kangaroos aren't just running wild every where you look.) Oh, Dionne and Donna...I definitely bought a kangaroo crossing sign at the zoo gift shop!

Things are still going well here on this side of the world. Yesterday I woke up to find that a package from my family had come. Definitely made my week! My favourite part of it was the t-shirt that included messages and favourite bible verses from my siblings, parents, grandparents, cousin, aunts and uncles. I'll be putting that up on my wall when I move into my house in Sunshine! It did make me feel homesick and I had kindof an off day...but I'm just trying to not let myself dwell on how much I miss my family.

The weather continues to be on a hot streak, as Sunday was 43 degrees, and today is pushing 40. But I guess it's still better then snow!

This weekend I think I'm heading up to a beach area called Apollo Bay for a couple days with one of the girls I've been hanging out with, so that should be some good relaxing time spent on the beach! (Yes mum...I'll remember the sunscreen!)

As a random thought to finish this off, I heard an interesting theory last night when I went out for dinner with a couple of girls. One of the girls in her psychology class learned a reason to explain the differences in how girls and guy categorize their relationships. Apparently, (keeping in mind this is just a general statement..choose to agree or disagree) males are able to put females they have relationships with into clearly labelled boxes. For example, if they have a girlfriend...she is in the girlfriend box. If they have a girl who is their best friend...she is in the best friend box. And if the relationship ends with their girlfriend, they take her out of that box, but maybe instead put her into the bestfriend box if they still consider her they're closest friend.

Then, in comparison...females have a sliding scale for the males they have relationships with. At one end of the spectrum could be complete stranger, and at the other end of the scale could be boyfriend. So as a female gets to know a male, he may slide up and down this scale, but what may be lacking are clear and definite lines as to if this male is the best friend, or if he is the object of a crush, or when he becomes the boyfriend.

So, this rational was used I think to explain how girls often have difficulties falling for guys who are their "best friends" or guys they spend a lot of time with because their lines are blurred as to where one aspect of their relationships starts and the other one ends. While it seems to be easier for guys to continue to think of a girl as just their friend, because she's clearly labelled in the "just friend" box.

Any thoughts? I thought an was an interesting way of looking at it anyways.

Oh, and if in need of a laugh, or you are a David Hasselhoff fan...give this link a look see.

Blessings!

Another music camp under my belt...

I'm back in Melbourne now after spending the week in Philip Island for the Victorian Creative Arts Camp (VCAC).

The first day or so that I was there was a bit hard, and to say I felt nervous and out of place was an understatement. I realized that being in a very crowded room filled with people that I didn't know, but who all knew each other, is one of the most lonely experiences of my life. I definitely struggled a bit with feeling homesick, and not sure exactly what I was doing there...but I got a lot of support from my good mate Matt, as well as my new fellow foreigner friend Callum, who pushed me through the first couple of days.

But in the end, I had an amazing time, and met a lot of incredible people (like you Bec!). It was different to any Canadian music camp that I've been to in that it was so much more laid back and relaxed. There was no auditions for anything, and everyone (about 120 of us) were in one massed vocal group that performed the final night at the concert. I was in drama and dance, and had an amazing time in both. I found I was able to come out of my shell in the drama sessions, and wasn't afraid of embarrassing myself in front of a group of strangers. Dance was definitely my favourite, and Claire had put together an absolutly incredible routine that looked amazing when we performed it the night of the concert.

The last night we were at the camp there was a bit of a praise and worship night. It was very different to the type that we had at Territorial, but it was still neat to see how God was working in so many lives. When sitting with Callum that night we were reflecting how it looks when youth are being moved by God back home for me in Canada, and back home for him in Scotland. And it was interesting to notice that no matter where in the world you are, and although there are always slight variations....God still moves. God is international and he speaks to us no matter where we are. It's definitely a comforting thought for me, especially when I'm feeling homesick, to know that no matter where I go, who I meet, and what I do...God is constant and unchanging.

I met a lot of incredible people this past week, and it continued to blow my mind how genuinely friendly everyone was! I had youth of all ages continually asking me if I was doing alright and if I was enjoying myself. I had a few people who were absolutly obsessed with my "accent" (which still blows me away because I don't think I have an accent at all!) and I don't think I've ever said "out and about" so many times in one week in my life.

I enjoyed getting an opportunity to lead the girls devotions one night, as well as leading a prayer meeting one morning. Definitely made me feel useful in some way, and again kind of putting me out of my comfort zone when I'm in a situation where nearly everyone is a complete stranger to me.

So I know a few more people now...and some people who I'll definitely be keeping in touch with while I'm here and most likely meeting up with to hang out with and get to know some more (as well as I found someone who will take me surfing! heyooh!).

Oh...side note...I also tried Vegimite for my first time this week. It was kindof vile, and tasted like dirty cheese...but I did manage to eat the whole piece of toast!

I've posted the few pictures that I did take during the week up on my msn space...and when we get out picture cds from the week at camp, I'll definitely post those up...so stay tuned!

But now it's time for church.

Blessings!

Survived my first week...

I've been enjoying a fairly relaxing summer holiday over the past week...Definitely a nice break. The weather has been gorgeous and I have been loving all the sun. Although currently I'm dealing with a pealing nose and forehead as I got a pretty bad sunburn earlier this week (you'd think I'd learn by now that I'm a red head...sunscreen is my best friend!).

I've seen lots of scenic sights around Melbourne, and have been taking lots of pictures (check them out on my msn space).

Yesterday I had a random highlight to my trip. While out running some errands with Matt, he got a phone call on his cell for me. General Eva Burrows had called and asked to talk to me. I was caught totally guard as that was the last person I was expecting to give me a call! But she said that she's heard all about me, and is very excited to have me in Australia. She also asked what Halsey I was related to, and turns out she knows my Grandpa Halsey very well. I guess it's good to know that people are excited to have me here!

Tomorrow morning we head off to "Afresh" Salvation Army Music Camp for the week. Please keep me in your prayers as I'm definitely nervous....one, about going to yet another music camp after finally facing my fears in August and going to Territorial...and two, about going to a camp where I know pretty much nobody. I'm in the dance and drama electives....both things which I'm not very talented at, so I'm just a tad worried about it.

Overal though, things are going well. I definitely miss friends and family though, but it is good to be able to call and email them at any time which makes things a lot easier.

Feel free to keep emailing me, as I love hearing about everything that's going on in the great white north!

Blessings!

Booyah master chief

I just got an email from my sister this morning, passing on that I've gotton a label onto Jones Soda...again!! Heyyyyoh!!

Check out the picture below to see the label that I got on. It's of one of the guys I met when I was in England back in May. (Yes Chris...they took the label off of the back of his shirt!)

Mission for people in Canada...keep your eyes peeled for a Jones Cream Soda with this label!! If you find one, buy it and don't drink it and hold on to it for me!

P.S. Thank you to everyone who has been sending me emails from home!! I'm definitely loving hearing from everyone and it makes my day to hear about all the going ons in Canada!!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year from down under!!

I just rung in the new year at a Gangster Swing Party...good times indeed.

We listened to a fantastic swing band play, and everyone in attendance was dressed as gangsters or flappers from the 1920s era.

Definitely a unique experience, and a first for me for going out swing dancing.

I hope everyone else has a brilliant New Years!

Blessings!

P.S I posted some scenic pictures from a walk along the Yarra River last night. Check them out on my MSN space.

I come from a land down under...

Just a really quick post to say that I'm alive and in Australia safe and sound!

I slept for more then half of my 15 hour flight from LA to Melbourne (yay gravol) so that made the flight actually go by really fast. I didn't even freak out over any terbulance..I must be growing.

Anyways...I can't believe I'm actually here! Really awesome, although it definitely hasn't sunk in completely yet.

Note to my family....I tried calling all of your cell phones and no one answered!! So I did try!!

Thats all for now...post again soon I'm sure.

Thanks for all the encouraging words and prayers! Much appreciated!!

Miss you all!

Blessings.

So long..farewell...

I've decided I hate goodbyes.

The last two weeks have been full of random goodbye hugs and kisses as I see people for the last time before I leave..and the last 24 hours has been the hardest with saying goodbye to the people closest to me that I've put off saying my farewells too right up until the last possible moment.

I've shed some tears with the majority of goodbyes of the past little while...saying goodbye to my Regent kids, my sunday school class, Scarborough youth, my 614 family, highschool friends, the Ignite team, and my closest friends and family. I've literally not been alone for more then half an hour in the last 3 days (including at night because I've had three sleepovers with my sisters), so I have definitely not let myself have time to let things sink in or have a proper cry about it all. I know a big ridiculous girly crying mess is on the verge of happening and will burst out at some point today. I'm hoping it'll happen when I'm sitting waiting to board the plane in front of a bunch of strangers, and I'll just make a big hysterical scene. Good times.

So I've 3 hours until I leave for the airport, and still not quite finished packing (I'll never shake the procrastinator in me...). Goodbye to everyone I didn't get a chance to catch up with. And I could never thank my family and friends enough for the support, love and encouragement I've been getting over the past few weeks leading up to me leaving. I am definitely leaving Canada with a sense of love and a knowing that I will be missed, and that is an amazingly beautiful feeling to have to carry with me.

So...goodbye, and I'll post again when I've arrived on the other side of the world.

Blessings.

Come Awake

Are we left here on our own?
Can you feel when your last breath is gone?

Night is waiting heavy now
Be quiet and wait for a voice that will say

Come awake
From sleep, arise
You were dead
You’ve come alive
Wake up wake up

Open your eyes
Climb from your grave
Into the light
Bring us back to life

You are not the only one
Who feels like the only one
Night soon will be lifted friend
Just be quiet and wait for the voice that will say

Come awake
From sleep, arise
You were dead
You’ve come alive
Wake up wake up

Open your eyes
Climb from your grave
Into the light
Bring us back to life

Rise, rise, rise, rise, rise
Rise, rise, rise, rise….
Shine, shine, Oh shine
We will shine
We will rise
We will shine, shine, shine

Just seven sleeps left...

I've had a whirl wind of a couple days...but it's been stuffed full of good times.

I'm trying to cram in as much hang out time with as many people as I can in the remaining little bit of time that I have in Canada before I head off on my trip.

A few highlights from the past couple of days.

Friday night I had thai food with three high school friends, who I haven't hung out with in ages. We shared a ton of random moments, and caught up on a lot, and finished off the night with cheese cake and ice cream for a belated celebration for Erins 22nd birthday.

Saturday I had my final two squads in Regent Park (for this year anyways) as we had our Christmas parties. I had one of the seven year old girls get really upset with me when I told her I'd be gone for a year, and wouldn't see her at camp this summer. She's been known to be quite a spaz of a child, but I've really been able to bond with her over the past couple of months. My heart melted when she told me I had two options. Either, I quit and come home early from Australia...or I pack her in my suitcase and take her with me. Saying goodbye to my Regent kids has definitely been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

Sunday morning at church, I had my final Sunday School class, as we had our Christmas party. I've grown to really love my pre-teens/teens that I've been teaching for the past four months. I always look forward to the fun and energy they bring to my life on Sunday mornings. I pray that God will continue to take care of them and protect them over this next year while I'm away.

During the Sunday morning service at Scarborough, I was surprised by being asked by my pastor to come up to the front of the church so that the congregation could pray for me. I've been feeling extremely blessed by my corps as they've supported me in leaving, and have had a lot of encouraging words spoken to me, as well as a ton of financial support from individuals in my church. God has definitely used my corps in a huge way in preparing me for this trip.

At lunch on Sunday I had a "surprise" going away party thrown for me by my fellow youth at Scarborough, which really meant a lot. Jeff gave me such an awesome going away gift of a sketch pad and drawing materials, and spoke such beautiful words of encouragement to me. I went home with tears in my eyes, feeling really loved, and having to have started my goodbyes with some of my friends.

I spent a crazy afternoon down at 614 helping out with the kids Christmas play. It was absolutly crazy of course, as is any production put on by a mass amount of kids...but was tons of fun. I got to spend a few extra hours hanging out with some more kids from Regent who I'm going to miss hugely when I leave. The play was definitely a success, and everyone was impressed with the random lion, kangaroo-pouched-donkey, and dinosaur we had show up at the manger scene.

Sunday night I had a crazy night of playstation karoke with a bunch of the 614 girlies. I value those girls friendship so much, and love them to pieces. It was a good night of hanging out and good conversations with several people.

Monday night I spent some solid quality time with my better half, Jocelyn. Definitely good to FINALLY meet up and hang out and catch up. We made a mini road trip up to Newmarket to visit the one and only Sam Nolan. Sam...you crazy cat...you rock my world.

When we got there Sam handed me the biggest load of random things wrapped up I've ever received. She even wrapped the card! (The coolest Christmas card ever..with Dinosaurs on it of course!) So I was blessed with receiving...a travel toothbrush and toothpaste...a travel face cloth...travel ear plugs...a fantastic skirt and a bag both made from curtains...a hippee peace teddy bear...and the coolest mixed cd ever made (even if I've never heard of any of the bands..but I'll work on educating myself Cappi!)

One week left today until I board the plane for the longest plane ride of my life. It's getting harder and harder as I'm giving hugs to people for the last time before I go..and I'm trying to repress the realization that this will be the last time I see my loved ones for a very long time.

But, I do have to note one positive thing. When getting ready to leave everyone and everything you're familiar with...you realize how much you're loved, and the support and encouragement that surrounds your life. I can't ever say that I'm not blessed with tons of people who love me.

Praise the Lord for that.

A Christmas addition to the family

We finally picked a day that the whole family was free and got out to the Hortons Magic Hill Tree Farm, for some annual cutting down of our Christmas Tree this past Sunday.

After a hayride out to the trees, and spending a lot of time debating, walking around, and deciding what it was we were looking for in a tree that year...we finally found our guy. We have a crazy tradition that goes along with going up to Magic Hill Tree Farm...and that is naming our tree. We pretty much never remember what the name was of the previous year, mostly because it ends up being long, complicated and just ridiculous...but it just always seems to complete our Christmas to name our tree.

So here is the picture with Edgar Bubbles Ruby Halsey (or "Bubs" as the kids on the street like to call him.)

And tonight we made sure everyone could be home at 8:30pm sharp to decorate dear old Edgar, as we're not allowed to put our decorations up without everyone being present. It's another tradition that my mom makes us all a decoration each Christmas to add to our tree, as we still only decorate with either home-made or sentimental decorations. This year I got a pretty green, red-headed fairy ornament to put on the tree.

Isn't he pretty?

Today I had to say goodbye to Gareth and Kirstin who are on their way back to Ireland...and I had my last Wednesday night squad and had to say goodbye to a lot of kids after breaking the news that I would be leaving for a year after Christmas. So, it has been a bit of a sad day as I just take another step in realizing how soon I leave.

But, despite that...I am starting to feel a bit more in the Christmas spirit as our dear tree is up and decorated...we spent about an hour listening to our classic cd of Mariah Carey's Christmas tunes...we drank some warm apple cider...and I got my first Christmas present tonight. I guess I can't really keep post poning feeling in the season..because it's going to come either way. Might as well enjoy all the moments as they happen over the next two weeks instead of being in denial about them.

Blessings.

You know you've done too many kettle shifts at Walmart when...

...you know the most popular "bratz" toys for kids this Christmas.

...you know the rotation schedule for the carry out guys.

...you direct more customers to different parts of the store then the Walmart greeters do.

...you can spot who set off the security alarm and ask them to move away from the doors with their purchase that they're exchanging before the Walmart employees do.

...you are on a first name basis with the greeters.

...you know when someone is swiping their bank card the wrong way at the cash when they're is 10 feet away from you.

...you become the official guardian of the broken carts and say about 10 times a minute to customers who come up "sorry..they're broken."

24 finds me...in 24th place...

24 days until I board a plan bound for Australia. Seriously..where has the time gone?

I'm beginning to get a lot of anxiety, stress, excitement, nervousness, and fear..all kindof rolled up into one big feeling of being extremely overwhelmed by the fact I'm leaving the country for a year, really really soon.

I'm finding it really hard to get into the Christmas spirit. I think I'm realizing that it has a lot to do with how reluctant I am about acknowledging that it's just around the corner..and so is my plane ride out of Canada. It's beginning to sink in that I'm going to be saying my goodbyes to a lot of people really soon who I'll be seeing for the last time before I go.

Tonight I had an absolutly wonderful evening spent with three fantastically wonderful girls. Natalie, Carmen and Sam graced me with their beautiful presence, as we had a mini female cabin leader reunion. We went out and bought some cake mix from a dusty bottom shelf of the corner store at the top of my street...demonstrated our sweet baking skills..and watched a movie. It was great to spend some time hanging out with these ladies and getting exposed to the antics that is only Sam Nolan as she tried to count my freckles (again) and jumped on me about every 5 minutes. I have really missed my cabin leaders since the summer, so it was great getting a chance to catch up, see their smiles, and have some good hang out time together.

When Sam and Carmen were leaving, it was only a temporary goodbye because they are planning on visiting me at 614 on a Sunday before I leave (also because I'll need to pick up my fabulous new curtain pants the Cappi is making me). But when Natalie was leaving...we pretty much knew that this would be the last time we saw each other before I left. I know I'll be back in a year, and I will see her again....but tonight was my first real goodbye to someone knowing that I'm not going to see them again until I come back from Australia. And that's kindof making a lot of things sink in, and starting the process of this all becoming real and knowing that I'm leaving a lot of people I love for a really long time.

The popular conversation starter lately has been for people asking me "so are you about ready to leave?" or "do you have everything all packed up and ready to go?" or something else along those lines. Despite now hearing this question about 3 times a day from people I run into...I still smile, and say, "just about! It's coming up really soon!" and try to give off the impression that I'm super excited and everything is coming together just fabulously.

But in all honesty...I'm getting really scared. One of my biggest fears in life is being alone. Although I've gotten a lot stronger in this area over the past year, and God has really become a solid stronghold to me when I'm feeling lonely...I'm still afraid of being in a place when I don't have my close friends and family surrounding me and continually uplifting me. As ridiculous as this might sound, I realized today how much I'm going to miss all the hugs I get on a daily basis. From friends who I don't see that often...from friends who I see every day but we hug anyways...from my siblings who are just overflowing with them...from my parents whenever I see them...from my three year old cousin who gives the best bear hugs in the world...all from people who I know love me.

I'm also really scared of failing. Of going half way around the world and screwing up. Of not doing all that people have built me up to be capable of. Of becoming really homesick and not being able to just lean on and trust in God.

I shed my first couple of tears tonight in anticipation of all the goodbyes I'm going to be saying soon to a lot of people I'd really rather not say goodbye to...but instead hold on a little bit longer where I'm comfortable...and where I know people...and where I feel loved.

Thank you again, my camp girlies, for a wonderful night. Special thanks shout out to Cappi for the education of the Australian Indie band, "Architecture in Helsinki", that I will look into..just for you.

Just be brave.

Just wanted to make a quick post as a short follow up to the previous one.

Something was pointed out to me by a friend in regards to all the comments left.

As a general observation...it seems that all the males who left comments stated that it really doesn't matter if it's the girl or the guy who makes the "move" or initiates the relationship, so long as someone does to get things going. And then on the other hand...it seems that for the most part the females who left comments stated that they would really much rather that the guy did the asking out.

So...I guess two lessons learned.

Girls. If you aren't too afraid to make a move. Do it. The guy just might be very glad you did..and definitely won't be offended that you took things into your own hands.

Guys. No matter what day in age it might be...girls will always be sappy romantics at heart, wanting to fussed over and given a reason to swoon. So..you want to impress a girl? Put yourself out there, be a man, and ask her out. Even though the girl might be okay with making the first move...she likes it even better when she doesn't have to, and will feel that you like her that much more for taking the risk and showing that she was worth it.

I know that guys get just as scared about making a move and stepping up as girls do, and to them it really doesn't matter who gets things going...but in all honesty, the above still stands. I know someone who will continue to argue with me on this subject...but it's definitely nice for the girl who always has to initiate..to find a guy who is willing to take that task off of her hands and pursue her for a change.

Boys have cooties.

I was chatting it up with some serious girl talkage last night with my new friend Ashley. Was really good to vent about personal frustrations...insecurities...and realize that on a lot of things that absolutly confuse me or leave me asking "say what?", I'm definitely not alone in my female thinking.

Some things in regards to the opposite sex (okay, a lot of things) are really quite a mystery, and there is no exact science in how to go about male-female interactions, dating and the like.

So...in an attempt to cross the gender barrier on this issue..what are your thoughts on the following.

Who should make the "first move?" (In terms of the first steps of a relationships, and making it more then "just friends.") Yes I know ladies we all say "it's the guys job" and ultimately we would like to not have to always take the initiative. But what about those times where things are stuck and maybe the guy is just too oblivious or chicken to get things going? But then at what point do you decide to take things into your own hands? (and what does "taking it into your own hands" exactly entail??) Or should we just always leave it up to the guys? And guys...do you feel you've lost some sense of masculinity if the girl makes the first move?

A confession. Girls get giddy and ridiculous when they like a guy. They let it occupy their thoughts, and every little thing a guy does "just as a friend" means more and leaves us wondering "does that mean he likes me too?"

So..the puzzlement. I know very well how girls act when they have a crush..but do guys do it too? Do they let that special girl occupy their thoughts and day dreams? Do they read "too much" into every little thing, wondering maybe if she's giving him a sign to make a move? Do they spend time pouring over the decision about whether or not they should tell the girl their feelings for her?

I know how some guys would answer these questions, because I've had conversations about it with them. But thats just a few, amoungst a whole gender.

Soooo..feedback? thoughts?

Seasons of Love...

Just saw this movie. It's absolutely fantastic, and an incredible rendition of the Broadway musical. Definitely gets you thinking beyond your typical everyday, "what is normal" lifestyle. Beautiful.

Love it.

Passion Toronto

I got these pictures off of the new 268 Generation Blog (the group that hosts the Passion Events.) They're pictures from the Passion Toronto concert that took place two days on November 22.

In the green circle is Chris, Me, Phil and Geoff (I swear it's us lol).

On the left in the white you can see the back of Twix, then Peter's grey hat, then Donna's orange shirt. And then dead centre in the huddle is Amy and Joel. Then to their right is Leah. This was during the "Prayer Triangles."

Chris, Charlie & David singing it out together.

Chris Tomlin.

David Crowder.

Well the weather outside is frightful...

Random Moments

Just wanted to write a quick post about a random beautiful moment I witnessed today.

I was on the Dawes bus heading down to Regent Park for the second time today. Three teenage girls got on shortly after I did. They sat at the very back of the bus, but were only seated a few moments before the bus driver was yelling back at them. He asked if they had ripped a ticket in half to make it look like two tickets. Turns out they did. So the driver stopped at the next stop and announced back to them that they would have to either put in another fare, or one of the three of them would have to get off. The girls yelled up a story that they had dropped a ticket down the sewer, so they were just trying to cover for the loss...but the bus driver wasn't having any of it and told them they needed to pay, get off or he was calling it in.

Now these girls were not being nice about the situation. They were sucking their teeth, making ridiculous remarks "under their breath" and doing their best to keep their cool and trendy teenage appearance despite being caught in the act of doing something they shouldn't be. As one girl yelled up to the front that they didn't have any more fare to put in...the thought crossed my mind to get some change out of my wallet and give it to them. But it was a fleeting thought as the frustration I get for these type of "punk" teens kicked back in (I'm getting so old...), and instead I ignored the conversation between them and the driver by turning up my discman.

While the debate between the two parties was getting more heated, and voices were getting raised...a little old lady who had been sitting up at the front stood up. She had to be in her 70's at least, and she moved very slow, and took her time. My first thought was that she couldn't handle the loud conversation that was taking place and was heading for the back doors. But I was wrong.

She walked right up to those three rebellious teenagers and asked "how much do you need?" I was shocked. I turned off my music to hear how the girls would respond. Not missing a beat the one girl who needed the fare said she only had a quarter. So the elderly lady quickly pulled out enough change for her to pay the bus driver. A quick thank you was offered up and the girl walked briskly up to the front and put the fare in, and was back in her seat before the older lady had even made it back to the front of the bus.

Nothing else was said about it. The void that separates the generations was crossed for a few brief moments...and then it passed. The bus driver closed the doors and began to drive. The little old lady got off the bus about two stops later. The girls rode the bus until we reached the station, and they said nothing about the kindness that was shown to them from a complete stranger.

An interesting and beautiful moment which definitely got me thinking about a few things.

Anyways...just wanted to share.

Blessings.

Prayer Labyrinth

Friday night I had the privledge of attending my first all night of prayer at 614 in Regent Park. The weekly 9-11pm prayer walk was extended until 6am and involved different aspects of prayer and worshiping God.

The most impacting part of the evening for me was when we ended up at the K-Club after doing a Prayer Walk Scavenger Hunt in the community. After debriefing from the prayer walk, we were lead by Julie into a prayer labyrinth. Some scripture was read, as well as the history and meaning behind prayer labyrinths. Although I had heard of them before, I had never actually walked through one, so this was a new experience for me. It was a simpler version of this exercise, and there was paths taped out on the floor of the gym for us to walk through. There were two different entrances for us to choose from. Then we would follow the path, until we reached the middle, and then choose a path out again. It was left fairly open as to what we would pray about as we walked, but it was up to us as to how long we took in the labyrinth and how we traveled along it.

A huge struggle that has been occupying my thoughts this past week has been on the topic of boys and past relationships. Through conversations with someone from a past relationship and a couple other random situations, I've had a lot of stress and anxiety weighing down on me, and haven't been really sure how to get through it. I've felt a lot of old pain and regret that I thought I had dealt with beginning to creep back up into my life, as well as starting to doubt my capabilities for a future relationship with someone.

When we were told to sit and pray at the K-Club and then begin the labyrinth when we felt ready, all these issues and stress that had been on my heart all week crept back up into my mind. I felt God say to me, "lets start at the beginning...and walk through it all together." So that's what I did.

I took my first step into the labyrinth going back right to my first boyfriend. Very, very slowly, I took a step at a time and literally walked through my entire dating history, with God right beside me. It took a while, and I had to pause a few times as tears caught me off guard and fell down my face...but I pressed on.

I think the thing I found the most surprising was all the bitterness and hatred I still harboured from past situations. But...most of those negative feelings weren't even for the guys that I had dated. They were for other people who in one way or another linked to the relationship I was in...and I had allowed these situations to slip my mind and I became totally blind to the fact that I still had real and raw bitterness and anger for people that I don't even talk to anymore. For instance...I still had negative feelings toward someone from when I was 15, because my boyfriend dumped me for her. I still had real anger towards a girl from when I was 17 who only pretended to be my friend while I was dating her best friend. And there were a couple more...but all of them equally ridiculous in the fact that I still harbored these feelings from years ago, and without me even realizing it, were tearing me apart from deep inside of me. But I had God beside me and He helped something beautiful to happen out of these hideous and ugly feelings.

As I walked through my past experiences, and became aware of the anger or hurt I felt by either the guy I was dating, or the people surrounding the situation...I confronted my feelings head on...released them to God...asked for forgiveness...and took a moment to pray into the individuals life that I had felt bitterness towards. It was one of the most liberating and freeing experiences of my life.

Then as I reached the centre of the labyrinth, I took a moment to sit and pause and listen to God. I asked Him to help me now look towards the future and hear Him speak truths into my life..instead of the lies I had let fill my head for the past week. And as I took steps on the path heading towards the exit, I heard words of truth, beauty and love that helped to renew me, strengthen my spirit, and give me confidence for the future.

The issues surrounding the opposite sex, and relationships will probably continue to come up as a struggle for me, but as on Friday night...I'm continually reminded that my God is good...He is constant...He is forgiving...and He is more than patient with me. And I'm so thankful that He's never given up on me, and still feels that I'm worth His time.

Blessings.

Smile for Chuck E!

How often do you get your picture hand sketched by Chuck E. Cheese?
Check that off of my life ambitions list!

A Personal Frustration

I just got home a shift at work. Definitely less stressed out then I have been after the last couple of shifts that I've worked, and I know it's got a lot to do with the fact of who my shift partner was tonight.

I worked tonight with Ana. Ana has been at Richardson long before I even started as a student there (for anyone who doesn't know..I work in a residential home for Children's Aid). She is someone from whom I have a learned a great deal from in terms of working with challenging and difficult behaviours, and how to still love kids despite everything else that goes on. It's so apparent that Ana loves her job, she loves working with kids, and she puts everything that she has into her work. Tonight at settling, one of the boys came out of his room when he knew he wasn't supposed to. Instead of just getting frustrated with him (as a lot of staff at my work do)...Ana asked him if the real reason he had come out was because he needed an extra hug before going to bed. Turns out...that's exactly what he needed.

Although I have the privledge of working with and learning from some incredible child and youth workers...at the same time, I work with some people who I honestly question whether or not they even like kids. People who get more caught up in the politics of the job then worrying about the actual effect it all has on the kids we work with...people who are more concerned with talking to their significant other on the phone then interacting or getting to know the kids we have living at the house...and people who are just too lazy to go above and beyond what they're required to do and just do the bare minimum so that they can keep their job.

I think that there is a lot of people who think that they are good with kids...or would like to think that children love them, and if they wanted to, they could always "fall back" into a field that involved working with kids (i.e. half of the people in first year of my child and youth worker course who dropped out after the first semester...). But then I go to work and see staff who seem to have forgotten why it was they got into this field in the first place and care more about their pay cheque then they do seeing our kids get stabilized and get to go back home or into a permanent residence.

I could go on a whole other rant about the lack of care, concern, time and effort people in general put into children and youth (within the church or not...), but what I'm left feeling really frustrated about at this exact moment in time are the people who have chosen to be responsible for the lives of children...people who have made the decision to take the outcome of a child's life in their hands...people who have the opportunity to mold a child's life into something far greater then it is...and then just flat out blow it. They let the opportunity pass them by.

Tonight before dinner I had a few free moments, so I went to our little gym at the house and played some basketball with our newest resident. (I straight out suck at basketball, but looking on the positive side, it always makes the kid feel better about their skills.) While we were playing, we got to chatting and I found out that he wants to be a construction worker when he grows up. When I asked him why, he said because that way he can build things for his kids. As well, because it will challenge his mind and make him smarter because he will need to do math calculations on the job (that's almost word for word..and he's 9). The conversation with him totally made my day and just reminded me how continually impressed I am with kids when I take the time to build relationships with them.

So many kids are without a proper mentor or adult to look up to or model their behaviour after. How much more important does that make the job of someone who willingly puts themselves in the role of being a leader or worker to children and youth? Definitely not a role to take lightly.

Blessings.

Random Pix on my new camera...

Paul enjoying the toys before the crazy squad kids show up...

Taking a break from washing dishes and noticing the sun shining in through the window...

Josephs monkey face...

Me, trying to figure out the timer on my camera and making a crazy face in a panic...

Chris having a moment in Dundas Station...

A Beautiful Soul

I was thinking today about the blessings that I have in terms of the people in my life. There are definitely several beautiful souls that have been huge strengths to me in various aspects of my life and been there at crucial points when I needed someone the most. I wanted to take a minute to highlight one particular person who has been and continues to be a huge influence in my life.

This is the beautiful and fantastic Sharon Hann.

Sharon is one of the most genuine and selfless people that I know. There is nothing fake about the love and passion she puts into everything she does...and everyone she meets. I think literally every time I meet up with Sharon we meet somebody new. She has this simple and inviting smile that she always wears that just seems to draw people to her. We could be intentionally setting out to meet someone who is sitting panhandling on a downtown street...or just walking and talking...but somehow we always meet someone new who seems to be drawn to her friendly and beautiful spirit. She is definitely the type of person that I could just never get sick of spending time with and I learn from every time I have a conversation with her.

Some people have told Sharon that she's too trusting...that she's not careful enough with the people that she meets and puts time into talking to and showing the love of God through her words and actions. But it's just not true. Sharon has been blessed with such an incredible gift of just genuinely loving people..no matter who it is. And with the gift of meeting people...without fear or judgment.

I was told by someone that we met once that I was the "protector"...that I was with Sharon to look out for her and make sure she didn't come to any harm. Truth is...I don't ever worry about Sharon, even when she tells me of people she met while walking somewhere alone at night. Because I know that God gave her this gift for a reason...and He is always walking with her. In a city like Toronto where people are afraid of the unknown, and unwilling to bridge the gap of brokenness and loneliness...Sharon is one of those beautiful souls who are constantly reaching out to those who need love the most, and does so without fear of the unknown or judging what might initially appear to be ugly or unwelcoming.

Sharon has been an incredible positive Christian influence in my life over the past six years or so...especially over the past three. She has been there with a listening ear, encouraging and sympathic words, and always with prayerful support. I thank God so much for all that she's brought to my life...for all the laughs and good times that we've had, for how she's helped me to grow in my Christian walk, for all the wonderful conversations, and for how she's continually challenged me to look outside of myself and into my surroundings to see God and how I can love His people more genuinely.

Sharon...I love you and I don't know where I'd be without you. Never change (especially not for any boy lol) and continue to love God and those around you with all the passion that you've been blessed with. God's got such an awesome plan for your life, and I can't wait for the next exciting step in your journey of life!!

Blessings!

Lying on a bed of leaves.

Autumn Fun.

Trick-or-Treat

I haven't been trick-or-treating since the ripe ol' age of 14...and did I ever miss it!

Last night I headed down to Regent to meet up with some kids and parents to hit up the park and Cabbagetown for some free candy. I forgot how excited kids get about this night!! It was a struggle to keep up with a couple of the energetic ones (pre sugar overload I might add)...so I ended up trailing behind with two of the boys who were Siamese twins as they took a bit longer to walk up the stairs to peoples houses.

It was really beautiful to see how the people of Regent Park and Cabbagetown come together for this one night. Theirs no stigmas or boundaries..just everyone out enjoying the night. A couple times I got hit with culture shock while in the richer areas...one time being when we saw a couple casually walking down the middle of the road amongst the crowds of children carrying some champagne in wine glasses. I had to do a double take.

After about 2 hours of strolling the streets, exchanging smiles and hugs with kids I knew, and just enjoying the mass chaos that was literally hundreds of children going door to door...we started to head back as the Siamese twins were slowly fading (and then one ended up also bleeding as they had tripped over their oversized pants and face planted into the cement).

But then I ran into the Igniter girls, and Kanga..and they were just bursting with energy! So we spent the next hour doing some trick-or-treating ourselves and taking advantage of the free candy night! It definitely makes the experience that much better to go out with a couple of Australians and French girls who have never participated in Halloween before. I can remember the last time I had gone out (at 14), being yelled at for being too old. But maybe because our costumes were just so great...we never once heard any comment of the sort. Instead just got a lot of smiles and laughs (especially at Shauns costume)...and of course, loads of candy! Kanga was even told that soon she'll be old enough to be able to drink! (Kanga is turning 26...hmm..).

Anyways...it was a fantastic night overal, and definitely one of my top Halloween experiences. Below is a pick of our "adult" trick-or-treating group. (Go to my MSN spaces for some more photos.)

Anyone else do anything exciting?

Happy Birthday Phil!

Happy Halloween!

Only two sleeps left till Halloween

Well, it's only 8:30, but I am definitely ready for bed!!

Just got home from an amazing day in Regent. I think we had the best day of squads that I've had in a very long time.

(And can I say I am loving this random beautiful day of sunshine and warm weather!)

Kanga and I were afraid of mass chaos happening this morning for our squad, as we always seem to be short on leaders, and we had one kid coming who we hadn't seen since the Spring and our memories of her are far from wonderful. So, while on prayer walk last night, we took a few minutes to pray over this particular child, and also that things would run well.

And God definitely answered our prayers! This morning between the two squads that we run together, we had 25 kids show up...BUT we also had a splendid 7 leaders come to help us out! Praise the Lord!! And the result was a slight bit of chaos...but the kind that is fun and manageable. The program ran without a hitch really..and we got in a crazy game of dress up the leader, caramel apple making, and some pumpkin carving. (Check out the pix on my MSN space..link below.) And, much to our astonishment...our one child that we had dreaded coming...behaved beautifully. It was actually really great to see her again, and she shocked us all with an ability to listen to instructions...the first time they were asked!! (A miracle in itself...).

Then after an hour and a half break...we were on to the next squad. This one as well, ran incredibly. Within this particular group we have so many diverse and "strong" personalities displayed in the kids, there's always the fear in the back of our minds that at any second mass mayhem is going to break out. But...incredibly, everyone got along with one another...every kid showed up in a stunning Halloween costume...there was TONS of laughter...the kids started and sang grace at dinner all on their own (good ol' Johnny Appleseed)...and Mark (Igniter) successfully carved his first pumpkin!

Definitely a day that reminds me why I am involved in such a beautiful and vibrant children's ministry in Regent Park. It continues to blow my mind and melt my heart when I see such tough acting, thick skinned youth, too cool for anything...revert back into real children who give an endless amount of hugs, play ridiculous simplistic games, and laugh..a lot. All because of the love, passion and devotion that the folk from 614 pour into their lives in the name of the Lord. God is good.

Happy Birthday Christopher!!

Happy 19th dude!!

Growing up so fast...

Just two months left...

Where is the time going? When I made the decision to leave the country it seemed like it would be ages until the end of December actually came...but alas, time is flying by. Now I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that the 23 hour plane ride goes by just as fast...

I'm finding it harder and harder to get myself in the mode of getting ready to leave for a long journey away from home. Getting my mind into the perspective that the people who I love and I am closest to, I won't be seeing for a very long time. I'm caught in some cases of wanting to distance myself to make it easier for when I do leave, but in the same thought wanting to spend as much time as possible to cherish the next two months that I have in Canada. It's also been a lot harder then I thought it would be to try and stay in good standing with all my family and friends, to make sure that I won't be leaving with any bitter feelings or unresolved issues. Well, not so much as being harder then I thought...but more then I didn't really expect the issues to come up that have been coming up. But you live and learn...

Although I've always disliked the idea of a big city, despite always living in Toronto...recently I'm finding a new appreciation for the area I do live in. I realized on a prayer walk last Friday night how much time I've wasted looking beyond my neighbourhood to do things for God, and turning a blind eye to my immediate surroundings. I've travelled into the heart of downtown Toronto lots of times in efforts to meet people living on the streets, or spent a lot of time in Regent park building relationships or joining in their prayer walks. But last Friday I joined the East Toronto crew as we took a stroll up Danforth and took some time to pray for the area. It totally hit me in a new and different way as we took the time to pray for a bar that I've actually spent time in hanging out with friends back in highschool...and prayed right by Main station, where I have been travelling through with TTC nearly my entire life...and prayed for the community that I have been living in for the past 22 years. It really hit me hard how all too often I'm looking beyond a broken community that I in fact live in, to try and find ways for God to use me. It was definitely an awakening experience...and also a good reminder for me that there will be a reason for me to come home again after Australia, because my own community still needs God in a big way.

Just to finish off...here's a couple short video clips of the cutest three year old in life...

Toes

Jesus Loves Me

Blessings!

My sister is all grown up

Happy four month anniversary Donna and Tim!!

Finally Canadian

Congrats Sara Bright on FINALLY getting permanent residency in Canada!!

Now you can finally get paid for all that hard work you've been doing!

Praise the Lord..He is good.

Blessings!

The battle of humility...

"What do you say When it's all gone away?

Baby I didn't mean to hurt you...

Truth spoke in whispers will tear you apart

No matter how hard you resist it

It never rains when you want it to

You humble me Lord

Humble me Lord

I'm on my knees empty

You humble me Lord

You humble me Lord

Please, please, please forgive me"

On my way...

Praise the Lord...I got my Immigration Visa for Australia!! And it only took two weeks!

It makes the fact that I'm leaving in just over two months a little bit more real now that I know I can legally be in Australia for a year!

God is good!

"Where I cannot see, I'll trust"

Saturday night I had the privledge of attending a very beautiful covenant service with 614. Throughout the evening my heart was stirred as God spoke into my life and revealed some new truths to me.

"Humbled by Your Majesty,

Forgiven so that I can forgive..."

I came to realize how proud a person I am. I think it's a hard thing for me to admit that I'm wrong. Not just in terms of proving a point in a discussion or debate with someone...but I have difficulties accepting the fact that I am capable of hurting someone's feelings without realizing it. Recently I had an old friend confess that I had hurt them in the past, and because of that they didn't think very much of me. Instead of humbling myself and apologizing...I argued. I gave reasons, excuses and pointed out in a very wordy speech that I wasn't the one to blame, and there was a logical explanation as to why feelings had been hurt and why we weren't friends anymore.

I realized Saturday night what a proud person I am and the difficulties I have in admitting that I have done wrong and require the forgiveness from someone that I may have hurt...unintentionally or otherwise. I think this is a hard thing for me to overcome and completely change...but I am glad to have been made aware of it and hope to continue to improve and have God keep me accountable.

"Your grace has found me just as I am..

Empty handed but alive in Your hands..."

During the course of the service on Saturday we had put in our hand a mustard seed, and a few beads of yeast. The parable of the mustard seed and yeast was read from the Bible, and we were asked to consider this passage. We were to think of any hopes and dreams that we have...however small and insignificant they seemed, and then to turn to someone beside you and spend some time talking about these dreams and praying about them.

"There must be more than this..."

As I began to think over this passage and apply to myself, I became a bit scared. I realized that although I have the next step of my life planned out to go to Australia...beyond that I am completely clueless. I have this burning desire to be used by God...to be useful to His ministry, and to not waste my life. But what exactly that means, or where my life is going...I really have no idea. My friend who I talked to shared similar fears as me, and also just wanted to be of some use to God, and not just a waste of space. So we took a few moments as we shed some tears to pray into each other reassurance and confidence that yes, God does have a use for our lives.

It's a scary thing to realize that you have no control over your life, and you have no idea in what direction your life is going after this exact moment. But it's also such a beautiful comfort to know that all we need is a mustard seed of faith...and God WILL use that. The tiny little seed that I had sitting in the palm of my hand...that's it...that's all God needs.

"And where I cannot see I'll trust..."

Sunday morning at my church, I heard a very good sermon that seemed to bring conclusion to what God was speaking to me at the covenant service the night before.

Obedience.

I don't know the step beyond the one I'm about about to take in two months. But I definitely need to trust God with what is beyond that. It's as if God is holding a flash light out for me as I walk in a dark place. He doesn't use a flood light and show me everything that is upcoming in my life. Instead he shines a little flashlight right in front of my feet..shining the light bright enough for me to see my next step. I need to trust that as I take this one...God will then reveal to me the step that is beyond that.

I do have a fear of moving on, and I'm discouraged by the things that are unknown. I have a fear of not having enough money for Australia. I have a fear of becoming broken and unusable to God while trying to learn and grow in a country far away from my family and friends. I have a fear of returning home and not being talented enough or smart enough to be involved in ministry taking place in Toronto. And I have a fear of an unknown future.

But I do know...that unless I take this step that's right in my immediate future...I won't know what God has in store for me beyond that. I need to trust the unknowns to God..and remember to enjoy the journey.

Prayer Request

Time seems to be flying by until I go to Australia...and it's now only 77 days until I leave.

A lot of things have been really just coming into place so wonderfully with the grace of God, and that has been really awesome. I do still have a huge prayer request though.

My biggest anxiety right now is money. It's been increasingly difficult to try and save money up that I'll need for the next year in Australia. It's been a lot more expensive then I thought it would be to pay for the plane ticket, health insurance, apply for the immigration visa and other things that seem to keep popping up. I am really needing to just trust it all to God that He is going to provide the means for me to have money saved up because I'm definitely running out of my own options.

So prayer to be able to just trust this issue to God, and prayer that He'll find a way to provide all the money that I need, is definitely needed and would be hugely appreciated.

Blessings.

Gobble Gobble

Happy Thanksgiving!

I had a nice reminder today of how thankful I am for my family. We're a crazy bunch, but I love them.

I especially realized how thankful and blessed I am for my three younger siblings. After stuffing ourselves with my Grandma's delicious turkey, my two sisters, brother and I all squished onto the same couch together. I think we all had the intention of a nap...but it became a difficult task as all four of us were trying to use one another as leg rests...and because we were all over tired and being extremely ridiculous. But it was just a wonderful reminder of how much I love each of them, and the laughs and smiles that they bring into my life. It's definitely going to be a hard one saying goodbye to them for a year!

Praise God for all the reasons he gives us to be thankful.

Blessings!

Make Poverty History : National Day of Action in Toronto

Click on the picture to read the flyer.

"When I look at the stars...I feel like myself"

I think that most people have a place that they can retreat to...or somewhere that they can go and sit just to have a moment of sanity.

Mine is either to take a walk down to Taylor Creek and climb a tree (as funny as that sounds...), or just to go and hide in my room.

I have to tell you, I absolutely love my room, and I see it as one big huge work of art. I've been living in this make shift basement bedroom for the last 8 years or so, and have built up quite the assortment of a decorations, keep sakes, traffic signs, and random odds and ends. I'm a "pack-rat" by nature, and looking at my room...this is a very evident fact.

I think that one of my favourite parts of my room is the ceiling. One of the first things I did when I moved into the basement and set up my bedroom was stick a whole wack of those dollar store glow in the dark stars up. It was a long process as I didn't have a ladder and was forced to get creative in order to get the entire ceiling evenly covered with them...but 8 years later, they're still up there.

Originally I stuck them up there just to make sure that every inch of my bedroom had something covering it making it stand out a bit more. But now, I think I find something slightly beautiful and comforting looking at the glowing stars on my ceiling right before I fall asleep each night.

Six years ago, I began my summers of working at camp and spent two months at the Salvation Army Beaver Creek Camp, just outside of Saskatoon in Saskatchewan. It was by far one of the best summers of my life, and it was there that I realized I wanted to spend my life working with kids. I made some incredible friends that summer, one being the wonderful Dayla Halverson (well Dayla Beveridge now!). As the summer was coming to a close, Dayla and I shared many tears as we realized how far apart we would be once I went back home to Toronto. At the camp, we often laid on the trampoline and watched the night sky for hours, totally taken in by the Northern Lights. Dayla and I realized that even though we would be really far apart...we both would still be looking up at the same sky (sounds like a song from American Tail...). So, we picked a star that shines really brightly just over the saucer of the Big Dipper...and re-named it the "Dayla-Esther Star" (creative I know!). That way, whenever we missed each other, we could look up at that star, and know that wherever the other was, they could see that star too. When I got home that summer, I re-arranged the stars on my ceiling a bit, and formed the Big Dipper, complete with the "Dayla-Esther Star," so that when I lay down every night I can look up and see it shining right above my bed.

Next to sunsets, I think that the night sky is one of the most incredible and beautiful natural works of art that the Lord has blessed us with. It's one of those things, that when you're feeling lost, or unsure, you can just take a moment to stop and just bask in the glory that is God. It's just another reminder to me that when things are put into the Lords hands...they WILL turn out beautiful.

"I've been thinking about everyone, everyone you look so lonely...
But when I look at the stars...when I look at the stars...
When I look at the stars...I see someone else.
When I look at the stars...the stars...I feel like myself. "