Through Painted Deserts

A couple days ago I picked up...

...after my dad had let me know that it had recently come out. I'm just a couple chapters into the book, as I'm trying to pace myself and not race through it as what usually happens when I read Donald Miller because he's just such a brilliant author. I had forgotten how much I loved this author's writing, as it's been ages since I read a previous book of his, "Searching for God knows what." In just reading through the introduction to this book, I immediately re-fell in love with Donald Miller's writing and remembered why he's a favourite of mine. Just wanted to write a short quote that I read last night...

"It's interesting how you sometimes have to leave home before you can ask difficult questions, how the questions never come up in the room you grew up in, in the town in which you were born. It's funny how you can't ask difficult questions in a familiar place, how you have to stand back a few feet and see things in a new way before you realize nothing that is happening to you is normal."

I think I'm especially enjoying this book because it has a lot to do with leaving home and the questions and discoveries that happen when you go exploring beyond where you've grown up in...and a lot of what I'm reading feels exactly like what I've been going through and continue to go through while I'm in Australia, but just written out in a much more articulate and interesting way in the words of the fabulous Donald Miller.

Definitely glad I picked it up...

Blessings!

D I S C O, that's the way we disco...

I just had the wonderful privledge of being a leader at Melbourne Central's kids camp this past weekend. My body is absolutely aching, and I'm feeling a bit under the weather...but it was most definitely good times none the less.

A highlight to the weekend was getting to be in charge of the campfire Sunday night. To everyone who reads this in Canada...try to wrap your head around this like I've had to...in Australia, there is no "camp culture." And when I said there's none..I mean nothing. Going to a kid's camp for 3 days is HUGE for both the kids and the leaders, and there are no such thing as campfire songs. Well, there's the traditional, have someone play a guitar and sing along with whatever songs they can play on guitar...but that's about it.

So..I decided to use the opportunity of being in charge of the campfire to introduce a few things into Australia. There was a wonderful rendition of "I've come to marry the princess" done by Matt who taught it to one of the other male leaders at the camp. As well....I introduced "There ain't no flies on us" and the "DISCO" song to the kids. It's great to know that kid's internationally are just the same...they get addicted to the DISCO song. I'm glad I wasn't on the bus ride from the camp to Moreland Corps...because apparently it's all they sang for the entire trip. They even got me to lead a singing of it at the concert Monday afternoon. So now that every camp leader in Canada officially hates that song...now Australia can be infected by it too (lol).

I got to meet and hang out with heaps of amazing and brilliant kids. From little 6 year old girls who you just wanted to put in your pocket because they were so cute, to the older kids of the camp who just provided a laugh in every conversation you had with them. It even felt like I was back at camp at home when I had to sleep without a pillow because I'd given it out to a camper, and I had a sweater smelling like pee because I let one of the younger boys wear it.

The weekend definitely made me realize how much I really am going to miss being at Camp Wabana this summer (well, summer in Canada). There's lots of things I guess I won't miss...but getting to hang out with kids 24/7 for 2 months straight...definitely something I'm going to miss hard core. I guess the idea of our camp culture is something I took for granted because I've just always done it, so it's something to be added to the list of things I've come to really appreciate because I'm so far away from home.

You can check out pictures from the weekend by clicking here.

Blessings!

P.S Mum is coming in 28 days!

"In a word"

This is a picture of our winning drama team at the CRASH (creative arts spotlight on homelessness) event that was held this past Friday. These were the projects that we worked on at our Easter Camp a little while ago, and I had the opportunity to help with a painting that was entered. Unfortunatly our paint piece didn't win..but the drama did, so that's still pretty awesome. We won $500 to go towards homeless projects in this Salvation Army division. Click here to watch the video of the drama that I took on Friday night.

Blessings!

Pix and Video Updates

I've updated my picture page with some random photos, so click here to check those out.

I also put up two video clips. One I took just as a random video last Saturday for my family to watch, so click here to see that one. And the other was just a ramdom moment with some people on the Order, as they expressed themselves through song and dance...so click here for that one.

(how many times can I say random in one blog..??)

Blessings!

A ramble update

I've decided that I'm going to write a ramble of a blog...so no real idea where this is going to go, but I'm going to type away anyways.

My intense weekend of collecting for the Salvos Red Shield Appeal has finally come to an end. I did my last shift this morning at a train station, and now I've finished collecting forever....well, until Christmas anyways.

For anyone over there in Canada who hasn't heard, this is my final day on The Order (my program here at 614). I've gone through my reasons and explanations so many times in the past two weeks, I really can't bring myself to do it again on this blog...but you can either talk to my family for more details, or send me an email and I'll go into specifics. I will say though, that I'm not leaving with negative feelings towards anyone on my program, and this has actually been a really good opportunity to make amends and bond with several people on my team who I hadn't had a chance previously to get to know. I will still be attending 614 here in Melbourne as my home church, as well as teaching Junior Soldiers. However, after trying out several options, I'm unable to continue my participation on the kid's ministry team at 614 as a volunteer, so I won't be able to be involved in the programs at the Flemington Flats (where I have been running kids programs).

Also need to say..I am not leaving Australia. I still intend to stay here for the remainder of the year, and head back to the great white north in December. I am looking forward to having my time table free up a bit, and have an opportunity to do more things here in Melbourne, as well as build on several relationships with people that I have met since being here.

The last month, mainly since just after Easter, I've been really struggling. There has been several things that have really broken me down and put me in a real negative state of mind that I haven't enjoyed at all. As well, I've been really homesick and just wanting to be in a familiar place that I can hide in and be with family. Since last week I have been doing a lot better though, and really just trying to get through this step of finishing up on my program and then get my head clear and focused and move forward.

One thing that has gotten me through though is really letting it sink in how blessed I am. It absolutely boggles my mind the support I still receive from people in Canada, and it always brightens my day to receive a text message or an email from someone at home. Thank you Jeff for your email last week, because it was exactly what I needed to hear and allowed me to really focus in on God again. Thank you Matt for supporting me through all this craziness and being someone I can depend on when everything becomes a struggle. And thank you heaps to my family. From text messages from my parents and siblings, to getting a Veggie-Tales e-card from Joseph, to getting emails from my Grandparents in BC, and to getting lovely cards and encouraging letters from Family in Toronto....all of it just reminds me of how much love I have at home, and that I know I'm being supported in prayer when I need it the most. God is amazing, and has really blessed me with incredible friends and family in my life.

So...I can't honestly say that I know what happens next. I know that today is my last day on The Order...I know that I'm looking forward to getting a good nights sleep and recovering from this crazy past weekend...I know that I get to go to the Junior Arts Camp next weekend to help teach the art elective...I know that my mum is coming to visit me in 43 days (YAY!)...I know that I'll most likely need to get a part time job in order to be able to financially support myself for the rest of this year. But besides that, I haven't really gotten much planned out. However, I should add, I KNOW that God is taking care of me through all of this, that I'm in His hands, that He will provide for all that I need, and that He has plans for my life that are beyond anything I can imagine.

To end this post, I think I'll say a couple prayer points for anyone who reads this who is able to shout out a prayer for me every now and then.

Please pray that God will provide for me financially, or that a job will work out so that money won't be an issue. Pray that a door will open so that I can continue ministry in some form at the Flemington Flats (where I've been working with the kids team with the Order Program). Pray that my ears would be open to what God wants to say to me, and that I would be open to His teaching and his guidance as things change over the next little while. Pray that I would make the most of every opportunity for the remainder of this year.

Thanks again to everyone who has been such a support to me, both in Canada and in Australia. It means more then you can even imagine. Everyone from home, especially my girls who are starting camp soon, feel free to drop me an email anytime to let me know how you're doing and with some things that I can pray over for you.

Blessings!

More pictures of the fam...

Scotty (my cousin) and Di (my sister)

Scotty, all smiles. (Auntie Mel, he looks so much like you!)

Scotty and his big bro, Joseph.

Do Not Worry...

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Thank God for the Salvos

Well, it's Red Shield Appeal weekend. The weekend where the Salvation Army collects money either door to door, street corners, or at intersections all throughout the country.

It's mid day on Sunday, and I've still got 4 more hours of collecting ahead of me, but I'm already pretty beat. I think that this is the most full on collecting I've ever done with the Salvation Army. Two hours Thursday in a train station, two hours Friday in a train station, four hours yesterday at an intersection, eight hours today at an intersection, two hours tomorrow in a train station, and two hours on Tuesday in a train station.

But we're more then half way finished, and it hasn't been all bad. Just from our church alone we collected about $10,000 yesterday, and thats really amazing. We've had several bizarre interactions with people, lots of sore backs and tired legs, and standing out in some cold and wet weather....but I know that God will use the money raised in some incredible ways to minister to those in need in this country.

Blessings!

So do not fear...

"I took you from the ends of the earth,

from its farthest corners I called you.

I said, 'You are my servant';

I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

-Isaiah 41:9-10

Staying strong in Him...

Blessings.

Lets go fly a kite...

Moment of the week.

Spent this afternoon at the Flemington Flats for our Tuesday after school program that we've been running there. The weather is getting colder, but we still had 22 kids show up, including 2 new ones.

I have a little side kick every week. She's our youngest member, being only 3, and doesn't speak English. She usually just holds my hand and pulls me around to what activities she wants me to play with her.

Today she pulled me towards our fabulous kite we got a couple of weeks ago. So I grabbed it and we walked hand in hand out to the field. As we were walking, two of our 5 year olds came running out to join us as we began our kite adventure.

I must say that it was the most fun I've ever had flying a kite. The three kids are the youngest I've ever flown a kite with, but I've never seen more determination and team work to try and get something in the air. They each took turns to hold it, while another one ran with the string, and the third one did the count down to when it was time to run. Made me smile, and absolutely made my week.

Just thought I'd share.

Blessings!

The fam

I don't have anything interesting to say, but I was browsing through my sister's pictures on her blog, and found these two that made my day..so thought I would post them.

My Siblings: Dionne, Bradley & Donna

My cousin Scott and my bro, Bradley.

The Boys

Isn't this a fantastic picture? I came across it when I was checking out the pictures on my Aunt Mel's blog. That's my Uncle Mike, my four year old cousin Jospeh, and my cousin Scott who I believe is 8 months old now. It brought a smile to my face, so I thought I would share it...

Blessings!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Just wanted to say Happy Mother's day to a fantastic and wonderful mum (who will be visiting me in less then two months!).

Hope you had a beautiful day! Sorry I couldn't share it with you!

Love you heaps! MUAH!

A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

What does the worker gain from his toil?
I have seen the burden God has laid on men.
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;
yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Ready to Launch

I just attended the Red Shield Appeal Launch, that was held this year from 614. I don't think I've ever attended a launch in Canada, so this would be a first experience for me.

It's been an interesting morning. We arrived in our lane way at 6:45am this morning, where we usually have a couple of our guys sleeping out, or by the time we normally arrive in the morning there are a few guys just hanging out until the centre opens at 10. But this morning, our jaws dropped when we arrived. There was a tent set up in the lane way, and people everywhere. Being so early in the morning, the first thing that caught our eye was the huge coffee machine that was set up. There were waiters in fancy suits everywhere, walking around with elegant juices (like green tomato juice...who drinks that??) and mini crossants, and fruit kababs. Shortly after we got there, big wigs in business suits and Salvo uniforms started pouring in, as well as heaps of media people with big cameras. I got excited when I saw some guys in Salvo uniforms walking past with brass instruments, mostly because there were several guys that I knew from our xbox system link parties.

After about an hour everyone was ushered upstairs to the temple where heaps of speeches were given, and a lot of acknowledgements were said on behalf of all the important businesses who were represented. It always spurs some interesting thoughts for me when I see so many classy uniformed and suited up people talking about the needy in the city and how the Salvation Army needs money "more than ever" (slogan for the campaign this year). Not saying that the money isn't needed...it's just a bizarre thing to watch so many clean and upper class people asking for it.

So an interesting morning overall...and definitely some things to think about. We have two Red Shield Appeal weekend blitzes coming up, where us Order people get to do some hardcore intersection collecting...good times! Should be an experience anyways (~whispers word 'experience' and does corresponding hand movements..just for you Matt~).

Just want to finish off with this Bible passage that my wonderful Grandparents left for me in a comment in the previous post, that I thoroughly enjoyed reading this morning...

What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.

I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ - the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.

I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

Phil 3:8 - 12

Blessings!

Back from holidays...

Well, it's been ages since I've posted so I thought it was about time to at least write up an update.

I am just back at work today after having the past week off. I had a wonderful visit from the fantastic Chris Tidd, who came down from Sydney for a week and a half as he had holidays as well. We spent the past week staying at the most hospitable Matt Atkins' abode, and enjoyed some sight seeing, an xbox system link, three birthday parties, two nights out to the comedy festival, heaps of rented movies, and most importantly, lots of sleep. Also got my first Austrailan haircut...but no worries...I didn't get a mullet, no matter how cool some Australians may think they are.

Overal, I'm doing well. Feeling refreshed and a lot more sound of mind after some much needed time off, and time away from my house and the city.

Oh, I also spent 5 days over Easter at camp, which was an amazing time away. Definitely a different way of spending the Easter holidays, but one that I very much enjoyed. It was great to see a lot of familiar Salvos from all different corps from this division. I also had the opportunity of leading an art elective for a homelessness project, and had twenty-three 12-17 year olds that I got to paint their thoughts reflecting the subject onto a huge canvas. It turned out really well, and was also a lot of fun getting to hang out with a lot of amazing youth.

So, I guess I'll finish off with some prayer requests. Honestly, I am struggling with a lot in terms of the program I'm on. There are a few things that are really breaking me down for various reasons, and some things that my own pride is getting in the way of and just causing me to stress about things that I need to just let go of. I'm hoping for a lot of clairty this week being back at work, and being able to hear God's discernment about a few things. I'll need to make some decisions soon...even just deciding about what I want to get out of this year, and in what ways do I just need to let go and trust God....so prayer about those things would be very much appreciated.

If you're one of the people who have emailed me ages ago, and haven't gotton a reply...I'm sorry! I'm currently working my way through the build up that is my inbox, and fighting through my procrastination to make sure I get some emails sent! Anyone that I haven't heard from, feel free to drop me a line...would be great to hear from you!

Blessings!

Don't run with a chainsaw...especially if it's turned on.

Just wanted to write a quick blog while I had a few minutes in front of the computer.

First, to say...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!! And for anyone out there in Toronto right now, you can blame the sudden snow on my Dad. It always snows on April 5 (his birthday).

Also just wanted to give a quick update on how I'm doing. I haven't done too much this week as I was a bit under the weather. But, after heaps of sleep, I am finally recovering and was back into work this morning. Thank you so much to those who left comments on my previous blog. It definitely helped me figure some things out in my head. Also, really appreciate those who are praying for me...it's meant a lot. I am in a better frame of mind today..more so then I have been in a while. I've realized several things that I need to just let go of, and trust to God...so over the next little while, hopefully some things will become easier.

Winter is beginning here in Melbourne. I've honestly never heard any group of people talk more earnestly about the weather then those who live in Melbourne. But, I guess that's because it can change on a dime, so there is always something to talk about. I'm loving the cooler weather though. Reminds me of spring back home.

Pulled out a quote today from my wallet that was one of several by Max Lucado that my lovely Aunt Mel sent with me when I left Toronto. I thought that I would share it...

"Don't measure the size of the mountain;

talk to the One who can move it.

Instead of carrying the world on your shoulders,

talk to the One who holds the universe on His."

Also, if you get a chance, have a look at Matt's blog that he's written today. It's got some interesting points to consider, and make sure to leave a comment if it provokes some thoughts.

Blessings!

The Grand Finale!

It's been ages since I've written a blog, so I thought it was about time I updated.

Although it was weird not being at home and being around family and good friends, I still had an enjoyable birthday over all. I shared a lovely birthday dinner with the Atkins, my Australian family, which included party hats and dim sims...what else could I ask for? Also scored the "Rent" soundtrack (thx Matt!) and have been enjoying listening to that every day on the ride in to work.

I had my first experience at children's court on Friday. I'll be going every Friday for two hours, just to hang out with kids who are involved with their families in court cases. It was a full on time when I was there, as we had heaps of kids running rampid in the play room, but it was a lot of fun, and great to be working with kids again. I look forward to this ministry this year as it's not an atmosphere I've worked in before.

Tomorrow afternoon we're starting our program at the Flemington Flats. Pretty much I'm in charge of this activity that we're going to run every Tuesday afternoon from 3:45 - 4:45 for the children who live in these flats. It's an extremely multi-cultural and poor area that 614 just started getting involved with at the end of last year. Not sure how many will turn out tomorrow as we've just started handing out flyers, but hopefully it'll be a good afternoon anyways. Prayers would be appreciated over this ministry as I'm super nervous about it, and just really wanting God to use me in a productive way in this program.

Overall, last week I found a lot of things becoming a bit of a struggle with the Order program that I'm on. I ended the week just physically and mentally exhausted, and now unfortunately afraid that I'm getting sick, which I'm not at all excited about. It's been a continual struggle since the beginning of this program, living with the very diverse and dramatic people that I am living in community with. Three members have left over the course of the past two weeks, so that will be changing the dynamics up a bit. But I am finding it hard to build positive relationships with a few people that I live with, as well as just feeling comfortable in my house to just hang out with my other team mates. Also struggling with feeling like I'm not getting spiritually fed, and receiving positive input into my life while on this program. I've got a few people outside the order that I know I can depend on for support and encouragement, and a house that I can spend every weekend at to get a sanity break, but it's still an area I'm struggling with. So, I guess I'm asking for prayers over me remaining strong, focused on God, and that things will be put in place that can help me be challenged and grow spiritually.

I had an interesting thought occur to me last night as I was doing some prayer activities at the Moreland corps. One of the reasons contributing to my decision to coming to Australia was to build on my independence, and to learn to live away from home, and away from everything and everyone I had grown to be somewhat dependent on. Something I realized last night though was that I'm actually the most un-independent right now that I have been since I was probably 16 or 17. I do have a lot of freedom in what I do in my free time, I don't have a curfew, and I can budget and spend my money on what I like..but 75% of my life right now is organized and delegated to me in the form of a time table that I am expected to adhere to...even down to what church I am to call home, which I never thought would be a struggle.

So...I've come to learn how to be independent, and have entered a program that has more control over the decisions in my life then I do. At what point then is this a learning experience that I'm being humble and giving up the idea of control to other's so that I might learn what it is to be flexible and let others dictate to me what is expected of my time.....and then when does it become a realization that I'm old enough and smart enough to be independent and give up control to God alone, and make my own decisions about what occupies my time and the direction that I take my life?

And I think I'll leave my ramblings at that. Hope everyone is doing well.

Blessings!

It's a royal occasion...

Today's my royal..or champagne birthday (meaning I've turned 23 on the 23rd).

It's offical...I'm old.

One of my house mates this morning told me that it's a wonder I'm still alive, and it's all down hill from here. Fantastic words of encouragment lol.

Day is only half over...but favourite moment so far. One of the guys who come into the drop in centre who I've been spending a lot of time with over the past week or so getting to know, suprised me this morning with a beautiful birthday card. He knew it was my first birthday in the southern hemisphere, and away from home, so he wanted to make sure I still felt like it was being celebrated. Love it.

My humility will be known throughout the world...

Pet Peeves. Got any? I’ve got a few, although I don’t always remember them at a moments notice.

One I’ve had since I was a kid, and that is when people try to engage me in a conversation when I’m deeply into a book that I’m reading. Of course if someone needs to talk to me about something important, or if it’s just someone saying hello or checking in or me…that doesn’t bother me. But it’s when for whatever reason someone thinks that I’m only reading because I’m bored, and they’re going to relieve me from that boredom by making continual attempts to start up a conversation I don’t want to have. My family knew right from when I as young not to bother me when I was reading, and my mom even bought me a cheesy bookmark with a horse on it that said “don’t nag me, I’m reading” to poke fun at my pet peeve.

Another pet peeve I’ve only just come to realize over the past 6 months or so. It’s being told that I’m better then someone else. I definitely don’t want that to come across as me saying that this happens all the time, or that people just drop it in every day conversation that I’m better then someone. But to have someone say to you, “you know, you’re better then them.” How do you take that? Myself…I’ve realized…I get mad. The things that run through my mind tend to be…what kind of twisted view do you have of me to think me better then other people? Or…how dare you think that low of the person you’re comparing me to? As well as…who has given you the right to compare people to one another?

I know that I have pride, and that in some areas of my life I really struggle with being humble and allowing God to be in control. I think that’s another reason that this is a pet peeve of mine and gets me so angry…because I don’t see it as a favour or as a compliment from whoever is saying it. I see it as a lie that is trying to inflate the pride that I already struggle with letting God break down.

I think it’s an unfair and unjust thing to be compared to someone else. What do you base your comparison on? Looks? Intelligence? Wit? Their talents and abilities? Popularity? How “close” they are with God? What kind of scale do you use to make the call who is better at what, and at what point in time do you decide that you know someone well enough that you are entitled to make that judgement?

So, I guess my pet peeve isn’t just from hearing someone say to me that they think I’m better than “so-and-so,” but also just the idea in general that people have this need to compare themselves and others to those around them. It really isn’t a compliment to either party, and it puts you into a position of being a judge of something you were never meant to judge.

I suppose I could rant about this for a long time, so I’ll end it now. Just wanted to put those thoughts out there while they were fresh on my mind.

Blessings.

This is no time for dwarvish river dancing!

The Commonwealth Games are well underway and has become all that anyone in Melbourne talks about. Australians are pretty much dominating all the medals that have been won, with Canada ranking sixth I believe.

Not too much new or exciting has been going on with me. I've been keeping busy working in the drop in centre at 614, and getting ready for our kid's ministries team which starts up next week when the kid's are back to school.

My 23rd birthday is creeping up on me and arrives in three days (that's THREE days Dad, not one lol). Despite the fact that winter is around the corner, it's apparently supposed to be 30 degrees on Thursday, making it officially the hottest weather I will have ever had for my birthday.

I had an interesting conversation last week with my roommate. We got into a big discussion about boys, and past hurts we've had in relationships. We got onto the topic of how interesting it is how much past hurts can continue to dominate our heart and minds, even years later. Sometimes we don't even realize that something that someone has done years ago in a relationship can make us insecure, and maybe even a little paranoid, when we encounter new relationships..or even just a friendship with the opposite sex.

Trust really is a delicate thing. All to often as young (or sometimes older) teens, we have a real naive concept of people when we enter into our childish and immature relationships with the opposite sex. Speaking from personal experience....I tended to have the outlook that I could fix "him." I usually went for the guys who I knew broke girls hearts, and were a bit rough around the edges, because I thought that they were probably just misunderstood and all they needed was a second chance. Although I suppose this isn't a completely bad outlook to have on it's own... when it's combined with the mind of a naive and pompous 17 year old girl entering into a relationship, however...it can spell heart break.

I had my trust in males ripped from me when I was 17, although I guess the fault can't be entirely put on the fellow I was "dating" at the time, as I did willingly put myself in the position. Hindsight really is 20:20 though, as I look back now and wish that I had done so much differently...including having a better self esteem so that I didn't need to stay with a guy that I knew in my heart was cheating on me and lying to me straight to my face.

But...in trying to see the positives in a negative situation...I learned a lot about trust. I learned that it isn't something to just put in anybody. I learned that putting my full trust in someone who I really don't know can leave me vulnerable and open the door to a lot of pain. And in the last couple of years, I've learned what an incredible feeling it is to be able to sincerely trust someone that I've come to really know and love.

I guess thats about it for now. Keep our kids ministries team in your prayers, as we have lost some leaders and our numbers are dwindling, even before things get under way. But God is good, and I know things will come through according to His plan.

Blessings!

PS. If you were wondering where my random title came from, Matt has gotten me into his addiction called World of Warcraft and while watching a video on it one of the characters said this line. So hilarious. Check out this webpage to see all the characters dance moves.

Sun Smart

Just a quick update for my family (and anyone else who is concerned about my skin)...

I spent a few hours at the beach on Sunday, in some absolutely scorching heat..and I am pleased to report...I did not sunburn!! I was plastering on sunscreen about every 45 minutes or so, which left me feeling pretty gross, but I did not burn!

It's game time.

Well, it's the end of another hectic week, and we're on a much needed long weekend off.

We had three more days of training this week, which is always a challenge to sit and listen for hours on end about things that aren't necessarily too interesting, and at the same time try and remember as much as possible that will be needed for this upcoming year.

Commonwealth games start in just four days. Everything going on at Melbourne at the moment is literally revolving around these games. Flags and banners are up all over the city advertising it, every shop and restaurant has some sort of Commonwealth games merchandising, and everyone is trying to brace themselves for the horrid traffic flow that is going to be greeting us in driving around the city, and on the public transport.

At 614 we're also preparing. It's not really certain how the people that we know and work with every day at the Lifecentre (drop in centre) are going to react to the games. We've already noticed an increased tension amoung people the past couple of days at the knowledge that soon their city is going to be flooded with strangers. For 7 days during the games the hours at the Lifecentre is being changed from 10-1, to 10-8...which means our schedules also change during the games to take turns on shifts to make sure all the hours are covered. We aren't entirely sure if we'll see a decrease in people dropping in, due to the rumours going around that police will be kicking the homeless out of the city during the games...or that we'll see a huge increase because so many will just be looking for a place to hide away and take some space from all the activity that will be going on. Either way, it'll be an interesting experience.

Canadians are certainly making a name for themselves during the preparations for the games. It's been all over the media how the Canadians have complained that there is no air conditioning in their living accommodations, and that Melbourne is too hot for them to stay here without it. So apparently they are looking at buying heaps of fans to bring with them, just so they can survive this intense heat. I know they're coming straight from a bitter cold winter out there in the great white north...but common guys! Making it sound as if us poor Eskimos out there in the west never experience any heat!

For anyone who watched the video tour I put up of my house, I took another one so that you can actually see my room. Click here to view it!

But, I guess that's about it for now. I'm still alive and well and things are very good overal. I'm going to go and relax and enjoy the long weekend (and the hot weather..It's gone back up to 35!).

Blessings!

Brilliant like a fox!

I've come to the end of week three, and spending some time relaxing enjoying my day off.

This week was the busiest so far, but also the most enjoyable. We had a Ball Monday night at 614 that was run by loads of volunteers and heaps of donations. It was a free event, held for anyone in the community who wanted to come. We had hair stylist and make up artists come in to make over anyone who wanted it. We also had tons of suits and dresses and shoes for people to come in and try on and wear to the Ball. A few of us Order members decided we weren't going to get dressed up but just help out...but once we got started looking at all the dresses...we couldn't resist getting all dolled up. It proved to be an absolutely amazing night, and was a real chance for people from the community and from our drop in centre to look and feel beautiful and just dance the night away. We had a well known football player come and host a "dance off" and a fantastic house band play as we ate our dinner. I've put up about 40 pictures from the night on my msn space so definitely check those out. It was an awesome chance to just bond with my Order team members, as well as to just have a lot of fun with clients that we work with every day.

We also had safe syringe disposal training this past week, and an overview on mental health. The syringe training got a bit interesting when one of my team members fainted due to a combination of lack of sleep and getting put off by all the talk of needles and blood...but she recovered quickly and after a good rest that night had a full recovery.

Things are starting to come together for the kids team that I am apart of. I was asked if I could be one of three to help teach Junior soldiers at 614, as I'm the only Senior soldier on the Order, so I'm looking forward to that. Soon we'll have some breakfast clubs and homework clubs up and running with some of the communities that 614 began to get involved with last year. We had a very successful meeting with a primary school about getting involved with the kids there, and we're starting to get very exciting at the doors that God is opening for us this year.

I'm starting to feel a great deal more focused and on track...and a lot more like myself. I've begun to really click with several members on my team, and I'm laughing and enjoying myself a lot more. I still have moments where I feel completely lost or that I'm struggling with everything going on around me...but God is good and is pulling me through. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me, it is so extremely appreciated. And thank you to those of you who continue to be there for me when I'm struggling and always willing to give an encouraging word...it means so much.

Oh..I also uploaded a short video tour I took of the house I'm living it. I look quite gross in the bits I'm in...so ignore that...but click here if you'd like to have a look.

That's about it for now I think.

Blessings!

Update...

I have a few minutes on a computer, so I thought I'd just write a quick blog.

I'm on my third week of my program, Order 614. Things are continuing to overal go really well, although I've had a few struggles over the last week or two. Right now we're just getting a lot of training in, such as first aid, safety in the workplace, and just orientation around 614 and the various programs.

I think things that I need some prayer for right now is just continuing to get used to living in a house with about 17 other people, and adjusting to the many different dynamics that comes with that, and the lack of personal time and space that seems to happen. In the last little bit I have been making a real effort to spend time in prayer with God in the mornings and evenings, and that's made a real difference in my focus and strength, but it's still a bit of a daily struggle.

I know that there is heaps that God wants to teach me over the course of this year, and there is a lot of growing I need to do and things that I need to work on. I'm just realizing that it's proving to be a bit of a struggle to just allow God to have complete control and to break me down, mostly because I tend to get easily distracted by things going on around me.

Anyways, I should be off because we're having a big ball tonight at 614 for the community, so lots to get ready!

Blessings!

It has begun!

Well, it's been absolutly ages since I've posted, so I thought it was about time I did.

I have survived my first week of Order 614. I've taken a few photos that have some of my team mates in them, so check those out on my msn space. I'll take a video tour of where I'm living soon, and post that up as well.

One of my biggest worries was about having a roommate. I was bound and determined that I was not going to have one, and spent a lot of time complaining about it the week or two leading up to the start of my program (sorry Matt!). But, God is good, and took care of everything.
I am rooming with a 17 year old from Perth, named Chloe. She is an absolutly beautiful soul, and has already in the past week been such a huge strength for me. She is just totally on fire for God and is such an inspiration to me. She's really been challenging my way of thinking and keeps me accountable in my relationship with God. We knew that we'd get along just fine when it was realized we're both deeply in love with Anchorman, and the quotes work themselves into pretty much every conversation we have.

This past week there's been some team building days, and some training sessions. I'm starting to get to know downtown Melbourne a bit more, and can find my way around better every day. Starting on Monday I've got a week packed full of training sessions...so not too excited about that, but I know it's all things that I need to learn.

The team I'm on is great, and overal everyone has been a really good support making sure I fit in and that I'm doing okay. It's looking to be a very amazing year. I'll do my best to update when I get to a computer, and keep looking for more pictures as I post them.

Just to finish off, I have to give a shout out to an absolutly hilarious blog that deserves a read if you get a chance. It's from the brilliant mind that is Matthew Atkins, so click here to have a look. It's definitely not to be taken seriously, but is good for a laugh, and you've got some creativity in you, leave a comment.

Blessings!

Some Tag Action

Well, THE fantastic and fabulous Ashley Elliott has given me a little tag-a-roo....so here goes nothing.

Four jobs I’ve had:
Sales person at Crafters Marketplace - a vendors craft store that closed about 2 months after I started working there. Good old Warden Power Centre!
Sales associate at Old Navy
Working at camp for 6 summers
Subsitute and Relief worker at Richardson Residence for Children's Aid

Four movies I can watch over & over:
Ever After
Anchorman
Shag
Shawshank Redeption

Four places I’ve lived:
My townhouse in East York, Ontario where I've lived my whole life
Beaver Creek Camp in Saskatchewan for 2 months, summer of 2000
Camp Wabana for 5 summers (Sutton, Ontario..good ol' S dot)
A hostel in Sunshine Australia, where i'll be this year.

Four TV shows I love:
CSI
Law and Order SVU
Star Trek TNG
Amazing Race

Four places I’ve vacationed:
Vancouver, BC
PEI
Conference Centre at Jacksons Point...don't get no better then that!
Lake Placid

Four of my favourite dishes::
Chicken stir fry
Chicken wrap from Jawny Bakers..yummm...
Cashew Chicken and pad thai noddles from Green Mango
All different varieties of curry chicken

Four sites I visit daily:
Hotmail
Homestar Runner
My blog - then to all my friends blogs linked from it
Google

Four places I’d rather be right now:
Well...I'm in Australia...so I don't have much else right now lol
But I guess, either a very fast route home to see all the family and friends that I miss
Backpacking Europe
New Zealand

Four bloggers I’m tagging:

Jessica Hynes
Matt Atkins
Donna Halsey
Dionne Halsey

(P.S. VERY good trip to Apollo Bay this past weekend...check out the pix on my msn space. And yahhhhh..definitely forgot the sunscreen again. Upper arms burnt hard core..bringing the grand total to FOUR sunburns now. I think I've peeled more in the past 3 weeks then the past 10 years of my life. Gross....)

Happy Australia Day!

Well, the sunburn count is now up to three...but I've nearly recovered from the severe one I got on my back, and I think I'm slowly learning to be sun smart. I'll get there eventually I'm sure.

This week I went to the Melbourne Zoo. Finally got to see some Australian animals! (Believe it or not, kangaroos aren't just running wild every where you look.) Oh, Dionne and Donna...I definitely bought a kangaroo crossing sign at the zoo gift shop!

Things are still going well here on this side of the world. Yesterday I woke up to find that a package from my family had come. Definitely made my week! My favourite part of it was the t-shirt that included messages and favourite bible verses from my siblings, parents, grandparents, cousin, aunts and uncles. I'll be putting that up on my wall when I move into my house in Sunshine! It did make me feel homesick and I had kindof an off day...but I'm just trying to not let myself dwell on how much I miss my family.

The weather continues to be on a hot streak, as Sunday was 43 degrees, and today is pushing 40. But I guess it's still better then snow!

This weekend I think I'm heading up to a beach area called Apollo Bay for a couple days with one of the girls I've been hanging out with, so that should be some good relaxing time spent on the beach! (Yes mum...I'll remember the sunscreen!)

As a random thought to finish this off, I heard an interesting theory last night when I went out for dinner with a couple of girls. One of the girls in her psychology class learned a reason to explain the differences in how girls and guy categorize their relationships. Apparently, (keeping in mind this is just a general statement..choose to agree or disagree) males are able to put females they have relationships with into clearly labelled boxes. For example, if they have a girlfriend...she is in the girlfriend box. If they have a girl who is their best friend...she is in the best friend box. And if the relationship ends with their girlfriend, they take her out of that box, but maybe instead put her into the bestfriend box if they still consider her they're closest friend.

Then, in comparison...females have a sliding scale for the males they have relationships with. At one end of the spectrum could be complete stranger, and at the other end of the scale could be boyfriend. So as a female gets to know a male, he may slide up and down this scale, but what may be lacking are clear and definite lines as to if this male is the best friend, or if he is the object of a crush, or when he becomes the boyfriend.

So, this rational was used I think to explain how girls often have difficulties falling for guys who are their "best friends" or guys they spend a lot of time with because their lines are blurred as to where one aspect of their relationships starts and the other one ends. While it seems to be easier for guys to continue to think of a girl as just their friend, because she's clearly labelled in the "just friend" box.

Any thoughts? I thought an was an interesting way of looking at it anyways.

Oh, and if in need of a laugh, or you are a David Hasselhoff fan...give this link a look see.

Blessings!

Another music camp under my belt...

I'm back in Melbourne now after spending the week in Philip Island for the Victorian Creative Arts Camp (VCAC).

The first day or so that I was there was a bit hard, and to say I felt nervous and out of place was an understatement. I realized that being in a very crowded room filled with people that I didn't know, but who all knew each other, is one of the most lonely experiences of my life. I definitely struggled a bit with feeling homesick, and not sure exactly what I was doing there...but I got a lot of support from my good mate Matt, as well as my new fellow foreigner friend Callum, who pushed me through the first couple of days.

But in the end, I had an amazing time, and met a lot of incredible people (like you Bec!). It was different to any Canadian music camp that I've been to in that it was so much more laid back and relaxed. There was no auditions for anything, and everyone (about 120 of us) were in one massed vocal group that performed the final night at the concert. I was in drama and dance, and had an amazing time in both. I found I was able to come out of my shell in the drama sessions, and wasn't afraid of embarrassing myself in front of a group of strangers. Dance was definitely my favourite, and Claire had put together an absolutly incredible routine that looked amazing when we performed it the night of the concert.

The last night we were at the camp there was a bit of a praise and worship night. It was very different to the type that we had at Territorial, but it was still neat to see how God was working in so many lives. When sitting with Callum that night we were reflecting how it looks when youth are being moved by God back home for me in Canada, and back home for him in Scotland. And it was interesting to notice that no matter where in the world you are, and although there are always slight variations....God still moves. God is international and he speaks to us no matter where we are. It's definitely a comforting thought for me, especially when I'm feeling homesick, to know that no matter where I go, who I meet, and what I do...God is constant and unchanging.

I met a lot of incredible people this past week, and it continued to blow my mind how genuinely friendly everyone was! I had youth of all ages continually asking me if I was doing alright and if I was enjoying myself. I had a few people who were absolutly obsessed with my "accent" (which still blows me away because I don't think I have an accent at all!) and I don't think I've ever said "out and about" so many times in one week in my life.

I enjoyed getting an opportunity to lead the girls devotions one night, as well as leading a prayer meeting one morning. Definitely made me feel useful in some way, and again kind of putting me out of my comfort zone when I'm in a situation where nearly everyone is a complete stranger to me.

So I know a few more people now...and some people who I'll definitely be keeping in touch with while I'm here and most likely meeting up with to hang out with and get to know some more (as well as I found someone who will take me surfing! heyooh!).

Oh...side note...I also tried Vegimite for my first time this week. It was kindof vile, and tasted like dirty cheese...but I did manage to eat the whole piece of toast!

I've posted the few pictures that I did take during the week up on my msn space...and when we get out picture cds from the week at camp, I'll definitely post those up...so stay tuned!

But now it's time for church.

Blessings!

Survived my first week...

I've been enjoying a fairly relaxing summer holiday over the past week...Definitely a nice break. The weather has been gorgeous and I have been loving all the sun. Although currently I'm dealing with a pealing nose and forehead as I got a pretty bad sunburn earlier this week (you'd think I'd learn by now that I'm a red head...sunscreen is my best friend!).

I've seen lots of scenic sights around Melbourne, and have been taking lots of pictures (check them out on my msn space).

Yesterday I had a random highlight to my trip. While out running some errands with Matt, he got a phone call on his cell for me. General Eva Burrows had called and asked to talk to me. I was caught totally guard as that was the last person I was expecting to give me a call! But she said that she's heard all about me, and is very excited to have me in Australia. She also asked what Halsey I was related to, and turns out she knows my Grandpa Halsey very well. I guess it's good to know that people are excited to have me here!

Tomorrow morning we head off to "Afresh" Salvation Army Music Camp for the week. Please keep me in your prayers as I'm definitely nervous....one, about going to yet another music camp after finally facing my fears in August and going to Territorial...and two, about going to a camp where I know pretty much nobody. I'm in the dance and drama electives....both things which I'm not very talented at, so I'm just a tad worried about it.

Overal though, things are going well. I definitely miss friends and family though, but it is good to be able to call and email them at any time which makes things a lot easier.

Feel free to keep emailing me, as I love hearing about everything that's going on in the great white north!

Blessings!

Booyah master chief

I just got an email from my sister this morning, passing on that I've gotton a label onto Jones Soda...again!! Heyyyyoh!!

Check out the picture below to see the label that I got on. It's of one of the guys I met when I was in England back in May. (Yes Chris...they took the label off of the back of his shirt!)

Mission for people in Canada...keep your eyes peeled for a Jones Cream Soda with this label!! If you find one, buy it and don't drink it and hold on to it for me!

P.S. Thank you to everyone who has been sending me emails from home!! I'm definitely loving hearing from everyone and it makes my day to hear about all the going ons in Canada!!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year from down under!!

I just rung in the new year at a Gangster Swing Party...good times indeed.

We listened to a fantastic swing band play, and everyone in attendance was dressed as gangsters or flappers from the 1920s era.

Definitely a unique experience, and a first for me for going out swing dancing.

I hope everyone else has a brilliant New Years!

Blessings!

P.S I posted some scenic pictures from a walk along the Yarra River last night. Check them out on my MSN space.

I come from a land down under...

Just a really quick post to say that I'm alive and in Australia safe and sound!

I slept for more then half of my 15 hour flight from LA to Melbourne (yay gravol) so that made the flight actually go by really fast. I didn't even freak out over any terbulance..I must be growing.

Anyways...I can't believe I'm actually here! Really awesome, although it definitely hasn't sunk in completely yet.

Note to my family....I tried calling all of your cell phones and no one answered!! So I did try!!

Thats all for now...post again soon I'm sure.

Thanks for all the encouraging words and prayers! Much appreciated!!

Miss you all!

Blessings.

So long..farewell...

I've decided I hate goodbyes.

The last two weeks have been full of random goodbye hugs and kisses as I see people for the last time before I leave..and the last 24 hours has been the hardest with saying goodbye to the people closest to me that I've put off saying my farewells too right up until the last possible moment.

I've shed some tears with the majority of goodbyes of the past little while...saying goodbye to my Regent kids, my sunday school class, Scarborough youth, my 614 family, highschool friends, the Ignite team, and my closest friends and family. I've literally not been alone for more then half an hour in the last 3 days (including at night because I've had three sleepovers with my sisters), so I have definitely not let myself have time to let things sink in or have a proper cry about it all. I know a big ridiculous girly crying mess is on the verge of happening and will burst out at some point today. I'm hoping it'll happen when I'm sitting waiting to board the plane in front of a bunch of strangers, and I'll just make a big hysterical scene. Good times.

So I've 3 hours until I leave for the airport, and still not quite finished packing (I'll never shake the procrastinator in me...). Goodbye to everyone I didn't get a chance to catch up with. And I could never thank my family and friends enough for the support, love and encouragement I've been getting over the past few weeks leading up to me leaving. I am definitely leaving Canada with a sense of love and a knowing that I will be missed, and that is an amazingly beautiful feeling to have to carry with me.

So...goodbye, and I'll post again when I've arrived on the other side of the world.

Blessings.

Come Awake

Are we left here on our own?
Can you feel when your last breath is gone?

Night is waiting heavy now
Be quiet and wait for a voice that will say

Come awake
From sleep, arise
You were dead
You’ve come alive
Wake up wake up

Open your eyes
Climb from your grave
Into the light
Bring us back to life

You are not the only one
Who feels like the only one
Night soon will be lifted friend
Just be quiet and wait for the voice that will say

Come awake
From sleep, arise
You were dead
You’ve come alive
Wake up wake up

Open your eyes
Climb from your grave
Into the light
Bring us back to life

Rise, rise, rise, rise, rise
Rise, rise, rise, rise….
Shine, shine, Oh shine
We will shine
We will rise
We will shine, shine, shine

Just seven sleeps left...

I've had a whirl wind of a couple days...but it's been stuffed full of good times.

I'm trying to cram in as much hang out time with as many people as I can in the remaining little bit of time that I have in Canada before I head off on my trip.

A few highlights from the past couple of days.

Friday night I had thai food with three high school friends, who I haven't hung out with in ages. We shared a ton of random moments, and caught up on a lot, and finished off the night with cheese cake and ice cream for a belated celebration for Erins 22nd birthday.

Saturday I had my final two squads in Regent Park (for this year anyways) as we had our Christmas parties. I had one of the seven year old girls get really upset with me when I told her I'd be gone for a year, and wouldn't see her at camp this summer. She's been known to be quite a spaz of a child, but I've really been able to bond with her over the past couple of months. My heart melted when she told me I had two options. Either, I quit and come home early from Australia...or I pack her in my suitcase and take her with me. Saying goodbye to my Regent kids has definitely been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

Sunday morning at church, I had my final Sunday School class, as we had our Christmas party. I've grown to really love my pre-teens/teens that I've been teaching for the past four months. I always look forward to the fun and energy they bring to my life on Sunday mornings. I pray that God will continue to take care of them and protect them over this next year while I'm away.

During the Sunday morning service at Scarborough, I was surprised by being asked by my pastor to come up to the front of the church so that the congregation could pray for me. I've been feeling extremely blessed by my corps as they've supported me in leaving, and have had a lot of encouraging words spoken to me, as well as a ton of financial support from individuals in my church. God has definitely used my corps in a huge way in preparing me for this trip.

At lunch on Sunday I had a "surprise" going away party thrown for me by my fellow youth at Scarborough, which really meant a lot. Jeff gave me such an awesome going away gift of a sketch pad and drawing materials, and spoke such beautiful words of encouragement to me. I went home with tears in my eyes, feeling really loved, and having to have started my goodbyes with some of my friends.

I spent a crazy afternoon down at 614 helping out with the kids Christmas play. It was absolutly crazy of course, as is any production put on by a mass amount of kids...but was tons of fun. I got to spend a few extra hours hanging out with some more kids from Regent who I'm going to miss hugely when I leave. The play was definitely a success, and everyone was impressed with the random lion, kangaroo-pouched-donkey, and dinosaur we had show up at the manger scene.

Sunday night I had a crazy night of playstation karoke with a bunch of the 614 girlies. I value those girls friendship so much, and love them to pieces. It was a good night of hanging out and good conversations with several people.

Monday night I spent some solid quality time with my better half, Jocelyn. Definitely good to FINALLY meet up and hang out and catch up. We made a mini road trip up to Newmarket to visit the one and only Sam Nolan. Sam...you crazy cat...you rock my world.

When we got there Sam handed me the biggest load of random things wrapped up I've ever received. She even wrapped the card! (The coolest Christmas card ever..with Dinosaurs on it of course!) So I was blessed with receiving...a travel toothbrush and toothpaste...a travel face cloth...travel ear plugs...a fantastic skirt and a bag both made from curtains...a hippee peace teddy bear...and the coolest mixed cd ever made (even if I've never heard of any of the bands..but I'll work on educating myself Cappi!)

One week left today until I board the plane for the longest plane ride of my life. It's getting harder and harder as I'm giving hugs to people for the last time before I go..and I'm trying to repress the realization that this will be the last time I see my loved ones for a very long time.

But, I do have to note one positive thing. When getting ready to leave everyone and everything you're familiar with...you realize how much you're loved, and the support and encouragement that surrounds your life. I can't ever say that I'm not blessed with tons of people who love me.

Praise the Lord for that.

A Christmas addition to the family

We finally picked a day that the whole family was free and got out to the Hortons Magic Hill Tree Farm, for some annual cutting down of our Christmas Tree this past Sunday.

After a hayride out to the trees, and spending a lot of time debating, walking around, and deciding what it was we were looking for in a tree that year...we finally found our guy. We have a crazy tradition that goes along with going up to Magic Hill Tree Farm...and that is naming our tree. We pretty much never remember what the name was of the previous year, mostly because it ends up being long, complicated and just ridiculous...but it just always seems to complete our Christmas to name our tree.

So here is the picture with Edgar Bubbles Ruby Halsey (or "Bubs" as the kids on the street like to call him.)

And tonight we made sure everyone could be home at 8:30pm sharp to decorate dear old Edgar, as we're not allowed to put our decorations up without everyone being present. It's another tradition that my mom makes us all a decoration each Christmas to add to our tree, as we still only decorate with either home-made or sentimental decorations. This year I got a pretty green, red-headed fairy ornament to put on the tree.

Isn't he pretty?

Today I had to say goodbye to Gareth and Kirstin who are on their way back to Ireland...and I had my last Wednesday night squad and had to say goodbye to a lot of kids after breaking the news that I would be leaving for a year after Christmas. So, it has been a bit of a sad day as I just take another step in realizing how soon I leave.

But, despite that...I am starting to feel a bit more in the Christmas spirit as our dear tree is up and decorated...we spent about an hour listening to our classic cd of Mariah Carey's Christmas tunes...we drank some warm apple cider...and I got my first Christmas present tonight. I guess I can't really keep post poning feeling in the season..because it's going to come either way. Might as well enjoy all the moments as they happen over the next two weeks instead of being in denial about them.

Blessings.

You know you've done too many kettle shifts at Walmart when...

...you know the most popular "bratz" toys for kids this Christmas.

...you know the rotation schedule for the carry out guys.

...you direct more customers to different parts of the store then the Walmart greeters do.

...you can spot who set off the security alarm and ask them to move away from the doors with their purchase that they're exchanging before the Walmart employees do.

...you are on a first name basis with the greeters.

...you know when someone is swiping their bank card the wrong way at the cash when they're is 10 feet away from you.

...you become the official guardian of the broken carts and say about 10 times a minute to customers who come up "sorry..they're broken."

24 finds me...in 24th place...

24 days until I board a plan bound for Australia. Seriously..where has the time gone?

I'm beginning to get a lot of anxiety, stress, excitement, nervousness, and fear..all kindof rolled up into one big feeling of being extremely overwhelmed by the fact I'm leaving the country for a year, really really soon.

I'm finding it really hard to get into the Christmas spirit. I think I'm realizing that it has a lot to do with how reluctant I am about acknowledging that it's just around the corner..and so is my plane ride out of Canada. It's beginning to sink in that I'm going to be saying my goodbyes to a lot of people really soon who I'll be seeing for the last time before I go.

Tonight I had an absolutly wonderful evening spent with three fantastically wonderful girls. Natalie, Carmen and Sam graced me with their beautiful presence, as we had a mini female cabin leader reunion. We went out and bought some cake mix from a dusty bottom shelf of the corner store at the top of my street...demonstrated our sweet baking skills..and watched a movie. It was great to spend some time hanging out with these ladies and getting exposed to the antics that is only Sam Nolan as she tried to count my freckles (again) and jumped on me about every 5 minutes. I have really missed my cabin leaders since the summer, so it was great getting a chance to catch up, see their smiles, and have some good hang out time together.

When Sam and Carmen were leaving, it was only a temporary goodbye because they are planning on visiting me at 614 on a Sunday before I leave (also because I'll need to pick up my fabulous new curtain pants the Cappi is making me). But when Natalie was leaving...we pretty much knew that this would be the last time we saw each other before I left. I know I'll be back in a year, and I will see her again....but tonight was my first real goodbye to someone knowing that I'm not going to see them again until I come back from Australia. And that's kindof making a lot of things sink in, and starting the process of this all becoming real and knowing that I'm leaving a lot of people I love for a really long time.

The popular conversation starter lately has been for people asking me "so are you about ready to leave?" or "do you have everything all packed up and ready to go?" or something else along those lines. Despite now hearing this question about 3 times a day from people I run into...I still smile, and say, "just about! It's coming up really soon!" and try to give off the impression that I'm super excited and everything is coming together just fabulously.

But in all honesty...I'm getting really scared. One of my biggest fears in life is being alone. Although I've gotten a lot stronger in this area over the past year, and God has really become a solid stronghold to me when I'm feeling lonely...I'm still afraid of being in a place when I don't have my close friends and family surrounding me and continually uplifting me. As ridiculous as this might sound, I realized today how much I'm going to miss all the hugs I get on a daily basis. From friends who I don't see that often...from friends who I see every day but we hug anyways...from my siblings who are just overflowing with them...from my parents whenever I see them...from my three year old cousin who gives the best bear hugs in the world...all from people who I know love me.

I'm also really scared of failing. Of going half way around the world and screwing up. Of not doing all that people have built me up to be capable of. Of becoming really homesick and not being able to just lean on and trust in God.

I shed my first couple of tears tonight in anticipation of all the goodbyes I'm going to be saying soon to a lot of people I'd really rather not say goodbye to...but instead hold on a little bit longer where I'm comfortable...and where I know people...and where I feel loved.

Thank you again, my camp girlies, for a wonderful night. Special thanks shout out to Cappi for the education of the Australian Indie band, "Architecture in Helsinki", that I will look into..just for you.

Just be brave.

Just wanted to make a quick post as a short follow up to the previous one.

Something was pointed out to me by a friend in regards to all the comments left.

As a general observation...it seems that all the males who left comments stated that it really doesn't matter if it's the girl or the guy who makes the "move" or initiates the relationship, so long as someone does to get things going. And then on the other hand...it seems that for the most part the females who left comments stated that they would really much rather that the guy did the asking out.

So...I guess two lessons learned.

Girls. If you aren't too afraid to make a move. Do it. The guy just might be very glad you did..and definitely won't be offended that you took things into your own hands.

Guys. No matter what day in age it might be...girls will always be sappy romantics at heart, wanting to fussed over and given a reason to swoon. So..you want to impress a girl? Put yourself out there, be a man, and ask her out. Even though the girl might be okay with making the first move...she likes it even better when she doesn't have to, and will feel that you like her that much more for taking the risk and showing that she was worth it.

I know that guys get just as scared about making a move and stepping up as girls do, and to them it really doesn't matter who gets things going...but in all honesty, the above still stands. I know someone who will continue to argue with me on this subject...but it's definitely nice for the girl who always has to initiate..to find a guy who is willing to take that task off of her hands and pursue her for a change.